Twitter Thread: Woman Discovers Boyfriend Has A Kid

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mattstaff
Aug 23, 2020 1:00 PM EDT

Well, this conversation definitely took an unexpected turn. Can't imagine being in the room and in this couple's vicinity as they were talking through this. 

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  • 01
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley Follow @MARIADAHVANA Omg. The couple date beside me just took a turn. Her: You never told me you had a child! Him: He's little. Her: How little? Him: 12.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 02
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley Follow @MARIADAHVANA This is an established couple. They've been going out a while. He explains that he never told her about his kid because it's "complicated."
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 03
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley Follow @MARIADAHVANA Now he's explaining about how the mother of his child is crazy. Oh, the look on his girlfriend's face is stony right now.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 04
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley H.F. FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA Dude thinks he can casually eat his mussels now, but his girlfriend is not happy. Now he's explaining that his kid doesn't need a dad.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 05
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley K.f. FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA He says his kid will "work it out." And his girlfriend is like: "how. How did you decide not to mention that you have a child?"
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 06
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL Follow H.F @MARIADAHVANA Girlfriend is just shaking her head back and forth and saying nope. "Do you send money" she asks. I know the answer.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 07
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL Follow H.F. @MARIADAHVANA "That would just make it more complicated," he says. "It would confuse him. I mean, I was | 17 when he was born. I'm barely his dad."
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 08
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley Yo Follow @MARIADAHVANA Nope, nope, nope. Now it is the song of nope in this bar. He still thinks he can slowly eat his mussels and say they're tasty.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 09
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FAL Follow H.F. @MARIADAHVANA "Trust me," he says. "I'm a good guy." Girlfriend says "Why, then, do you live here and not in California where your son is?"
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 10
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA They've been going out for a year and he just tried to back channel pretend that she just forgot he had a kid.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 11
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA Because that's the kind of thing you forget. "Excuses," she says. "Weak, weak excuses."
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 12
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley Follow @MARIADAHVANA Him: Should we get another glass of wine?? This isn't that big a thing. It's complicated. Love is complicated. Her: WEAK.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 13
    Text - To AL Maria DahvanaHeadley Follow @MARIADAHVANA And suddenly the soundsystem goes full blast playing a Senegalese happy birthday for someone else. Whole restaurant has a dance break.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 14
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FAL Follow @MARIADAHVANA The whole restaurant had to have a dance break because the soundsystem went on blast for a birthday. Except them. They didn't dance.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 15
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA He just told her that she is "unexpectedly judgmental." "NOPE," she said. "Expectedly judgmental.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 16
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA "Well," she says. "Before you said that, I was going to tell you that my gay friend offered to marry me for citizenship, but I said no."
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 17
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley Follow @MARIADAHVANA "But now I think I can do whatever I want. Maybe l'm married right now and forgot to tell you.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 18
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FAL Follow @MARIADAHVANA He ordered dessert.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 19
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FAL Follow @MARIADAHVANA I'm gonna send this woman a drink.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 20
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FAL Follow @MARIADAHVANA "I mean, I was a junior in highschool. It's like it didn't happen," he is telling her. I am ordering her a drink.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 21
    Text - To FALL Maria DahvanaHeadley Follow @MARIADAHVANA Side bar: this guy's logic is why I regularly run in circles shouting about why the patriarchy is evil.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 22
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley Follow @MARIADAHVANA "It never felt like the right time to have his conversation," he says. She is just turning him to stone with a straight Medusa gaze.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 23
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA "I don't know why you brought this up," he tells her. "You did," she says. "You accidentally mentioned your child you'd never mentioned."
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 24
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA He is now listing the reasons he felt uncomfortable disclosing "intimate" things to her, such as the fact that he has a child he forgot.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 25
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA "Oh, now you're listing the reasons it's not your fault you have a 12 year old you abandoned? Are you? ARE YOU NOW?"
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 26
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL H.F. Follow @MARIADAHVANA This dude is 29 years old and he is trying to talk his way out of this using 5 year old tactics.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 27
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley H.E. FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA Her: "I don't judge you for having a child. I judge you for being a liar. As should be obvious. That's basic."
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 28
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA "I am thinking about a little kid in bed wondering where his dad is, and it turns out I'm looking at his dad. NO."
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 29
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA He just suggested she has PMS. Now maybe I'm going to come for him.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 30
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley H.F. FAL Follow @MARIADAHVANA Him: The way you're reacting? I'm just working so hard on myself and I feel like you don't respect that.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 31
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley H.F. FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA I mean, folks. I have the whole bar in front of me. Alcohol is antiseptic. If I break it over him, it's cool, right?
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 32
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA Because this badass woman who is a billion times better than this tool just hugged him.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 33
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL H.F. Follow @MARIADAHVANA He said some shit that convinced her she is the wrong one. He just explained how hard it is for men to have emotions.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 34
    Text - To FALL Maria DahvanaHeadley Follow H.F. @MARIADAHVANA The last time I got involved in a scenario like this - the guy asked my opinion while his date was in the bathroom -I almost punched a bro.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 35
    Text - Yo FaL Maria DahvanaHeadley Follow @MARIADAHVANA I still want to kill him. OMG. Now he is showing her pictures of his son snagged from Facebook.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 36
    Text - Tou ALL Maria DahvanaHeadley K.F. Follow @MARIADAHVANA She's decided to do this thing. I can only hope that it ends with her dumping him into a little pile of twigs and thorns.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 37
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FAL Follow @MARIADAHVANA Sometimes you choose to be with a ninnypawed toddler. It's her choice. We've all been there. But ohhhh I want her to fling him over the bar.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 38
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley FALL H.F. Follow @MARIADAHVANA Oh...she has remembered that he mentioned a "nephew or something" and her rage is back.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 39
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley Follow @MARIADAHVANA The bartender, who is a woman, and I have been discussing this disaster. Both of us threw fists of wrath in the air.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 40
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley H.F. Follow @MARIADAHVANA "He's not all that," says bartender. "He's none of that," says me. But the heroine of this story has left with him. II
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 41
    Text - Maria DahvanaHeadley H.F. FALL Follow @MARIADAHVANA Before she went, she said "I'm gonna need more drinks." Tomorrow, she will tell this to a friend who will say Hell No.
    via @MARIADAHVANA
  • 42
    Text - You FALL Maria DahvanaHeadley Follow @MARIADAHVANA I wrote her a note. I didn't give it to her. We all have to make mistakes. Maybe she will drop him tomorrow. Hi Casunt observee here Merthin his Kid?! Thuo thin Your dule "s A HK. You Ane way bette then Ire bean you Pot Will Net Rock, Kver. Mad be you how PASE Yani and be this sucks.
    via @MARIADAHVANA

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