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This Week's Top Celebrity News: A Satirical Roundup (November 16, 2020)

  • 1. Harry Styles is first man to land solo cover of Vogue. Finally, white men getting the recognition they deserve.

    Nose - CUE DEC "ANYTIME YOU'RE PUTTING BARRIERS UP IN YOUR LIFE, YOU'RE LIMITING YOURSELF"

    Harry Styles made history this week by becoming the first man to land a solo cover of Vogue. It's a victory for white men everywhere. Proud to see that group moving up in this world.

  • 2. Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis are no longer. Sad face!

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    Olivia Wilde and Jason Sudeikis called off their engagement. After 9 years together and two kids, the two actors realized that getting married isn't really what they want after all.

  • 3. Ryan Reynolds 'embraces' being a father to three girls.

    People - CHINE THEATE DEN VE CK CAR

    Ryan Reynolds apparently loves being a "Girl Dad". The famous actor was recently asked what it's like to be a dad to three daughters and…. well, what was he supposed to say? It's not like he can say he hates it.

  • 4. Prince Charles is still alive. Do The Royal family ever die?!

    Event

    Prince Charles turned 72 years old on Saturday. It was reported that he was in good spirits and that yes, he still hopes to become king before he drops dead.

  • 5. Katie Holmes' friends express concern about her latest fast-moving relationship.

    Photograph

    Katie Holmes' friends are concerned that her relationship with Emilio Vitolo Jr. is moving too fast. At what pace do these good people think a 41-year-old woman should move when she finds a man she likes?

  • 6. Prince Harry uses new-found freedom in the most surprising of ways.

    White-collar worker

    Prince Harry made a surprising appearance on a British dancing show. The Duke of Sussex virtually appeared on the show in support of his friend, JJ Chalmers. Glad to see he's been using his newfound freedom from the royal family wisely.

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Mock Diaries is a fictional news website that comments on and parodies celebrity life. It won't get you more informed, but who reads celebrity news to get informed anyway? Find more of their content at mockdiaries.com.

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