Woman Refuses To Share Family Recipes With Her Nephews' New Step-Mom

Being married into a family is always difficult. But it is even harder when your new spouse has already been married and everyone prefers or rather misses, their old wife. There are little things a family can do to make someone feel included, like invite them to events, include them in the yearly Christmas card, or give them the secret family recipes. But sometimes family members get protective, especially when a new person enters the scene with no blood relation.

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  • 01
    Rectangle - r/AmltheAsshole u/regrenege · 8d + Join 1 2 2 1 e 2 3 2 1 1 1 AITA for telling my two nephews stepmom that she's not part of the family so doesn't get the recipes? Asshole
    via u/regrenege

    This woman is asking other Redditors if she is the A-hole because she refuses to share family recipes with her nephew's new step-mom. Right off the bat you can tell there must be some serious backstory behind this. 

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  • 02
    Font - My nephews (21m and 19m) have had Ellen as their stepmom since they were 9 and 11 respectively. My sister died a year before their dad married Ellen and before her death she had shared two family recipes that were passed down in our family (from our great grandmother originally). It's two. A cake recipe and a sauce for lasagne. The idea is it's something special our family can cook for each other and others but we don't share how to make them. When Ellen first married the boys dad she ask
    via u/regrenege

    u/regrenege starts off by introducing her family members. She shares that she is neither related to her nephews' father or stepmother. Her sister was their mother and she passed away years ago. There appears to be no issues with Ellen, except for the fact that she wants the family recipe.

  • 03
    Font - She asked my two brothers then too. She asked the boys. Everyone said no. The consensus was she wasn't part of our family so why would we share it with her. She asked me a couple of times too. But after my mom died three years ago she told me she had been part of our family through the boys for long enough to be deserving of it. But I denied the request.
    via u/regrenege
  • 04
    Plant - For us, she's not our family. We appreciate that she has been part of the boys lives and helped raise them but she's no more family to us than any other acquaintance. So there's respect but no love or anything like that.
    via u/regrenege
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  • 05
    Font - Anyway, my older nephew had a baby girl with his fiancée late last year. Last month they had a small party to celebrate her arrival with close family and friends. Ellen asked him for the recipe so she could make the cake and he said no. She then asked me, saying she wanted to make the family cake and wanted to be the one to do it. I told her no again. She asked me why. I told her my decision didn't need to be explained. After the party she called me again and told me I was a horrible, shi
    via u/regrenege
  • 06
    Font - I only feel bad because it seems like she is very upset. And I know gatekeeping seems like a dick thing but this is mostly just fun for us, to keep between us and our family, and she's not part of our family. My nephews are free to share if they want but my siblings and I, our mom, she was never family to us. But it has led to a lot of hurt feelings and anger now and I have been called out personally by her. So the question. ΑΙΤΑ?
    via u/regrenege
  • 07

    Contrary to the marking on the post, most responses deemed her to NOT be the A-hole

    Font - cyounes · 8d NTA. Family recipes are for family, and while the nephews are family, the mother their father married after your sister died is not your family. Now that the boys are adults, it may be time to refine who you invite to family functions, because she no longer needs to be included in those invitations.
    via u/cyounes
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  • 08
    Rectangle - cara180455• 8d Asshole Enthusiast [7] NTA. She isn't part of your family. 6 Reply
    via u/cara180455
  • 09
    Font - tdoth80 • 8d NTA. And how many times does she need to be told no before she gives up? G Reply 4 27 3
    via u/tdoth80
  • 10
    Font - Global-Feedback2906 · 8d NTA It's your family recipe I don't know why everyone is mad at you that you don't want to share it. It's literally your property. She married into the husband's family not yours I don't see the issue and some people in the comments don't have family recipes and it truly shows G Reply 1 23 3 ...
    via u/Global-Feedback2906
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  • 11
    Rectangle - Gorgenaglorb · 8d NTA. Step mom is for harassing her husband's dead wife's family. 6 Reply 4 18 3 ...
    via u/Gorgenaglorb
  • 12
    Font - Winter_Apple3116 · 8d This isn't about the cake. She is insecure. I couldn't imagine giving any f*cks about about some weird family tradition. I'd probably think it was cute and request the person to make it for me bc it's a secret and all. Double win. Don't have to cook and clean, and you get free food. G Reply ...
    via u/Winter_Apple3116

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aita marriage family recipe drama secrets parenting family Reddit
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