Guy Calls Wife Crazy Because She Doesn't Want To Host His 'Friend' From The Internet

Author image for Mayarey
Mayarey
Oct 2, 2021 8:00 AM EDT

Hosting is definitely a skill that some people have and some people don't. If you didn't grow up in a big hosting household you can feel uncomfortable with the idea of inviting people over, but it's definitely something you can work on. We learn how to host, we wouldn't argue it's a skill that some people are born with. We all love a good host, but some people will seriously take advantage, and they ruin the experience for everyone.

We would safely argue that you are under no obligation to host anyone ever, especially overnight and especially people you don't really know. We are all adults here, and it's ok to admit that it's uncomfortable to have strangers sleeping in the room next to you. There's a reason our homes aren't hostels. If anyone disagrees we'd love to hear your reasoning. Perhaps we're missing something here. You can decide who you think is in the wrong here.

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmltheAsshole u/Orangebabygal · 13h AITA Husband wants "friend" to stay at our place.
    via u/Orangebabygal

    It was u/Orangebabygal who took to the 'Am I The A-Hole' community on Reddit to ask if they were in the wrong for refusing to let her husband host his new friend over at their house for 4 days. Who do you think sounds crazy here? For us, it's definitely not the wife.

  • 02
    Font - My husband(32M) and I (22F) recently moved into a two bedroom apartment with our cats. One room is mine the other is his. Mostly because we have different aesthetics. We still sleep in one room though. So if we have guests staying over, his guests can stay in his room and vice versa. When I say guests I mean family or friends we both at least know. At least I thought.
    via u/Orangebabygal

    Before diving into the story, the OP provides some much-needed backstory to this weird incident. We're not sure why it's relevant that she and her husband usually sleep in different rooms, but we appreciate the details.

  • 03
    Font - Today he TELLS me that his friend will be staying over at our place for four days. Wants to see if he wants to live in our city and potentially become a real estate client for my husband. He says he and this guy have been gaming buddies for years BUT they have never met in irl.
    via u/Orangebabygal
  • 04
    Rectangle - I don't know this guy, never even talked to him. I'm concerned for my cats, myself, and the apartment.
    via u/Orangebabygal
  • 05
    Human body - My husband says he's a good guy but he really isn't the best judge of character as I seen from past experiences.
    via u/Orangebabygal
  • 06
    Font - And I feel like l'm being gaslighted. He keeps saying l'm being ridiculous, he didn't think l'd react this way, and l'm being crazy.
    via u/Orangebabygal
  • 07
    Human body - I don't think I'm being crazy or whatever at all. But let me be more objective so l'm posting here.
    via u/Orangebabygal
  • 08
    Font - Update: Came home and spoke to my husband. He told his friend that I was "trippin" about him staying over and that they will get a hotel together and explore the city.
    via u/Orangebabygal
  • 09
    Font - My husband's response to my denial was really off putting. It's also very frustrating that he isn't able to see my side. That he can't understand why I would be uncomfortable. And I can't push the issue further because he will get mad and that will just lead to whole other issues.
    via u/Orangebabygal
  • 10
    Font - I guess all wells that ends well lol. Thank you everyone for your kind words and responses :) 4 2.1k 3 ,↑, Share 419 +B
    via u/Orangebabygal
  • 11

    The OP provides a possible reasoning for why se might be in the wrong

    Font - I think because it is also my husband's apartment and he should be free to bring his friends around.
    via u/Orangebabygal
  • 12
    Rectangle - Burdicus · 13h Certified Proctologist [24] NTA - no one should spring a surprise 4-day visit on their partner, regardless of how well the person is or isn't known. This should have communicated weeks ago. G Reply 4 2.8k 3 ...
    via u/Burdicus
  • 13
    Font - _Takub_ • 12h He's not with someone 10 years younger, barely over college age, because you're as mature as a 32 year old. It's because he's not even as mature as a 22 year old. Doesn't seem too shocking. G Reply 1 1.6k 3 ...
    via u/_Takub_
  • 14
    Font - HoneyBadgerMarmalade · 12h 4 Awards NTA. Your husband is extremely ignorant as to what it's like to be a woman. 1 in 4 women are sexually assaulted and he's putting you at risk. I don't care how many raids they've done together in their games, that doesn't mean he knows him. Sadly, you might have to stay with a friend for 4 days since your husband doesn't care about your safety. G Reply 1 1k 3 ...
    via u/HoneyBadgerMarmalade
  • 15
    Font - PolyesterAtrocity • 13h Certified Proctologist [20] NTA. If your husband is so involved in this guy's welfare he can put him up in a hotel. You have every right to say no to a rank stranger coming into your home. This guy could be the Tylenol Killer or a cat strangler for all your husband knows. G Reply 4 269 3 ...
    via u/PolyesterAtrocity
  • 16
    Font - Freakin_Merida88 · 13h Partassipant [2] NTA. Its 2021, people should be smarter than "I never met them but we've chatted online so we are totally on the same wavelength. Lets invite them into our lives with no prior screening!" This could actually be dangerous. Probably (hopefully) not, but what dingus invites a stranger they've never met in person to live in their house for the better part if a week? Stand your ground. And lock up all your valuables. 6 Reply 1 224 ...
    via u/Freakin_Merida88
  • 17
    Font - tmss16 • 13h Colo-rectal Surgeon [48] NTA, especially if there are going to be times when you're home alone with this stranger he met on the internet. G Reply 4 133 3 ...
    via u/tmss16
  • 18
    Rectangle - HZeiss • 13h Partassipant [1] NTA. Don't let this stranger in your house. He can get a motel room. G Reply 4 36 3 ...
    via u/HZeiss
  • 19
    Font - theDagman • 13h Asshole Aficionado [12] NTA He's bringing a stranger to live in your house for four days. I'm sorry, but knowing someone through online gaming isn't actually knowing someone. You only know what you've been allowed to see. And then to be TOLD that you have to share your space with this stranger for four days, that you have to share a bathroom with them? Sorry. That's too big of an ask. The whole thing needs to be called off, or the guest needs to get a hotel room. G Reply 1
    via u/theDagman
  • 20
    Font - kitteh-in-space • 11h NTA. You've never met this person (neither has hubby!) and you're just supposed to take hubby's word for it...when, as you say, he has poor judgement of character? You are absolutely not crazy nor ridiculous. Is he like this about other issues as well? Edited to add: there are people who need to read up on gas lighting because OP's husband is most certainly doing it. Trivializing her feelings and questioning her credibility (calling her "crazy") are both a type of ga
    via u/kitteh-in-space

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aita marriage toxic stranger relationships issues host Reddit
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