Guys All Women Encounter When Backpacking

• The Bob Marley

  

  If you're meeting Bob Marley on his travels, you're meeting him while he's truly living his best life. It's just him and his Birkenstocks taking on the world, far, far away from the constraints of SoCIetY. Here is where his creative genius can flourish, fueled by nature, empanadas, a guitar he barely knows how to play, unfinished poetry, and joints.

  Soon enough you'll realize he's just a poser in a beanie who preaches free love so he could get in your pants. You'll stick around anyway for the free weed.

  
  

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• The Lost Boy

  

  The Lost Boy left home for his backpacking journey months ago, and before he knew it, months turned into years. Much like Forrest Gump, he's not sure why he started running or what he was running from in the first place, but he hasn't stopped running since. For The Lost Boy, backpacking isn't temporary; it's a lifestyle.

  Whether it be through hitch-hiking, bussing, bicycling, trekking, or unicycling, the Lost Boy's main goal is to just keep moving.

  
  

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• The Debbie Downer

  

  He's backpacking to escape whatever emotional baggage he left back home, but it's clear that he's still carrying it in his backpack where ever he goes.

  Every conversation you two share is about what he's been through, and how his dark past follows him to this day. Even at a hostel toga party, he's yelling over the music to tell you about his dead dog. Like, I'm so sorry, but I'm just trying to throw back some drinks before the hostel's Happy Hour ends.

  The dark, brooding look and sensitivity is sexy. But if he's consistently interrupting a steamy hook-up to cry about how his 7th-grade ex-girlfriend kissed his best friend on the cheek and thus left him with trust issues for life, then Houston, we have a problem.

  
  

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• The Dude on Drugs

  

  Not just weed. The hardest drugs. And he wants everyone else around him to be on hard drugs too. He can't stop talking about that time he was on E at Mysteryland, an absolutely life-changing experience where he discovered that Morgan Freeman is actually the Messiah and made friends for life. He starts every night through the following proclamation: Yeah, let's f*cking rage!

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• The Drunk Brit Sh*tshow

  

  I can't even count the number of young British Party Bois I've met while backpacking. They're generally on their gap year, fresh out of high school, so you already know they're full of youthful energy.

  Their favorite thing to do under the influence? Completely exposing themselves in public.

  In one hostel's Happy Hour Spin the Wheel game, one of the dares was dancing on the bar, and this kid took it to a whole 'nother level with a striptease. An hour later, he was still walking around butt-ass naked. We had a run-in with another one at another hostel. A Draco Malfoy look alike went from sipping a beer at the bar to suddenly ripping all his clothes off while shouting threats to the other male clientele. Security chased him around the hostel grounds until he jumped onto a floatie in the pool and lay there in the nude until they managed to fish him out.

  
  

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• The Israeli Bro

  

  If you thought Drunk Brits are difficult to escape, get ready for the tsunami of Israeli Bros.

  If you're meeting them at the beginning of their trip, god bless! They probably spent the last year working to fund this trip, and working out in between shifts, which means they're still crazy ripped! Their bodies are in their absolute prime. Unfortunately,  I cannot guarantee that they'll stay in shape over the course of their trip - there's endless amounts of food to try.

  They try to come off as manly studs at first, bragging about how bad-ass they were back in the day. Don't let their tough facade fool you - they're softies on the inside.

  Once he uses a romantic expression in Hebrew on you (and there are many), you'll be head over heels.

  
  

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• The Local Guy

  

  The Local Guy is an amazing way to dive right into the authentic culture of the country you're backpacking in. He's the one guy you'll meet who will gladly take you to all the best, non-touristy spots in town. The catch? Depending on the country you're in, he might not speak English.

  We were in a room with two cute local guys at a hostel in Lima, Peru, where the locals generally have great English. However, these Chilean guys didn't speak a word.  I tried communicating with them with my very broken high-school Spanish but to no avail. We spent the rest of the night playing Jenga at the bar because it doesn't require language skills.

  
  

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• The Guy with A Girlfriend

  

  You've been exchanging life stories for the past hour, and you're really feeling the chemistry between the two of you. Suddenly, he whips out four words that stop you in your tracks:

  "My girlfriend back home."

  Wait, hold up. Your what now? You were going to elope to Greece together and have three perfect multicultural children and become an Insta-famous travel family.

  He asks, "We could still be friends though, right?"

  Your response: "I think the f*ck not."

  
  

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• The Perfect Guy You Keep Missing

  

  The second you met, you had an instant connection. He's everything The Guy with a Girlfriend is, except he doesn't have a girlfriend!

  You met him on one of your first treks, and even though you were a sweaty hot mess who cried and complained the entire time, he cheered you on till the finish line and wasn't even turned off when you threw up in the bushes because you drank too much the night before.

  Alas, you discover that you're moving onto the next destination way before he is. The two of you figure it's no big deal.

  You couldn't be more wrong. From this point forward, you'll be missing each other by one week for the rest of eternity. Your virtual banter will continue... until the day you die.

  
  

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• The Love Triangle

  

  
  

  Granted, this one's two guys. Picture this: best friends from home that are taking on the world together. They're both into you. And they're both so damn cute that you can't decide between the two… so why not both?

  What happens abroad stays abroad. You can have your cake, and eat it too. Insert more cliche phrases encouraging you to have a threesome with two sexy foreigners here.

  
  

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