My Dating Nightmare: Guy Was A Broke, Recovering Porn Addict

• I was scrolling through Hinge out of boredom...

  

  Whilst I should have been hard at work one afternoon I began casually scrolling through my unanswered (and most likely uninteresting) Hinge messages when one, in particular, caught my attention from a man named Grayson. Little did I know, I was about to embark upon the weirdest Hinge date ever.

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• Grayson booked in a date straight away. Score!

  

  "I'm not into this whole dating app thing. You seem very nice, so let me know if you would like to grab drinks, and we can decide if we like each other."

  WOW.

  No back and forth monotony? No attempt to be a penpal only to be inevitably ghosted?

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• I went to meet him at the bar

  

  How splendid, indeed!

  I accept.

  I walked up to a charming cafe/bar not far from my place of employment and found Grayson patiently awaiting my arrival.

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• He was cute and intelligent. It was all looking good so far...

  

  Grayson was marginally robust with a boyish grin and a slight gap between his incisors. Raised in Utah, he had recently relocated to begin his fledgling career in accounting after completing his MBA.

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• Conversation was flowing.

  

  Perhaps he was a few pounds heavier than advertised, but considering I am not exactly the poster child for fitness myself I decided to keep an open mind.

  We got to chatting about our dogs, the bothersome habits of our prospective roommates, and our mutual penchant for people watching.

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• Then it got interesting...

  

  I began to inquire about the timeline of his upbringing, education…life in general.

  Grayson informed me that he took a job at a firm subsequent to getting his undergraduate degree, but after completing his master's he was forced to take a bit of a hiatus.

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• Turns out he was a recovering porn addict.

  

  "Forced to take a hiatus?"

  Curious, I encouraged him to elaborate.

  Grayson then disclosed that he is a recovering pornography addict, and how his debilitating addiction to porn caused him to lose his job and ultimately ruin his life.

  Lovely!

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• Which had turned him into a compulsive liar.

  

  He explained how he would call in sick to work constantly, and was caught lying about having a serious medical condition because he was so obsessed with staying at home and watching porn.

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• The more he spoke the more speechless I was.

  

  Grayson continued (despite the abhorred look on my face) onto how he was kicked out of the apartment he shared with his ex-girlfriend because he was unable to engage in sexual activity without being completely fixated on his TV screen.

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• His porn addiction had ruined every aspect of his life. Wonderful.

  

  Not to mention his savings ran out, and he couldn't afford his portion of the rent.

  Finally, he spent a total of 2 months in a clinic being treated for sex addiction (with a relapse in between), and he is currently still in therapy to repair his ability to have a healthy relationship with sexual intimacy. 

  "Sorry, was that a little too much baggage for a first date?" He asked.

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• Oh. My. God.

  

  I thanked him for his honesty, finished my peach bellini, and awkwardly wrapped up the conversation before he bid me farewell.

  Grayson never asked to see me again, but most likely because he already knew the answer.

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