funny headlines

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funny the onion headlines

14 Spicy Headlines From 'The Onion' That Just Speak To Us

Headline that reads, "Man Sues McDonald's for Still Being Depressed After Eating Happy Meal"

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Headline from The Independent that reads, "Cow escapes on way to slaughterhouse, smashes metal fence, breaks human's arm, and swims to uninhabited island where she still lives"

Metal

Headline that reads, "NC man arrested for stealing five pounds of baby powder from CVS" above a mugshot of a guy covered in baby powder

Can't Be Too Sure About That

A whole bunch of headlines blaming Millennials for killing various industries

Millennials: The Generation Killing Stuff Since 1980

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Headline that reads, "Kanye Scores 106 Points Against Wheelchair Basketball Team"

You Know Kanye Had To Do It To 'Em

Onion headline that reads, "Man Hoping People Notice How Many Folding Chairs He's Carrying at Once"

'Don't Mind Me Over Here!'

Amusing Memes

29 Amusing Memes That'll Have You LOLlin'

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Headline that reads, "Don't kill that spider in your house. It's unlikely to bite you and is good for the environment" under the caption, "Did a spider write this"

Seems Like A Setup...

Headline that reads, "Man on LSD Saves Dog from Imaginary Fire"

He Tried And That's All That Matters

Onion headline that reads, "Man Forced to Come Up with 45 Seconds of Facial Expressions While Waitress Lists Off Specials"

Look, We Both Know I'm Gonna Get The Same Thing I Always Get

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Sarcastic headline that reads, "Man Spends Whole Day Dreading Fun Activity He Signed Up For"

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58-year-old employee gets let go, the rest of the department leaves, HR begs for employee to come back 4 months later: 'That's not going to work for me'

58-year-old employee gets let go, the rest of the department leaves, HR begs for employee to come back 4 months later: 'That's not going to work for me'

Boss schedules meeting with HR to discuss employee's attitude after they say "no" to increased workload for the first time ever in 2 years: 'So now we have a meeting scheduled with HR to talk about it'

Boss schedules meeting with HR to discuss employee's attitude after they say "no" to increased workload for the first time ever in 2 years: 'So now we have a meeting scheduled with HR to talk about it'

Director is told to accept $50k less pay or take 8 weeks' severance after company is acquired by another company: 'I’m going to be doing the same thing'

Director is told to accept $50k less pay or take 8 weeks' severance after company is acquired by another company: 'I’m going to be doing the same thing'

A Mouthful of Hilarious Cooking Memes for Amateur Chefs (October 8, 2025)

A Mouthful of Hilarious Cooking Memes for Amateur Chefs (October 8, 2025)

9 and 11-year-old homeschoolers stay up until 4 AM running and screaming, mom only cares because they're keeping her up: 'I wouldn't care if they didn't keep me up too.'

9 and 11-year-old homeschoolers stay up until 4 AM running and screaming, mom only cares because they're keeping her up: 'I wouldn't care if they didn't keep me up too.'

29-year-old unexpectedly hosts sister and brother-in-law for weekend, offends them claiming she'll kick them out for making noise with cutlery: 'From the start, they were entitled and disrespectful'

29-year-old unexpectedly hosts sister and brother-in-law for weekend, offends them claiming she'll kick them out for making noise with cutlery: 'From the start, they were entitled and disrespectful'

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