CheezCake

Medical Professionals Reveal Ridiculous Baby Names They Tried to Talk Parents Out Of

  • 1
    Font - My ex-husband didn't think it was fair that girls could be names "Grace" or "Hope" etc and seriously suggested "Pestilence" "War" or "Plague" for a boy. His choice for a girl was "Tangerine". Fortunately, we never had any children.

    The name "War" could be cool if the baby had a twin named "Peace," but that's my own personal opinion. Perhaps it's better that this couple remained child-free if this was the direction that the kids were going in. 

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  • 2
    Font - not a nurse, but as a med student a patient wanted to name her child mudpiles. The nurses silently protested and waited a few days. Mom changed her mind.

    What kinda hippie bullsh*t is the name mudpiles?! The mom changed her mind, but it sounds like she has terrible taste either way, and suggests that the baby was possibly named something even worse. 

  • 3
    Font - My classmates mother was a maternity nurse and she has a couple who wanted to name their son "Collin" but wanted to give him a "unique" spelling for it. (I do not understand why parents do this. It doesn't make a boring name more interesting all it does is set your child up for lifelong inconvenience.) They spelled it out for her to put on the birth certificate C-O-L-O-N. They tried to name their son colon. As in, the organ attached to your anus.
  • 4
    Font - And here my mom was talked out of naming me Violet. "Sounds like an old lady" they said.
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  • 5
    Facial expression - I have a false leg. My parents had to be talked out of calling me 'Peggy' by the midwife.
  • 6
    Font - I once had a student named Linoleum. Some midwife dropped the ball on that one. My brother wanted to name our soon-to-be younger brother Corn Peas and our parents almost went with it because they felt bad about asking for his input and then rejecting it.
  • 7
    Font - I worked at a registrar for a while and among the birth certificates I got some of the standouts i saw were: Killer, Syphilis and Sweet Prayer Sunrise
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  • 8
    Font - My boyfriend was nearly called eggbert... But predominantly egg for short. Glad they decided against it!
  • 9
    Font - Not in the medical field, but a teacher. There are certain names that each teacher avoids because we've had a student (or seven) with that name who were difficult in one way or another. One year, there were four Dylans in the same cohort and they were all hell on wheels. One of the teachers at that grade level had a baby with his wife that spring, and she named the kid Dylan. The rest of us were like, "didn't you vehemently veto that?" He just shrugged and said it was important to her and

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About the Author

Abby is a wandering soul who is incapable of staying in one place for too long. Her passions include travel, dance, karaoke, meditation, and cheesy fries. When she's not clacking away at her laptop and talking shit on the internet, you can find her tearing up the dance floor on a night out on the town.

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