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Dumbest Things Guys Admitted On A First Date

  • “I appreciate your service in the military, but if women want to serve their country they should have sex with a soldier and support him at home.”

    Job - I'M GOING TO GIVE YOU A MINUTE TO THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU JUST SAID. #NEWAMSTERDAM NBC
  • Me: *orders pasta*.Him: “Your body is in relatively good shape now but your metabolism will only decrease with age. After kids, you might not look so good if you don’t change your eating habits now."

    Junk food
  • “I really want kids, so if we are going to continue this into a relationship I want you to get your fertility situation checked out so I know I am not wasting my time.”

    Blond - OKAY, NO UTERUS,
  • Me: *tells him I’m a veterinary technician and volunteer at the humane society*. Him: “Stray animals should be shot, not rescued and fixed. It’s more efficient for population control.”

    Facial expression - YOU'RE PSYCHO!
  • “I am recovering from a sex/pornography addiction and in therapy to repair my ability to have a healthy relationship with sexual intimacy.”

    Event
  • “There is more to me than being super successful and making tons of money. I’m actually very intelligent.”

    Interaction - I DON'T THINK SO.
  • “You’re almost 30. I think law school is a bad idea. You are better off finding a husband that makes good money if you want to have kids before it’s too late.”

    Human
  • “I wouldn’t say you are damaged goods, I just think marriage is sacred and don’t see why anyone would want to marry someone that is divorced. Lot’s of excess baggage.” – A man who had THREE children…from three different women.

    Event - EXCUSE ME? Citytv
  • “Typically I like to date women who are much younger because women usually peak around 25. You are the first ‘older’ woman I have been on a date with in a while.” - a man with a receding hairline, 7 years older than myself. I’m 28.

    Blond - IN MY OPINION, YOU'RE AN IDIOT.
  • “Full disclosure, my girlfriend and I are on a break and just exploring other options. I am still open to hooking up though.”

    Hair - Cooool. No thanks.
  • Pretty much all of my girlfriends have been models but nothing has really worked out because it is hard dating girls who are like, really gorgeous. I want to see how it works with someone more ‘normal’ looking.”

    Neck - Tucone Isn't that so, cute. #InTheCut T

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About the Author

Nikki is currently living in NYC with her husband (who she met on Bumble after experiencing the absurdity of online dating) and working in digital marketing. She clearly enjoys recording the ridiculous debauchery that is the modern dating scene. Nikki is also partial to a tall glass of Prosecco, her black/calico kitties, 90s music and playoff hockey. Drop her a line if you have a good story for her to write about.

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