Guys Debate Whether Violence Is Ever The Answer In Sketchy Situations

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abbyadler
Jul 17, 2021 7:00 PM EDT

We love going into the AskMen subreddit from time to time to see WTF going on through guys' heads. This week, a man posted about how close he was to throwing arms with a guy at a bar who crossed one too many lines with his girlfriend. A creepy guy at the bar grabbed his bicep while the OP was trying to protect his girlfriend, and while OP debated fighting back, his GF ultimately convinced him to leave the bar in peace. Phew. OP had me in the first half, not gonna lie. After this close call, OP had a question for his fellow-men - when is it okay to rest the violence? Is violence ever the answer depending on the situation? Scroll down to see what these dudes had to say. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/AskMen · Posted by u/TheoryMan69 1 day ago When is it okay to resort to violence? Context: I was at a bar with my girlfriend and some friends and saw a dude trying to hit on my girlfriend and buy her a drink while she was closing her tab. I choose to ignore it as she was handling it well, and when she returned to my side she hugged me and the guy who was trying to flirt followed her, approached me and grabbed my bicep. I asked him why he was grabbing my arm and told him to let go, while
    via u/TheoryMan69

    Leave it to the GF to hold her man back. This could have ended really badly. Thank god he followed her out. Evidently, we can't leave men to their own devices. 

  • 02
    Font - orrapsac · 1d A Walking away with the girl he hit on hits harder than your fist.
    via u/orrapsac
  • 03
    Gesture - crazypyros · 1d A 2 2 3 3 Violence is the answer when you are trapped. If you can walk away walk away.
    via u/crazypyros
  • 04
    Font - N3v3r4getHarambe · 1d 6 35 A 5 Tim Larkin has a great book called "When Violence is the Answer." Basically boils down to when you can't walk away anymore, or there's nothing you could do or say to get them to stop.
    via u/ N3v3r4getHarambe
  • 05
    Human body - byrnestj7 · 1d Pretty much this. If you can walk away, no reason to throw a punch. Doesn't solve anything and probably gets you an assault charge.
    via u/byrnestj7
  • 06
    Font - Mardanis · 1d If you have the confidence to walk away, you've won. When you don't react and all they've got left is violence, you've won. It irritates scumbags massively when they cannot get a rise or reaction out of you.
    via u/Mardanis
  • 07
    Font - HeWhoIsNotMe · 1d S Just remember: a lot of fake tough guys love to sue once you've split their wig. Walking away is always the best answer, unless you seriously think you are in danger.
    via u/HeWhoIsNotMe
  • 08
    Human body - BoreanTundras · 1d When someone is in danger, and you can't get away, or get someone else away to safety.
    via u/BoreanTundras
  • 09
    Font - Many_Photograph_828 · 1d 3 3 I've always gone by the Ask-Tell-Make approach. In your case: Ask to let me go, tell to let you go, and then make him let you go. How quickly you choose to go through (or even skip steps) is always situation dependent. Though the smooth/lizard brain wants to resort to violence, there is serious litigation that can follow from these sorts of things and its better to take a measured approach.
    via u/Many_Photograph_828
  • 10
    Font - Relaxed-Ronin · 1d This 100%. Do not ask multiple times, be assertive and either move on or do what needs to be done if you can't and if you feel there's an immediate threat. Discretion is always the better part of valour but if you must, then be first - don't wait for the other guy to make the decision for you , if you don't know how to fight the one who leads usually wins.
    via u/Relaxed-Ronin
  • 11
    Font - hare-wolf · 1d Anything that happens in a bar I let the staff take care of it. Stay for another drink and watch the guy being escorted out. Added bonus: no charges.
    via u/hare-wolf
  • 12
    Font - slick_shoes83 · 1d Personally it takes a lot to get me to the point of violence. I don't like violence, but I'm not necessarily afraid of it either. I choose to not be intimidated or at least not show that I am. If you can let someone know that they don't have control of you or the situation they usually give up and just talk trash after the fact. I think it's better to win mentally than it is to win physically. In your situation the guy attempted to have control of the situation but you
    via u/slick_shoes83

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bars violence drama fight masculinity askmen
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