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Funny Tweets as Sweet as Treats

If thoughts are birds, Twitter is the window they all fly into. Here are some funny tweets to make you think about all the weird and dumb thoughts people are having all around you every second of every day. As it turns out, our most strongly held opinions are the most minute, inconsequential ones.

Silly jokes from twitter | tweet by brendohare will have 4 blueberry muffins dinner please DUNKIN DONUTS CASHIER: Please do not tell us having them dinner
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Dating In New York Could Be Quite Tough According To These Tweets

Dating can be super fun but according to these tweets, dating in New York is a never-ending carousel that can make you lose your entire frame of reference. 

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A Hole Lot Of Bagel Tweets

We love bagels. And bagels love us. Presumably. Maybe not. 

But our love for bagels runs deep -- much like the rest of the world who have vocally expressed their love for bagels on Twitter. 

Here are some of the best bagel-related tweets you'll ever come across: 

lol tweets bagels funny twitter delicious love bagel
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Twitter Is Having A Field Day Over 'Baby Alzheimer's' Parodies

Alzheimer's Disease is no laughing matter, but these Twitter memes certainly are. When Twitter user Lira Mercer asked followers their thoughts on infant vaccinations, one person responded saying they were against them, asserting that as a consequence babies can acquire "Down syndrome, Alzheimer's, etc." 

Of course, this person probably meant to say autism and not "Alzheimer's," but the damage has already been done. Now let the facepalm fest commence.

Funny Twitter memes and reactions to someone on Twitter asserting that babies can develop Alzheimer's Disease from vaccines
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Twitter Is Having A Field Day Over 'Baby Alzheimer's' Parodies

Alzheimer's Disease is no laughing matter, but these Twitter memes certainly are. When Twitter user Lira Mercer asked followers their thoughts on infant vaccinations, one person responded saying they were against them, asserting that as a consequence babies can acquire "Down syndrome, Alzheimer's, etc." 

Of course, this person probably meant to say autism and not "Alzheimer's," but the damage has already been done. Now let the facepalm fest commence.

Funny Twitter memes and reactions to someone on Twitter asserting that babies can develop Alzheimer's Disease from vaccines
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Clownish People Who Got Rejected Meme Their Pathetic Attempts

Let's not beat around the bush here; getting rejected sucks, big time. These brave Twitter users decided to meme themselves by posting a pic of their romantic rejection messages next to a selfie, captioning it "The Rejection...the Clown." 

Of course, the attempts weren't actually that clownish for the most part, but who doesn't love a little self-deprecating humor from time to time? We certainly get a kick out of it.

Funny Twitter memes about getting romantically rejected entitled, "The Rejection, The Clown"
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Thirty-Eight Tweets For Your Procrastination Pleasure

Tweets. They're short, they're sweet, and sometimes they're funny as hell. That makes them the perfect way to kill time before it's quitting time on Friday. You're going to make it through work, and we're going to help you.

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Funniest Relationship Tweets We Scrolled Past This Week

Guaranteed to make you laugh, cry or both. Just in case you have missed our previous list, here's a link.



funny marriage relationships funny tweets dating - 10390021
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Parenting Tweets Provided By The One And Only Rainn Wilson

Rainn Wilson, famously known for playing Dwight Schrute in The Office, has been sharing parenting tweets for years and we need to bring them out into the spotlight. 

You're welcome. 


rainn wilson dwight parenting tweets the office schrute funny twitter lol parents kids
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Uptight Plane Passenger Inspires Hilarious Thread About Armrest Etiquette

While heading to the festive film-loving crowds of snowy Sundance, writer Rachel Handler found something to write about even before her plane took off. The Vulture reporter took to Twitter when her "neighbor" loudly consulted Siri regarding "middle seat etiquette" on airplanes. The woman turned to Handler with the results of her query: she was legally entitled to both armrests for the duration of the flight. 

While Handler did not take issue with the findings, the manner in which this woman staked her legal claim left something to be desired. And their interactions didn't stop there. Handler consistently updated the thread with more of the woman's entitled antics, leaving people both impressed and entertained by the behavior. While we don't think thatSirishould ever be consulted regarding matters of humanity and kindness, the whole thing is pretty damn funny. We're also willing to bet that Handler was anything but bored on her journey. 

Funny Twitter thread about a woman on her way to Sundance. Her seatmate on the flight consulted siri to see what middle seat etiquette is, hilarity ensures, rachel handler
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Woman Dogsits Her Sister's Pup For The Weekend And Receives A Complete PDF Guide

When twitter user @bewwbie agreed to dogsit her sister's adorable friend, Gus, for the weekend, she didn't expect that. Right before the weekend, she received an email from her sister with an entire guide in a PDF format called "Instructional guide for a day in the life of Gus" with all the do's and dont's, daily routine, Gus's photos, and even a fast fun facts section! People on twitter were amazed by this high maintained dog.        

instructions guide for dogsitting | Weekend with Gus Instructional Guide Day life Gus Bed Time Bed time is between 9-9:30 PM. Tell him go bed, give treat, lock his crate, put blanket over turn all lights out, and leave room. If stay living room, he will cry! Daily Life Gus does best he adheres strict schedule. He can become rambunctious if he gets decide day goes! He needs be taken out every 2 hours typically. He will sit at door ring bells alert Potty time does not mean outside play time.
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Thirty-Eight Aimless Memes To Please Your Eyes

Do you like memes? If so, you've come to the right place because we have a plethora of memes just for you. 

Check out our latest gallery of random content here!

Funny random memes
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Twenty-Two Worker Memes For The Non-Trust Fund Kids

We all have to go to work to pay the bills in order to just survive - unless you're a trust-fund baby who inherited millions from your rich uncle (in which case get out of here). Just kidding, you can stay if you want to see how the rest of us plebes live. 

Click here for more relatable work memes.

Funny memes and tweets about work, working, jobs | man eating popcorn on a lazyboy chair watching a globe burn: have been telling management about problem weeks and now just like. tweet by msexcel many hours week do spend Excel? tweet by Consult Replying msexcel More than spend with my family
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Ridiculous Things Overheard At Nail Salons

Going to the nail salon is a great way to unwind and have a little "me-time". But there's something about getting pampered that makes some ladies feel comfortable enough to say whatever they want, regardless of how bad it sounds. Clearly, some people forget that nail salons are public places and whilst we do our best not to eavesdrop, sometimes it's just too hard not to overhear the absurdities that come out of people's mouths. Here are some of the best things overheard at nail salons around the world.

nail salon, overheard, ridiculous, tweets, funny tweets, pamper, girl time, absurdities | One mom says another our older daughter got trouble few years ago bought new car and weekend spa vacation teacher who filed complaint and everything just fine.
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