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The guy who is going to blow his load too early
Went out with a guy I had sex with before lockdown. He picked a bar right near my apartment. Five minutes into the date he says, 'I just want to forewarn you that it's been a while since I've had sex, so don't judge me if I blow my load too early. How presumptuous.
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The guy who is a little too close with his ex
This guy invited me out for my first date since the beginning of 2020. He took me to a bar where he knew the female bartender quite well. I asked how they knew each other and he said they actually dated for 4 years. They broke up a few months ago but are still close, and he wants her opinions on women he dates.
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The man who really wants a threesome
My first post-apocalypse date was a guy who took me out for coffee, then explained that he was actually in a relationship, but he was looking for a girl to have a threesome with.
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The man wanted to do his date a favor by doing her
I sat down to dinner with this guy I had been seeing and really liked before we went into lockdown. The first words out of his mouth were, "I'm not looking for anything serious, but I am open to having a sexual relationship with you." Gee, thanks!
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The boob guy that needs to shut his mouth
Thought my first date in over a year was going well until he asked me if I was wearing a push-up bra in one of my profile pics because he was under the impression my boobs would be bigger. Clearly, some people forgot their manners.
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The presumptuous a**hole
This guy I had been seeing before the world seemingly ended texted me to see if I was interested in meeting up on Saturday night. Saturday rolled around and I texted him to see if we were still on. He said yes, I can come over around 11 PM. This dude literally thought I was just going to come over and f*ck him.
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The f*ckboy with ZERO shame
For my first date in what seemed like forever, this guy asked me what I did to pass the time. I told him, movies, puzzles, whatever. He went onto explain that he was having sex with two girls in his building and neither one knew about the other.
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The entitled jerk that expected sex
Met a guy on Bumble at a bar and we ended up hanging at his place after. He asked me if I would like some coke. I told him, no, and he said 'OK, well I am going to do some because sex is so much better on coke.' We hadn't even kissed!
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The guy who couldn't remember his dates name
This guy I was sleeping with before everything went to sh*t texted me and asked if I was vaccinated and if we could meet up. We were out having a good time and he said 'I have to be honest, I actually forgot your name, I still have you in my phone as 'big t*ts accountant.'
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The guy who thought she'd be out of his league...but told her she wasn't
Post-vaccination I decided to start dating again. The first thing this guy said to me when I walked up to meet him was, 'Oh good, I thought you were going to be super out of my league."
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