The Scottish accent has been voted the world's sexiest accent time and time again. Ironically, Scottish brogues are some of the hardest to decipher. Women love a man they can't understand, there is just something about it. I am one of those gals that loves a challenge. I once dated a guy from Edinburgh, Scotland. He was a handsome and ripped actor. I could hardly understand him, but I had fun trying. When I wasn't google translating his every word, I was busy imagining our kilt-clad wedding. The bagpipes would have roared. He looked great in a kilt and so did every other man in that city. Kilts are really just for formal dress occasions, so you have to appreciate every one you see. My Scottish fairy-tale was squandered by the fact that he was emotionally and psychically unavailable and low-key hated women. Below is a list of general pros and cons from *my experience.* This is not a generalization of all Scottish men. Scottish lads are wonderful. But oh aye, I cannae be dealing with this kind of shite guy again. But lord knows I probably will.
Instead of honey or sweetie, Scottish men use 'hen, babe, and love' very regularly as terms of endearment. I personally am a fan of these terms and words like, cannae (can't), dafty (dim-witted) dinnae (don't), ken (know), and taties (potatoes). They are speaking English by textbook definition, but in reality, it's a completely different language.
'Ehdin-Brah'
By default, because we spoke in such different intonations, my Scottish boyfriend thought I had a hot accent. Americans never think we have an accent until we are called out on it. It gave me a nice boost of self-confidence.
What can I say? I'm a sucker for a man in a kilt. A man who is confident enough to wear a skirt is sexy on his own accord. It's the mystery of what's under that is also so exciting. You know the proper way to wear a kilt is by going completely commando underneath. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.
Something charming about dating a Scot was seeing how proud he was to be a Scot. He bled maroon. His team was the 'Hearts of Midlothian Football Club'. He would talk about them like family. It was cute, not too annoying. More importantly, he appreciated Scotland's beautiful nature. Hiking up to Arthur's Seat together was essential. Some people only use the natural beauty and old castles to do drugs in. He was a 50/50 kind of guy.
That's it. That's the line. Bagpipes get on some people's nerves. For me, it's angelic and powerful. I'm not even Scottish, but when I hear the pipes, I feel them calling me home.
My Scottish ex looked like these guys. Built, brawny and fun to look at. He could squash my head in his biceps. Luckily it never got to that point.
He lived in a dreamy location. It made coming back to visit that much more exciting. The whole country is gorgeous. The cities have rich culture and history. Great pubs, restaurants, museums, walking tours, and theatres galore. I was just as in love with the city as I was with him. I definitely love the city more though. I still go back to see it, not him!
The truth is, I was so blinded by his good looks and Scottish charm that I missed major red flags.
As mentioned before, he is an actor. I was attracted by his talent. He and I had a mutual love and appreciation for theatre. But he was a self-obsessed actor. He played the character 'Sick Boy' in the Trainspotting live show. It was amazing sure, but he grew a huge ego from it. He was acting all the time - off stage and on.
He spoke very fast and never enunciated. There are only so many times you can say 'What did you JUST say?!' before losing your mind completely.
He was always in a sour mood. He constantly needed a shoulder to cry on/a person to complain to. But it was never reciprocated when I needed to talk. Later, I realized the mood swings were a result of alcoholism. It wasn't just Irn-Bru he was drinking. I really know how to pick 'em.
Being in a relationship with someone long-distance really pushes you. It was pretty solid for 6 months or so. It was the final 6 that stretched too long. You have to make time for your significant other, especially if they are thousands of miles apart. Over time he started to disappear like your average ghosting fuckboi.
He was a picky eater - he pretty much only ate haggis, steak, and potatoes. I actually enjoy Haggis, tbh. But every day?! I still don't understand how people can survive without vegetables.
By the end of the relationship, I was Hillary Clinton. Like Hillary, I too got distracted by the way he flew around my head. This guy would come and go when it was convenient for him. He was never emotionally available for me, yet he always needed my shoulder to cry on. I never felt worthy of his time. The moral of the story to this Scottish folklore is, don't give your heart away to guys with hot accents unless they give you their heart back in full. You are more than worthy of their time.
Like what you see? Find more hilarious women's memes and crazy stories on our Instagram @Cheezcake_Humor and more videos on our YouTube Channel
Like what you see? Find more hilarious women's memes and crazy stories on our Instagram @Cheezcake_Humor and more videos on our TikTok @cheezcaked