Hello ladies! Hot boy summer is upon us, which means it is that time of year again when f*ckboys leave their booze boy fraternity lairs to come out and prey. All f*ckboys will be looking to smash on the reg this season, but how each of them plans to achieve this will vary. Some f*ckboys prefer to roll with the pack, convinced there is strength in numbers. Others choose to roam the sandy beaches and dance floors alone, proponents of hunting in stealth. Whatever the method may be, and however they decide to fry their brain cells, stay alert. F*ckboys will be on the prowl this summer, and they are hungry.
So, fasten your seatbelt, adjust your thong, and take out a notebook. Here's your guide to understanding what his summer plans say about the type of f*ckboy he is.
Big cities are major preying grounds for f*ckboys who enjoy being single during the summer alongside their squad. Such a summer will revolve around constant casual hookups, endless mingling, and all other things that reduce the likelihood of getting heartbroken. These f*ckboys are brazen, with little regard for others' feelings.
Often a follower of the lone wolf mentality, look out for f*ckboys this summer trying to scope out their next target while flipping through a GQ magazine. The reader f*ckboy generally posts up on a lounge chair, casually surveying any prospects that might pass. These types of f*ckboys are usually confident, but with an air of timidity that they will try and use to their advantage. They will use their reading material as a conversation starter.
On the beach, you will encounter two types of f*ckboys. The first is the pandemic workout guru.
This jacked up, fitness buff, has devoted his entire quarantine to this exact moment. Inhaling whey and lifting daily has rendered them testosterone-fueled specimens, eager to showcase their physical progress.
This is the second type of f*ckboy who plans on hitting up the beach this summer. Having been forced inside these last months, these f*ckboys want nothing more than to crush Ronas (the beer, not the plague) and admire beach tans, while basking in the sun on the beach. Both types of beach f*ckboys are more talk than action.
No surprise here, but with dating apps offering free incentives to vaccinated users, the web is going to be a massive breeding ground for f*ckboys this summer. If the pandemic has taught f*ckboys anything, it is that there is nothing in this world you can't get from the comfort of your seat. Lookout for f*ckboys that will be swiping till their fingers bleed this summer. These types of f*ckboys are efficient, but lazy.
Tennis courts, soccer fields, and golf courses. Keep an eye out for f*ckboys that will be trying to pick up women through playing sports this summer. They aim to impress girls with their athleticism, often embellishing the level of their capabilities to further get the point across. Being the natural competitors that they are, sporty f*ckboys will often compete with their buddies trying to see who can hook up with the most women. These types of f*ckboys are determined and energetic.
As anybody who is anybody can attest, spending some time scouting for ladies in the Hamptons this summer is a necessity. F*ckboys are no exception. Aware that where Justin and Hailey vacation is where the women will be, nearly all f*ckboys plan at least one boys weekend over the summer. There are concerts, drinking, and boat rides, all staple tenants of a fuckboy's schedule. These f*ckboys are overly excitable, and often outright wannabes.
Don't be surprised by the number of f*ckboys trying to slay even while on family vacation. Bored of poolside conversations with their grandma and unfulfilling drinks with their fathers, f*ckboys will often spend extra time pursuing women while on vacation. Some f*ckboys tend to be even more aggressive in their pursuits when they are up to their nose in family affairs all day. These types of f*ckboys are friendly, but desperate.
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