Woman Reveals Her Most Cringe-worthy First Date At NFL Game
Finding love in this digital era is far from easy. With more websites and applications — in which we can essentially 'shop for people' — than we know what to do with, the influx leads to infinite choice, infinite possibility, and infinite encounters that are often so bizarre, they could be fictional. But by embracing the good, the bad, and the downright ugly of the online dating minefield, at least bad dates make great stories. Right?
Together with The Single Society, we are bringing you the hilarious, horrible, and awkward real-life stories from women currently navigating the world of online dating. When you're finished reading this shocking tale, check out our other true stories of modern dating debauchery.
Kevin and I were chatting via text after meeting on one of the apps for the better part of a month when he extended a spontaneous invitation to join him at a football game — the most cringeworthy first date ever.
Kevin was a seemingly well-mannered finance professional with a delightfully chiseled jawline and piercing blue eyes. He informed me he had tickets to the Jets game and his friend had bailed on him.
Knowing that I was brand new to the city and had no friends or acquaintances to speak of, he reached out to see if I would be interested in taking his friend's place albeit last-minute. Hey, why not?
Kevin and I met up at the train station when I immediately noticed that he added roughly three inches to his height listed on his profile and his hair was certainly 'saltier' than what I was expecting, but eh, I'd still do him he was relatively handsome nonetheless.
We settled into our seats on the crowded train en route to the stadium and Kevin pulled out a shiny flask of whiskey, and pressed it against his lips draining the contents down his throat.
Would have been nice if he offered me a swig, but whatevs.
Since I knew the stadium doesn't allow you to bring in any bags larger than a small clutch, all I had was a wristlet containing my phone, a credit card, my ID, and a lip gloss.
"Ok, you can just get the food/drinks then," he said.
"Daamnnnnn!" Kevin said. "Now you know why I picked these seats," he said with a creepy wink as we feasted his eyes on the bevy dancers gyrating their beautifully sculpted physiques to the music.
Every. F*cking. Time. The cheerleaders did something Kevin had something to say that was overtly sexual in nature or some sort of grotesque audible sound to express his carnal feelings.
"My ex-girlfriend actually cheered for the Miami Dolphins," he so graciously informed me.
We sat in silence watching the game for some time and Kevin suggested we get refills before the second half was over in order to avoid the crowds.
"Do you mind grabbing them?" He asked. "I don't want to miss the halftime performance."
I obliged for the sole purpose of not having to expose myself to his lewd remarks for the duration of the show. I returned with two frosty pints of Miller Light.
"Now you know why I picked these seats," Kevin said (again), his speech starting to slur.
The game was over and we made our way back to the train. It was completely packed but Kevin was (surprisingly) agile enough to quickly grab a seat despite there being a plethora of people that were clearly twice his age.
Kevin patted the palms of his hand on top of his thighs signaling for me to take a seat on his lap.
Yeah, no thanks, boo.
I told him I would just stand and he remained comfortably seated for the duration of the ride back to the city as I struggled to grab onto the pole and maintain my balance in a sea of sweaty armpits.
When we arrived at the city we bid farewell and went our separate ways.
The next day Kevin sent me a charming text-
"Hey- good times last night. Thanks for coming. Honestly, I am not looking for anything serious right now, but I think you're sexy as hell and would be open to something physical, though."
