‘Do they honestly think I would give up my career with zero safety net?’: Traditional in-laws try to convince woman to quit her $170k role so she doesn't ‘emasculate’ her lower-earning husband, woman suggests they pay her the same amount and then some

Author image for Lana DeGaetano
Lana DeGaetano • "Show me to me please."
Jul 10, 2025 9:00 PM EDT

A high-paying role is a highly sought-after opportunity in this economy. A role at all is a highly sought-after opportunity in this economy. Long gone are the days of women solely relying on their partners for financial security—girl bosses are here, and they're here to stay.

The job market is unforgiving, so it's important to keep your finger on the pulse of your company, your specific field's market, and how to keep your head above water, whether you're single or married to someone with money. Maintaining financial security independent of your partner is the key to a healthy relationship and ensures you will live comfortably in the wake of a potential divorce. It stinks thinking about the negative "what-ifs,"—but it's important to be realistic. Why throw away a $170k/year role simply because your husband's family wants you to be a stay-at-home mom? They feel that their son is being "emasculated"; well, that's his problem.

In this next story, you'll read about an independent woman with a high-paying career who demands that her in-laws pay her the same amount of money (and then some) if they want her to quit her job and become a traditional wife. Scroll below to read about how she owns them.

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  • "They must contribute my gross earnings yearly with bumps for anticipated raises and promotions. The deposits would be for the next 35 years."
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • "AITAH for asking my future in-laws for money?"

    My fiance's parents are loaded. Old money loaded. They can afford what I'm asking no problem.
    via Strange-Corner5670
  • I make very good money at my job. I'm currently 27 and earn over $170,000 USD a year. Tim is a teacher. He doesn't make as much bit he has a trust fund so he works sort of as public service. It's big in his family.
    via Strange-Corner5670
  • Recently I had a weird conversation with him and his folks. They think after the wedding I should quit working and be a stay at home
    via Strange-Corner5670
  • mom. I thought they were joking and kind of laughed. They are perfectly serious. They think it's emasculating that I earn more than Tim.
    via Strange-Corner5670
  • Over the course of my career I will earn much more than him. But his trust fund is low seven figures. He could afford to pay me what I earn
    via Strange-Corner5670
  • yearly but he can't due to the stipulations of his trust. His mom on the other hand has lots of interest built up in her trust.
    via Strange-Corner5670
  • So I offered a solution I thought was fair. They set up an unrecoverable trust for me. They must contribute my gross earnings
    via Strange-Corner5670
  • yearly with bumps for anticipated raises and promotions. The deposits would be for the next 35 years. That was I'm a stay at home mom, Tim is the breadwinner, and I'm protected in the case of a divorce.
    via Strange-Corner5670
  • BANK ACCOUNT BALANCE 1.5650.00 2. $1200.00 3.5250.00 4.199.00 5.5 1011.00 6.599.00
    via Behnam Norouzi For Unsplash+

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • They went nuts. Apparently I'm ridiculous for thinking they will give me money. I offered a compromise. I sign a prenup
    via Strange-Corner5670
  • wherein I am entitled to half of Tim's trust fund in the case of divorce of I give up my career.
    via Strange-Corner5670
  • Also not acceptable to them. I'm kind of at a loss. Do they honestly think I would give up my career with zero safety net?
    via Strange-Corner5670
  • My mom says I'm being kind of ride putting everything in such stark monetary terms. I think I'm being reasonable. What do you think?
    via Strange-Corner5670
  • Scenarioing Your proposals didn't fit their plan to totally control you and your husband and dole out money based on compliance with their instructions and ultimately being in charge of any children you have and so on. Get that pre-nup. To protect YOU.
    via Scenarioing
  • Informal_Ask6646 Old money is weird. They live by their own rules. They are not worried about a divorce because you are a possession to show off, like a nice car or watch. If Tim gets tired of you later, you should feel blessed he let you enjoy the time with his family he did. I work with a lot of these
    via Informal_Ask6646
  • families, and it's wild how they actually view people. They will do charities and say nice things to the public to keep up appearances. But you just got a first hand experience of what the true behind the scenes conversations look like.
    via Informal_Ask6646
  • Don't quit your job, if they have a problem with it ensure the trust is setup in your name.
    via Informal_Ask6646
  • kiwi62300 NTA, they are asking you to give up financial security for him but don't want him risk anything in return. You are 27 making $170,000 a year, you are obviously good at what you're doing and have put the work in.
    via kiwi62300
  • This is the time that your fiancé should be standing up for you and shutting his family down, his response here should tell you everything you need to know about your future marriage. Don't do it, protect your future first.
    via kiwi62300
  • Dooraven NTA. You are being completely reasonable lol. They want a SAHM, they better pay for a SAHM.
    via Dooraven
  • Redeeming Reader_34 NTA. If it's emasculating that you earn more, that's a problem your finance needs to handle himself. You have earned your career and pension. They cannot expect you to just give that up to save face. I'd seriously consider whether or not you want to be a part of a family like that. And Tim either needs to back you on what you want or decide himself if he's okay with being "emasculated"
    via Redeeming_Reader_34

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family dynamics family drama entitled parents entitlement job reddit story family feud relationships in laws entitled family reddit thread trust parent Reddit parents entitled people Parenting FAILS
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