What To Order After Being Dumped Over Text By A Grade A Dweeb

• 01

  A Sassy Tumbler

  
  via Simple Elements

  First things first, remind yourself how you literally don't give a sh*t by finessing yourself this Tumbelr from SIMPLE ELEMANTS. Even bring it to work if you need to. Make your message clear.

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• 02

  Fun New Decor

  
  via Morndew

  While you throw out all of their sh*t. You might as well celebrate your new status by redecorating. Yes, this Morndew banner is cheesy. But you should get this and throw a damn party now that that dweeb is out of your life.

• 03

  An Appropriate Mask

  
  via LAIPUTER

  It may not be clear that you don't want people to f*ck with you since we're all in masks these days. Grab this one from LAIPUTER, and they'll definitely get the message.

• 04

  A Powerful Electric File

  
  via FOLAI

  Literally, who doesn't want an acrylic nail kit? This is the perfect time to get back into your nail game using FOLAI equipment, and maybe even file your nails into sharp points in case that dweeb ever decides to stop by. Who needs a taser when you have 10 little weapons on your hands?

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• 05

  A Polaroid Camera

  
  via Fujifilm

  Also, another thing you probably thought about getting before anyway. Bring this Fujifilm polaroid out with you instead of your phone so you're not tempted to text the dweeb or check his dweeb-ish Insta story. Rather, enjoy the night and capture a few fun moments.

• 06

  A Motivating Water Bottle

  
  via SANKUU

  Homegirl, you know it's always important to hydrate. But with this SANKUU water bottle you get both proper hydrations to keep your skin clear and sexy, AND positive reinforcement! Self-love is important, you might as well carry it around with you everywhere.

• 07

  Protein Powder

  
  via Scivation

  I know we usually opt for a good old Ben & Jerry's tub of ice cream after a breakup, but why not use this time to get GAINS? Imagine having ripped arms, and sharp a$$ nails the next time someone tries to disrespect you.

  Actually, though I would have recommended ice cream, but I don't know if you should order that online. This Scivation protein definitely hits regardless.

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• 08

  This Brush/Blow-dryer Combo

  
  via REVLON

  Another thing you should just get anyway. I don't know why this REVLON blow-dryer is so good at making people look like solid 15/10's, but let's not question it. Let's just get hotter.

• 09

  A Bullet Blender

  
  via Jusseion

  Hey, now that you have that protein powder. You can throw it into this personal blender from Jusseion. You can use this thing to make so many things. Smoothies, milkshakes, pancake batter, a poisonous potion.

  Wait, what? Haha, just kidding of course.

• 10

  Smexy PJ's

  
  via Ekouaer

  It's time ladies. It's time to invest in our sleepwear. I know we don't want to. I know we can't let go of all those ratty t-shirts from college. But I swear to you feeling put together and sexy at night is a whole mood. I would recommend these from Ekouaer.

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• 11

  Smexy PJ's For My Plus Size Queens

  
  via Ella Lust

  I'll say it again, self-love is everything! All my lucky plus-size sisters out there have a little more to love, and this Ella Lust set is sure to hug those curves.

  Also, who says you can't wear see-through shorts when you're sleeping on your own? You should feel hot always!

• 12

  Oh, how did this get here?

  
  via Luna

  I think this one speaks for herself.

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