17-year-old blamed for mom and stepdad not having bio child together, he warns them he'll move out if they don't treat him better: 'It's not on me to make up for them having a kid together'

Author image for Molly Vincent
Molly Vincent
Aug 14, 2025 1:00 PM EDT

Having children isn't always a given for some couples, it can be a point of contention throughout the entirety of their relationship. In the story below, the protagonist is a 17-year-old guy who lost his father when he was a child. His mother remarried shortly after, and he's grown up most of his life with his stepfather. For anyone who's well-versed in stepparents, you know that the title or time spent together doesn't equate to something meaningful or eternal. Lots of people don't consider their stepparent a real "parent," and the nomenclature becomes an echo of their feelings for the person, despite not meaning any harm. 

Not only does he have a strained relationship with his stepfather, but his mom and stepdad put a lot of tacit pressure on his existence in a way, due to their inability to biologically have children together. This isn't fair to him, nor can he do anything about it. I've never experienced anything on either side of this dynamic, but enjoy the full story below. 

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  • 01

    AITA for threatening to move out ASAP if my mom and stepfather can't stop putting it on me to make up for them not having a kid together?

    Young man and woman in therapy.
    via dragana991 from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 02
    I'll (17M) follow through if I have to. This isn't a threat I'm making that I can't or won't follow through on. I just wanted to put that out there now.
    via u/Riyllezzo

  • Family therapy is a great idea for this type of scenario, mixing of family members that aren't stringently biological can be stressful for anyone, especially a teenager who isn't equipped to handle deep emotional pain and cope with it in a healthy way. 

  • 03
    Here's the deal. I lost my dad when I was 6 and mom remarried when I was 9. My stepfather and mom wanted to have kids
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 04
    together and couldn't. He took it hard(er) than mom because she had me but he didn't really. Like yeah he was helping mom raise me but I didn't see him as my
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 05
    second dad and he didn't care until he realized he couldn't have kids. Or at least he didn't act like he cared until bio kids were no longer possible.
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 06
    After the no kid thing he was more interested. He volunteered to coach my soccer team, got involved with my school and volunteered to go on class trips,
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 07
    and he would come up with stuff for us to do together. This was all happening like 3 years after they got married so it's not like it was immediate.
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 08
    We also did family therapy as a group of the three of us and there was talk about how we could be a better family and what would make us happy. My
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 09
    stepfather said it would make him happy to know I loved him and saw him as my second dad. Mom said it would make her happy to know I felt like I had two parents
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 10
    and not just one and that I felt good having two dads. But I said I only had one dad and I was okay with my stepfather but didn't want him to be my second dad.
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 11
    Couple holding hands.
    via Prostock-Studio from Getty Images / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 12
    A few times mom would ask for sessions of just me and her and she'd say nobody wanted me to forget or replace dad and she hadn't either. She said it was just
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 13
    about making sure I wasn't losing out on another great dad because I felt I could only be loyal to one. She also said how much more complete our family would
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 14
    be if those were the relationships we had with each other. The therapist asked what could be done for us to get to where mom and my stepfather wanted and I
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 15
    said nothing. She asked why and I said I don't want to work on being like that with him. Then she'd ask mom if that was something she needed help
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 16
    accepting and mom would say she was still hoping to open me up to something different.
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 17
    They tried again to see if they could have that kid together and that failed. They let up on me for the 18 months they were focused
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 18
    on that. Mom talked to me about everything still and I told her I was still feeling the same.
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 19
    Only after the last attempts failed things changed. My stepfather was always unhappy, kinda depr_sed and he'd act like I was doing something wrong by
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 20
    Man and woman in therapy together.
    via Helgy / Canva

    This image is for illustration only, and the subjects are models; the image does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 21
    existing. Then he'd ask me if it made me happy to know I shall over him and I was like what the h I. But he said he felt like it made me happy to know dad
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 22
    could give mom a kid but not him. And that I liked rubbing it in his face that I was only mom's and he'd never get to have the experience. A bunch of times he
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 23
    just got mad at dinner and stormed off. I didn't have to open my mouth and neither did mom.
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 24
    I've rolled my eyes over all this a buuuunch and I've locked myself in my room a lot to get away from this crop too. And then they sat me down a couple of weeks
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 25
    ago and told me they want us to try family therapy again and they want us all to commit to becoming a family. They said that includes me. They want me to
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 26
    give it a real chance and to do what the therapist suggests. I was told it would help them feel like they didn't miss out on having a
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 27
    kid together and being parents together because it's hard for him to feel like a parent when I don't think of him as one of mine. I didn't like it being put on me so strongly and that's why I made
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 28
    the threat. My mom got really upset and she asked me if I'd really move out instead of trying to make things work and I said yeah because it's not on me to make up for them not having a
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 29
    kid together and they never should have tried but they keep trying and it's been years. My stepfather just got pred and stormed off again.
    via u/Riyllezzo
  • 30
    And it's been weird ever since. Mom looks like she could cry from just looking at me most days. AITA?
    via u/Riyllezzo

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