We Found The Most Ridiculous Lingerie In Honor Of Intimate Apparel Week

Did you know that the first week of August is National Lingerie week? Lingerie, or "intimate apparel" as it's called by The Squares, is an integral part of being human that separates us from animals. Do animals dress up sexy in clothes that have no real purpose? Of course not. Animals are very practical dressers. They have a completely utilitarian approach to clothing, and that's why they never evolved thumbs. Sometimes we humans go a little overboard with how ridiculous our lingerie can get. Here are some of the stupidest examples.

01
Butt Cleavage Panties

via Etsy

Most of us know that men will respond to anything that looks like cleavage, and butts are no exception. I imagine it's uncomfortable to have your buttcheeks cinched together like that, but maybe it's worth it to trick your boyfriend into thinking you have boobs down there? Get them here.
02
Silk Ruffle Panties

via Angela Friedman

These are a perfect choice for when your idea of a sexy time is having a sordid affair with a nobleman and then dying of the plague. Pair them with a corset and absolutely nothing else for maximum old-timey brothel vibes. Get them here.
03
Fart-Proof Boxers

via 4Skins

I nearly fell out of my chair when I saw the words "fart-proof". But then I got to thinking. This is a useful product. If we could trick men into wearing these, our lives would be noticeably better. This is a feminist product. This is DIRECT ACTION, people! Learn more here.
04
VS Fantasy Bra

via Teen Vogue

The fantasy bra is what happens when corporations understand that rich people will buy whatever random bullsh*t you throw at them. It's a diamond-studded bra worth millions of dollars, because that seems like something that would be comfortable to wear and not a waste of money at all. I think you need to be a millionaire to even know where to buy one, so if that's you, please leave a link in the comments.
05
Pattinson Panties

via Blogspot

The Robert Pattinson undies may be a bit vintage at this point. I remember laughing about them with my friends during the Twilight craze. On the outside is his face, and on the inside is….uhhhh…...a certain part of his face. All these years I had thought these were mass-produced, but I've just learned that they were a joke that someone made for a Twilight fansite, and that knowledge has finally brought me peace.
06
"Nose" Novelty Underwear

via Teddygirl

These are so unbelievably f*cking stupid that they loop back around to being hilarious. I would be on the floor laughing if a man wore these at me! And then I would definitely not have s*x with him. Maybe. Okay I probably would, but NOT because of the underwear. Find them here.
07
The Grow-Your-Own-Rice Bra

via Japan Today

The grow-your-own-rice bra was an attempt by the Japanese company Triumph to promote agriculture with young people. It is literally two pots that you grow rice in and they sit on top of your boobs. Tragically it doesn't actually seem to be for sale, which is the only reason I don't have one to wear every single day forever.

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