Fiancé's World Turned Upside Down By 23andMe Kit

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mattstaff
Feb 17, 2020 10:00 PM EST

This is one of those big TIFUs that sounds like it could be out of a movie. The fiancé in this scenario was blindsided by quite the revelation regarding his parents, thanks to a 23andMe kit. Hopefully they're able to work through the post-revelation with some grace. That's got to be a whole lot to digest. 

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  • 01
    Text - TIFU by asking my fiance for a 23 and Me kit for Christmas and accidentally blowing up his life. So I have always been into my family's genealogy. I keep a pretty detailed record of our family tree and enjoy tracing it back as far as I can. I have always wanted to try one of those DNA testing kits to see if there were any surprises in my genetic make-up, but could never justify the expense. Well after seeing me add and remove the kits to my cart on Amazon multiple times over the years my
    via u/Rozureido88
  • 02
    Text - Mine offered no surprises. 99.9% European. I am pure white bread, just as all my research had lead me to believe. Oh well, was still neat and the traits and health aspects of the report gave me something to read. My fiance's on the other hand... oh boy. We leave in Northern Ontario, Canada in an area with a very large Indigenous population of which he believed himself to be. His mother was European but his father is First Nations, with a very typical FN appearance; black hair, darker skin
    via u/Rozureido88
  • 03
    Text - Well his report said he was only 2% Native American and that his Native American DNA came from his mother. His dad is 75% Native American and 25% Swedish (or so we have always been told by his side of the family). My fiance's report contained no Swedish DNA. To make matters worse the part of the report that connects you with relatives suggested multiple people with a last name common in our town. Someone with that name is actually his godparent.
    via u/Rozureido88
  • 04
    Text - He kinda laughed it off when we first saw the report. Until last night when we had dinner with his sister and her husband, who like me is into genealogy. The topic of conversation turned to our results and he told them about the oddity on his. Immediately his sister drained of colour and proceeded to reveal to us that she had been told by her godmother (a close friend to their mother) years ago that my fiance wasn't actually his dad's kid. His sister has a different father as well (from a
    via u/Rozureido88
  • 05
    Text - was a reliable source in many ways. The man she had been told was actually my fiance's father has that same common name that showed up in the relative list. At this point my fiance starts freaking out. He's 34 years old and just been told that the many he has always known as his dad, wasn't actually his birth-father. He wanted some answers. Unfortunately his mother and his sister's godmother both passed away last year, so neither is able to provide any. They did however have a third frien
    via u/Rozureido88
  • 06
    Text - Now these two men haven't always had a great relationship, but they have made a lot of headway in the months since my fiance's mother passed away. He actually just signed over their house to us, and gave us his mom's fairly new truck. If the man does know my fiance isn't his son by birth he obviously does not care and sees him as his own. His name is on the birth certificate and he doesn't seem to hold any ill-will at all towards my fiance or his late wife.
    via u/Rozureido88
  • 07
    Text - My fiance is deeply hurt. He doesn't understand why this would have been kept from him. He is very upset that his parentage is apparently an open secret and is very curious to know who all in the family knew. He wants to talk to his dad (he has said no matter what the man that raised him will always be his dad), but I'm horribly worried that maybe the friend is wrong and he doesn't actually know and that the wonderful relationship they are finally building will come crashing down. I've co
    via u/Rozureido88
  • 08
    Text - A facebook search of his biological father has revealed two half siblings and some nieces and nephews all of whom live in our town and are within a few years of his age. He wants to approach them, but is unsure if that's the right thing to do. I know I am excited at the prospect of being an uncle. We're a MM couple who don't want kids of our own. I'm an only child and his maternal half-sister never had children so this is really the only chance we ever have to be uncles. I'm not sure if a
    via u/Rozureido88
  • 09
    Text - We're gonna take his mom's friend that he called out for lunch next week and try to get some more information. I feel so terrible that my Christmas gift has brought this information out in the open. Never in a million years thought that he's become one of those horror stories you hear about. If anything | thought I might as the first thing my mom told me when I told her we were doing the tests was "Don't be surprised if you're dad isn't actually your dad." That was information I already h
    via u/Rozureido88

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