Woman Pressures Husband Into Open Marriage, Fuming When He Goes On A Date

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Mayarey
Dec 5, 2021 7:00 PM EST

Fewer and fewer people are submitting themselves to classic monogamous relationships these days. It may be about time considering how many marriages seem to end in divorce. However, if you're going to go away and stray from the form, it's important that all partners have similar expectations. The most important part of any relationship is communication, so when it is lacking, it really shows.

In this r/AmITheAsshole post by u/MindlessNote3735, that sort of communicating sure was lacking. The original poster wrote about her friend who proposed an open relationship to her husband, who hesitantly agreed after much consideration. Sure enough, as soon as the husband decided to go out on a date, the wife called her friend OP in hysterics — even though she was the one who came up with the open relationship idea in the first place. Some people really can't handle reaping what they sow, and apparently OP's friend really didn't appreciate hearing this.

For more musings on communication, check out the funniest parenting tweets of the week.

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  • 01
    Facial expression - Posted by u/MindlessNote3735 12 hours ago O 12 7 S 11 16 AITA for telling my friend she is reaping what she sowed?
    via u/MindlessNote3735

    It was Reddit user u/MindlessNote3735 who asked the 'Am I The A-Hle' community if they were in the wrong for basically telling her friend, "I told you so..."

  • 02
    Font - At the beginning of quarantine my friend Bella (f/30) proposed open marriage to her husband Mike (m/28). The timing was off, obviously, but she had thought about it a lot and she said it was the only way for her relationship with Mike to survive because she loved him dearly but felt unfulfilled.
    via u/MindlessNote3735

    Before diving in, she provides some much-needed backstory, though this story barely seems to be about her at all.

  • 03
    Font - Mike hesistantly agreed because he didn't want to lose her. When I asked him about it, he seemed very much not thrilled about the whole thing.
    via u/MindlessNote3735
  • 04
    Font - Backstory here is that Bella and Mike have known each other since middle school but only started dating in college at which point Bella had a lot more experience in relationships. Mike has told me he's always felt like he was one step behind her in most things but that their marriage really worked and he was very happy with her.
    via u/MindlessNote3735
  • 05
    Font - Well during quarantine, the two of them became even close than they had ever been before and I think Mike didn't expect Bella to actually go through with the open relationship idea she had proposed. But around three months ago, she brought it back up and then settled on some rules together.
    via u/MindlessNote3735
  • 06
    Font - Cut forward to an hour ago (it's way past midnight here) when Bella calls me crying saying Mike cheated on her. I'm all question marks at that point because Mike would never. She tells me she tried calling Mike all day but he said he had a "date" and hasn't come home yet. I asked her "but wasn't that sort of okay between you two?".
    via u/MindlessNote3735
  • 07
    Font - She sobbingly tells me that yes, that was sort of the deal but that she hadn't been able to go on a single date with a guy yet because she was so busy with work being back on now and that Mike just went ahead with his date as if she meant nothing, that he hadn't disclosed any details to her (which as far as I know was part of their deal, that they didn't want to know any details) and that she felt like he was ridiculing her.
    via u/MindlessNote3735
  • 08
    Hair - I didn't really know what to say and just told her "well, honey, I think you just reaped what you sowed, honestly."
    via u/MindlessNote3735
  • 09
    Font - She's furious with me and screamed at me for being an awful friend to her, that I should understand how she feels. I kept quiet but honestly, I think she's just upset that her husband is doing what she proposed in the first place? I haven't talked to Mike yet but ??? AITA?
    via u/MindlessNote3735
  • 10
    Font - EDIT: Spoke with Mike just now. He said he had an awesome night but came home to Bella screaming at him and is feeling incredibly guilty and confused now (understandably). He'll come by after word to talk. 895 Comments 95% Upvoted
    via u/MindlessNote3735
  • 11

    The OP provided a possible explanation of why she may be the A-Hole

    Rectangle - I feel like maybe I was being unnecessarily harsh or don't really have her perspective in mind? I don't want to be a bad friend to her.
    via u/MindlessNote3735
  • 12
    Font - windyafternoon · 12h 2 S Certified Proctologist [23] yeah NTA. people always seem to be down for open relationships until they remember their partner can have an open relationship too. 4 19.9k 5 Share
    via u/windyafternoon
  • 13
    Font - nathashanails · 12h Partassipant [2] NTA. She didn't expect him to actually sleep with other people. She just wanted to sleep with others without it being considered cheating. She's really ridiculous and I'm on Mike's side for this one. She wanted an open relationship, so that's what she got lol
    via u/nathashanails
  • 14
    Font - ToxicoFoxo · 12h Partassipant [3] NTA - Looool, far from it! Tell that girl she shouldn't have proposed it in the first place if she wasn't ready for him to do the same thing OP! 1.4k Share •..
    via u/ToxicoFoxo
  • 15
    Font - teresajs · 12h Prime Ministurd [416] NTA This is a pretty common story for monogamous couples that choose to open the relationship. The person who initiates the conversation about opening the marriage may overestimate their value on the dating/hookup market and/or underestimate the amount of effort that dating/hooking up requires.
    via u/teresajs

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aita relationship marriage relationships cheating love married weird
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