Homeowner backtracks on promise to host pregnant sister's baby shower when she keeps adding strangers to the guest list, turning a small gathering into a 40 person event: 'I didn't sign up to host something this big'

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Aug 3, 2025 2:00 PM EDT

In a group of friends or close relatives, one person's home tends to become the go-to hangout spot. Maybe they happen to live in the most convenient location for everyone, or maybe they have an amazing layout that was just made for hosting. Some people that love throwing parties, summer potlucks, or DnD campaigns with a big group look for this sort of thing when they're house hunting; others end up stuck as the hosting house somewhat against their will.
Today, we examine a tale of two sisters. One has agreed to host a baby shower for the other. She has the perfect home for the small, 15 person gathering that was pitched to her. However, as the date of the event draws near, the pregnant sister starts inviting more and more people, and it's starting to look a lot less manageable for our protagonist. 

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  • 01

    WIBTA if I told my sister she can't have her baby shower at my house anymore because she keeps inviting people without asking

    Cheezburger Image 10537858304
    via Jacob Lund
  • 02
    My sister is pregnant with her first kid. When she started talking about having a baby shower, I offered to host it at my place. I've got the space,
    via u/pepperdotdrift
  • 03
    she doesn't, and I figured it would be a nice way to help out. She told me it would be a small thing with about 15
    via u/pepperdotdrift
  • 04
    people. I was totally fine with that. I started planning for food, chairs, space, and all that.
    via u/pepperdotdrift
  • 05
    Cheezburger Image 10537859072
    via StefaNikolic from Getty Images Signature
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    But over the last couple of weeks, she's been texting me with more and more names. Friends from high school, coworkers, people from her
    via u/pepperdotdrift
  • 07
    boyfriend's family. It's up to around 40 now. Most of them I don't even know. She never asks if it's okay, just keeps saying it'll be fine and we'll make it work.
    via u/pepperdotdrift
  • 08
    I tried bringing it up and told her my house really isn't built for that many people. She brushed it off and said I
    via u/pepperdotdrift
  • 09
    was overthinking it. I told her straight up that if she keeps adding people without checking, I might not be able to host it at all.
    via u/pepperdotdrift

  • Even if our protagonist's sister didn't actually expect every person that she invited to show up, it's pretty impolite to invite people to a home that isn't even yours without the host's permission. 

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    via KristinaJovanovic from Getty Images
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    She got upset and said I was being selfish and making her feel like a burden. Now our mom is telling me to just s k it up and be flexible.
    via u/pepperdotdrift
  • 12
    But honestly, I'm already paying for most of the food and doing all the setup. I didn't sign up to host
    via u/pepperdotdrift
  • 13
    something this big. I feel like she's taking advantage and just assuming I'll deal with whatever she wants.
    via u/pepperdotdrift
  • 14
    WIBTA if I told her she needs to find a new place for the shower?
    via u/pepperdotdrift

  • Forty people is basically a small wedding, which requires catering and months of planning. It's not the same at all as a small, intimate gathering. 

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    via pixelshot
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    Chilling_Storm IF you have had several conversations with her about it and told her that you can't host that many - then you will NBTA for cancelling the event. You
    via u/Chilling_Storm
  • 17
    will NOT be selfish. Tell Mom to pony up the money and rent a room at a restaurant and stop sticking her nose
    via u/Chilling_Storm
  • 18
    restaurant and stop sticking her nose into it. Your sister is 100% taking advantage of you and your hospitality and it sounds more like a gift grab than a shower.
    via u/Chilling_Storm
  • 19
    vabirder Tell sister and mother to find a new venue with parking and restroom facilities, because otherwise you are forced to cancel.
    via u/vabirder
  • 20
    Tell them to try a church. No argument: there is no way you can accommodate 40 plus guests. None whatsoever and they are the problem. Not you. Next thing they'll want is an open bar and a DJ.
    via u/vabirder
  • 21
    Necessary_Sir_5079 40 people? Do you live in a mansion?
    via u/Necessary_Sir_5079
  • 22
    Shadow4summer Our home is pretty big and could probably fit 40 guests. But these people would have to be friends of mine or my husband. The thought of having 40 strangers in my home just
    via u/Shadow4summer
  • 23
    makes cringe. The thought of strangers rummaging through my things just bothers me so much. Cancel it but be prepared for the backlash, because mom and sister are overentitled
    via u/Shadow4summer
  • 24
    Ok Positive_1267 I would not allow that many people inside my house. I'd host it outside to be honest. Tell mom to anty up her wallet and time to help facilitate. Good luck.
    via u/Ok_Positive_1267
  • 25
    mocha_lattes_ Tell her she needs to cover the cost for the food now for catering because you agreed to host 15 people, not 40. You can not afford to host that many.
    via u/mocha_lattes_
  • 26
    If she adds anymore people then you will call off the entire shower. If your mom complains then volunteer her to host it. Let everyone know your mom is taking over hosting the shower. Do nothing else. NTA
    via u/mocha_lattes_
  • 27
    Cultural-Revenue4000 Mom, I agreed to host and pay for 15 people. If you want to cohost and pay for everyone over 15 AND promise not to leave me with all cleaning responsibilities, let's chat about it. But if not, you host it if it isn't a problem.
    via u/Cultural-Revenue4000
  • 28
    lostdoggclt NTA. Food for 40 does not cost the same as food for 15.
    via u/lostdoggclt

Tags

relationship advice family drama baby sisters siblings relationships couples family pregnant sister baby shower entitled people
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