This Week's Top Celebrity News: A Satirical Roundup (November 23, 2020)

  • Meghan Trainor, and Daryl Sabara are expecting their first child - that's the last time they're having sex for a while.


    Meghan Trainor, who is expecting her first child with Daryl Sabara, said she is not having sex with her husband while pregnant because she can't get over the fact that their son is between them. Wait until Daryl finds out he's also not getting any after the newborn arrives.

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  • Kate Middleton plans to modernize the Royal family. Watch this space!


    Kate Middleton said she plans to change some of the 'outdated royal rules' when she becomes Queen. It'll be interesting to see what she'll think is 'outdated' when she's 100 years old and finally gets to be Queen.

  • Congratulations to Michael B. Jordan, who is officially the sexiest man alive.

    Muscle - People SEXIEST МAN ALIVE! 20 2 0

    Michael B. Jordan was named People's 2020 Sexiest Man Alive. His proud mother hopes this title helps him find a good wife and not just some bow-chick-a-wow-wow.

  • Megan Fox and MGK have life-changing sex

    Red - Security Benefit abc oductions 199 dcp dick clark productions Securit- Benefit ductions

    Megan Fox got romantic this week and said that loving MGK is like being in love with a tsunami or a forest fire. "The intensity of merging with him is just overwhelming, and the threat it poses is so powerful but so beautiful that you have no choice to surrender with reverence and with gratitude." That's just a fancy way of saying he's amazing in bed.

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  • Justin Bieber writes romantic Instagram post for Hailey Baldwin’s 24th birthday.


    It was Hailey Baldwin's 24th birthday and her hubby Justin Bieber romantically wrote on Instagram, "My eyes are 4 you. My heart is 4 you. My soul is 4 you". It's all so romantic… as long as he doesn't start chopping things off.


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