literalism

In our quest to be right about everything, sometimes it's worth it to pull over and smell the roses of "technically accuracy." Sure, these moments, jokes and memes might not be factually correct, but they're close enough to get credit. When it's hard to be right, one might as well go for technical accuracy that isn't exactly wrong.

Being actually right is a hard and thankless job. There are not enough hours in the day to burden ourselves with factual correctness, so sometimes we have to settle for technical and literally accurate options to get us through that day. Technically accurate moments let us enjoy the fruits of being not wrong, but with the time saving nature of not having to be totally right.

It takes a lot to be right, but being technically accurate and not incorrect is way easier and almost just as good. Those pesky forces of "factual accuracy" may try to come down on you, but hit 'em with some not-incorrect moments of technical accuracy and you're pretty much good to go, sort of.

Sure, arguing over semantics is all about dodging empirical facts and avoiding reality, but also it's kinda fun to be technically accurate. You're not gonna score high on any tests or win any real arguments being technically accurate, but at least at the end of the day you can tell yourself that your position, while stupid, was unassailable in its own little way.

Sure, arguing over semantics is all about dodging empirical facts and avoiding reality, but also it's kinda fun to be technically accurate. You're not gonna score high on any tests or win any real arguments being technically accurate, but at least at the end of the day you can tell yourself that your position, while stupid, was unassailable in its own little way.

Sure, arguing over semantics is all about dodging empirical facts and avoiding reality, but also it's kinda fun to be technically accurate. You're not gonna score high on any tests or win any real arguments being technically accurate, but at least at the end of the day you can tell yourself that your position, while stupid, was unassailable in its own little way.

Sure, arguing over semantics is all about dodging empirical facts and avoiding reality, but also it's kinda fun to be technically accurate. You're not gonna score high on any tests or win any real arguments being technically accurate, but at least at the end of the day you can tell yourself that your position, while stupid, was unassailable in its own little way.

Sure, arguing over semantics is all about dodging empirical facts and avoiding reality, but also it's kinda fun to be technically accurate. You're not gonna score high on any tests or win any real arguments being technically accurate, but at least at the end of the day you can tell yourself that your position, while stupid, was unassailable in its own little way.

In this confusing and unclear world of ours, there are generally more opportunities for us to be technically correct about something than actually factually accurate. That would involve learning. Who wants that when you could just scoop some of that good old wit out of your brain cavity and call it technically accurate and not totally wrong.

It's impossible to be right all the time, but "right" has a friend named "technically correct" who plays a lot faster and looser with the rules. Something can be technically accurate and not wrong in a way that feels clever on a good day and mind-blowingly dumb every other day. The fact remains, you can't argue with technically accurate.

If there's one thing that makes us feel less stupid than we actually are, it's our ability to be technically accurate. Sure, being technically correct about something doesn't make us any smarter, but it helps us further avoid the fact that we know way less than we think. Man is that comforting, just kicking your own stupid-can down the road.

If you can't think of something intelligent to say, just try to say something that sounds clever. And if you can't think of something clever, say something so mind-numbingly obvious, dumb, or weird that it seems like you're on a whole 'nother level. If you can't say something smart, at least be technically correct. At least that's what these clever and literal moments achieve.

When you can't think of the right answer, it helps to just think of something clever and technically correct. Well it doesn't actually help, but at least it makes you feel smart and that's something. So why not feel witty for a second with some clever and literal jokes that are technically correct.

There's no feeling quite like understanding a joke or moment that somehow manages to be witty, but also mind-achingly stupid at the same time. You can't say that they're perfectly correct, but they are technically accurate. We can't tell after reading these if we feel any smarter or if we've just boiled out our last few brain cells.

If you don't know the answer to something, why not see if you can get points for just being a smart ass about it? Being technically correct won't make you actually right, and it might make people think you're even dumber than before, but it's still worth a shot. When in doubt, be clever and literal.

While we don't always have the intended answers, we can at least be smart asses about things. Technically correct jokes have the benefit of making the teller feel smart while there's not really any new information needed. These silly puns and clever jokes are technically accurate, so you can't say they're completely wrong.