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This woman sounds like a classic narcissist, which is never good news when it comes to your mother-in-law. She'll make it all about her, and you can never win. Also, she'll call you a "vessel," so if that's not enough to turn you off, I don't know what is.
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There's nothing more awkward than promising your girlfriend's father that you'll use protection when you have sex with her, on your way to having sex with her. In his house. Oh, wait, there is. When you've finished having sex and he offers you a hot tamale and tells you to stay away from his daughter because she's crazy. Yep, that's weirder.
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