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01
Friends With Benefits
Depending on your age bracket, this could mean casual sex, casual exchanges of nudes, or casual kisses under the bleachers. Basically, you're attracted to each other, but don't want to deal with all that clingy relationship mumbo jumbo.
Unless you are either Mila Kunis, Justin Timberlake, Ashton Kutcher, or Natalie Portman, (anyone else remember when they literally came out with the exact same movie?) this usually does not work out very well. Yep, one person will catch the feels. Let's be honest though, those 'feels' didn't suddenly appear out of nowhere.
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02
Friends With Benefits – But Without Benefits
Basically, just friends… but like sometimes you think about it. ;)
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03
The Booty Call
If you're not sure whether you've ever been involved in one of these, here are two words that might jog your memory, "U Up?"
Their name in your phone was probably DO NOT TEXT, and you might have made a fake Instagram to watch their stories without leaving evidence. There is definitely power in honoring your sexual cravings, just please protect your heart, as well as your coochie.
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04
The Tinder-Soul Mates That Refuse to Meet IRL
You both agree that you just HATE dating apps, so awkward am I right? You talk to each other almost everyday though, and suddenly you've come to realize than you trust them more than any of your IRL friends. OOPS.
However, you've talked for so long over the app that there's too high of expectations to ever really meet them. Some things are best kept in your back pocket.
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05
The One Who is Literally Already in a Relationship
Yep you heard me right. They message you on insta, and immediately start sweet talking you. You see you have no mutual friends, but you're intrigued. You look at their page, OMG they're cute! How are they single? You talk and talk, but there's not initiation on their end to meet up. Maybe they're just shy? You finally build up the courage invite them for something and they hit you with the, "Oh, I would totally date you… If I was single."
Awesome!
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06
The One Who is Literally Already in a Relationship – But They Could 'Literally' Care Less
Yes, their profile picture is them and their high school sweetheart. Yes, they won best couple in the yearbook, and prom king and queen (two years in a row obviously). Yes, they agreed on long distance, it was a hard decision but some things are worth fighting for!
Anyway, they still ask you to hang out multiple times a week, and don't bother to cover the photos they have of their significant other sitting on their nightstand. Classy.
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07
The One You're Hiding
Yes, they're a moron. They say really offensive things to your friends, and everyone agrees that they're just gross. But… idk something about them.
They're so embarrassing, but you can't help but linger around at parties with them until everyone has left and then you can finally enjoy their off-putting charm, guilt free.
Don't forget to delete the secret text conversations, and change their name in your phone.
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08
The One Hiding You
Clearly, this a double standard but…This one hurts.
You thought it was a mutual agreement to keep it all a secret but now you're like, "Sh*t, what's wrong with me?"
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09
The Rebound
You were lonely. They were there. Things happened. It iz what it iz.
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10
The Placeholder
You know this is not going anywhere. You know they aren't marriage material. You say potato, they say I don't believe in deodorant.
Whatever it is, they make your ex-jealous and you do the same for them. More of a business agreement if you ask me.
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11
“We Love Each Other But Neither of us Will Say it Out Loud"
You are literally made for each other. You are so similar, and compatible, and everyone else is just waiting for you to figure that out.
The only thing that holds you back from getting together is literally yourselves. You are both trying to play it cool… and you are so committed to the act that neither of you knows if the other is remotely interested.
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12
“We’re Talking”
Honestly this one can be very confusing. But it means exactly what you think it does. When people are 'talking' it means they're getting to know each other… by talking. It sounds silly but it's very useful. You're not going on dates - so you're not dating, and you're not doing the nasty either - so you're not hooking up. You're talking.
Be wary though, if this phase lasts too long that may be the extent of it.
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13
The open relationship
Ok so… you're together. You want the label, but not the commitment. In my experience I've seen this one is most commonly used in long distance relationships.
You agree, "when we're together we're together, and when we're not… well please don't get gonorrhea."
Not recommended for people with trust issues.
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14
The Exclusive Hookup
You like each other, you're doing bits, and you've committed to only doing such bits with each other.
Of all of the relationships this one might be the funniest to me. Like you clearly like each other and you would be hurt if they got with anymore else. But if someone accidentally refers to them as your bf/gf, you're like, "Woah woah woah buddy, chill out with the labels."
Lol why are you so scared of the D? (Dating of course)
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15
Finally. Daaaating.
There's no going back from here, not without a fight. You're exclusive, you've committed, you're into each other and you BOTH know it. You're about to start farting in front of each other, and there will be more flexing during sex. Sounds boring to me.
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JK, I'm re-downloading Bumble as we speak.
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