People Confess How They Got Their One-Night Stand To Leave

• 01

  When being an ER doctor has its perks

  
  via Giphy

  I am an ER doctor. I took a girl home one night. I made her breakfast the next morning and by noon she was still on my couch just watching Netflix. She told me she was going to take a nap and didn't seem to have any intention of leaving anytime soon. I set an alarm on my phone and pretended it was the hospital saying I needed to come in for an emergency.  I quickly put my scrubs on and called her an Uber. Right after she left I was back in my sweatpants.

• 02

  When you have to pay $86 for his Uber home

  
  via Giphy

  After I hooked up with a guy I met the night before he was still laying in my bed at one PM. I texted my friend and told her to call me and tell me she needed me to pick her up because her car broke down. He asked me if I could take him home…he lived an hour away apparently. I told him he lived in the opposite direction and that he should call an Uber. He told me he didn't have Uber so I had to pay $86 to send this fucker home.

  
  

• 03

  When you get your family involved in your escape plan

  
  via Giphy

  I had a one-night stand and this girl wouldn't leave. I told my brother to call my cell and tell me something happened with our mom and I needed to get over to the hospital immediately. I quickly got dressed and her Lyft driver was still 9 minutes away. I literally went out to my car and pulled out of the driveway as she was getting into the cab. I pulled out of my driveway, did a loop, and pulled right back into the garage.

  
  

• 04

  When you pretend your dad is coming over

  
  via Giphy

  At three in the afternoon, this guy I took home would not f*cking leave. I set an alarm on my phone to make it ring and pretended I was talking to my dad. When I hung up I said, "Oh, my dad is coming over and he's a few blocks away." Worked like a charm. And that is how I got rid of my one-night stand!

• 05

  When you have to explain that your house isn't a hostel

  
  via Giphy

  Around two o'clock this guy I brought home was still watching TV in my bed. I asked him when he planned on going home. He said he planned on just staying until he had to meet his friends later for dinner because he lived 45 minutes outside the city and didn't want to Uber home just to come all the way back. He also asked if he could shower and wash his clothes at my place. I just told him this wasn't a hostel and he needed to leave.

  
  

• 06

  When they force you to be not-so-subtle

  
  via Giphy

  This guy was STILL laying in my bed three hours after we woke up. "So….what do you have going on today?" I asked. He told me he had nothing to do whatsoever. "OK, well you should probably do nothing somewhere else." Subtle.

• 07

  When you have to literally invent friends to get him to leave

  
  via Giphy

  I told this guy I slept with that I had to go out and meet a friend (even though I had no plans whatsoever) because he wouldn't leave. He said he would walk with me to wherever I needed to go. I walked one block away and stopped at a random building. "OK, this is me!" I said. I then walked into the building and waited two minutes and walked back to my place.

• 08

  When you have to pretend you have a girlfriend to get her outta your house

  
  via Giphy

  I met a girl one night at a bar and took her home with me. She didn't seem to be in a hurry to go anywhere so I told her we should grab coffee and breakfast sandwiches as a way to get her out. I went to the gym and figured she would be gone when I got back. NOPE. She was watching TV. Finally, I told her that she would have to go because I actually had a girlfriend and she was coming over soon. She called me an asshole and left. I didn't have a girlfriend.

  
  

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