Dump Of Thirty-Three Random Memes

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andcallmeshirley
Dec 25, 2019 3:08 PM EST

Check out these funny tweets that'll have you chuckling in 280 characters or less.

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  • 01
    Text - Indy @IndecisiveJones If you say you're into chests and booty instead of tits an ass, you'll feel less like a pervert and more like a pirate 5:00 AM · 12/13/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 02
    Shoulder - Before online multiplayer After online multiplayer H,0 NaCl
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 03
    Text - Kimberly King Parsons @kkingparsons Took Me Eleven Minutes to do That Thing I've Been Avoiding for Three Months: A Memoir
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 04
    Facial expression - alamy stock phote me: what's his fu problem? wife: try singing to him g problem u me: what's your fu
    via Imgur
  • 05
    Text - Catherine na Nollag @cafernblue i till think my favourite thing that's ever happened to me on the internet is the time a guy said "people change their minds when you show them facts" and I said "actually studies show that's not true" and linked TWO sources and he said "yeah well I still think it works" 12:07 PM · 12/10/19 · Twitter for Android 30.2K Retweets 172K Likes
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 06
    Text - I GUESS I'M A DOG GUESS PERSON. AGAIN. YOU PIECE OF S... poorlydrawnlines.com
    via Imgur
  • 07
    People in nature - Girls have a hard time choosing where to eat, because the last time they chose, they doomed all of humanity.
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 08
    Text - Dan Sheehan @ltsDanSheehan Why do millennials complain all the time? idk man, we watched 2000 people die on live tv when we were ten and then literally nothing ever got better
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 09
    Text - The Nobel Prize THE NOBEL PRIZE @NobelPrize "As a child, I promised my mother I would win the Nobel Prize in Physics. 50 years later, I said to my mother, 'See, I have kept my promise. I won the Nobel Prize.' 'No,' said my mother, 'You promised it would be in physics!" - Kenzaburo Oe, awarded the 1994 Literature Prize
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 10
    Text - kklutz 2 themindpalaceofaqueen boys-and-suicide: Schools: We take bullying very seriously Me: I'm being bullied Schools: Sorry we can't do anything about it unless there is proof *kills self* Schools: This was so tragic and could have been prevented always reach out to us for help we care Source: boys-and-suicide 66,080 notes
    via Reddit
  • 11
    Classroom
    via Reddit
  • 12
    Furniture - SelfishPrick The Normal Sidelean Ian you prick move over The Comfy Sidelean Ian you f g dick That's better Linda NO. STOP THAT. Ian. Sit on the fu sofa LINDA. WHAT. THE. FK. IAN. Ian have you ever been on a f Linda. I believed in you. sofa.
    via Imgur
  • 13
    Adaptation - meters instead of bullet velocity of an AR-15 in football fields per fahrenheit when Americans see a measurement in u/CraaZzy
    via Reddit
  • 14
    Text - traumasakura shoutout to people with simultaneously great and terrible memories. like oh yeah i remember in perfect detail that random story you told about the banana costume from a year ago but all of novemeber? completely blank.
    via Reddit
  • 15
    Sink - StupG I am darkness... They'll never find me here ESSO Purell Room boredpanda.com
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 16
    Cartoon - Black Widow in Endgame GEN-
    via Reddit
  • 17
    Text - Me: *Punches a bully who's been punching me* My parents: Good job on standing up for yourself The law: Yeah that's fine it was self defence Schools:
    via Reddit
  • 18
    Text - discoursethot I'm proud to identify as morosexual. I'm attracted to dumbasses and dumbasses exclusively. A guy asked me what the Spanish word for tortilla was once and now I dream of kissing him under the moonlight discoursethot this same idiot: what kind of animal is the pink panther me, already taking off my clothes: benjamin you're so fu stupid
    via Reddit
  • 19
    Uniform - Queen Elizabeth actually cracks up when she realizes that her husband of 68 years is disguised as one of her royal guards. :)
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 20
    Text - м and 341 others Most relevant v I actually lent a girl an umbrella yesterday which takes the total number of girls I've made wet this year to -1. 412 4h Like Reply
    via Reddit
  • 21
    Text - Betches betches @betchesluvthis Some days: look up in a daze to realize it's 5:00 and I finished one to two tasks all day Other days: I've done two people's jobs and found a cure for the common cold and it's only 2pm <>
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 22
    Text - Lumberzack @ltsLumberzack The pharmaceutical industry deciding how much to charge for life saving drugs 248 +208 4416
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 23
    Text - dizzle_saint_james @Ummhowaboutno_ You can't judge me by my past because I don't live there anymore. Except for the hours between 9pm and 3am when I replay every single regret in my head repeatedly.
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 24
    Text - One day i want to take a video of Yardstick straight-up hurling himself into the void. Cats have no conception that there is a future. There is just now and the jingly toy. kleppy02 Your cat's name is Yardstick? followthebluebell He has three feet.
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 25
    Text - Zaiush Sarel @zaiush_sarel People who like green: it's a good color People who like orange: it's a good color People who like purple: Purple is my life. I dress purple, I glow purple, I eat and drink purple. If you come into my house and insult purple, I will personally tear you limb from limb 9:23 PM 04 Nov 18 3,887 Retweets 13.8K Likes
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 26
    Text - I asked an EOD guy once about the stress of bomb defusing. He shrugged & said "It's not. I'm either right, or suddenly it's not my problem any more." I try to stick to that perspective.
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 27
    Text - Matt Roller Follow @rolldiggity ME: "Trick or bear?" NEIGHBOR: "Bear?" ME: "HE HAS CHOSEN THE BEAR!" [distant roar and sounds of clanking chains] RETWEETS FAVORITES 83 115 11:03 AM - 31 Oct 2014
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 28
    Cartoon - Man is by nature a political animal. I, a political animal, am therefore a man. I feel like thats not a valid syllogism. 384 BC - 345 BC BEARISTOTLE could be better I cbbcomic.com
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 29
    Product - There is a jellyfish whose sting will leave you with and "Impending sense of doom" and suicidal thought lasting up to two weeks. Creepy Facts. I dated a woman like that once
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 30
    Text - 10 www.FB.com/TributetoStephenCovey THINGS you must give up to move forward by Marc #6 Your need to be right * Aim for success, but never give up your right to be wrong. * Because when you do, you will also lose your ability to learn new things and move forward with your life. #1 Letting the opinions of others control your life. * It's not what others think, it's what you think about yourself that counts * You have to do exactly what's best for you and your life, not what's best for every
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 31
    Text - Cydni Beer @cydbeer My husband called on his way home from work to ask if I wanted a cheeseburger. I said I didn't, I would just have one bite of his. He brought me home my own cheeseburger and I think this is why our marriage has lasted over 14 years now.
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 32
    Text - CAristma Darlin' Darla @Darlainky What we thought we'd have by 2020: flying cars. What we didn't think we'd have but do: blankets that can double as weightlifting equipment. 8:56 AM 12/11/19 · Twitter for iPhone
    via Phone clearing dump of stolen memes.
  • 33
    Text - Isabel Steckel @lsabelSteckel once at a sleepover i asked my friend if she wanted a midnight snack and she said no because she wasn't hungry.no slmit, i don't eat at midnight because i'm hungry, i eat because i'm empty inside. now would you like to have nachos with me or not rebecca
    via Imgur

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