Future sister-in-law invites one 16-year-old twin to her wedding but not the other, their 23-year-old sister stands up for scorned brother: "Caroline is more mature because she is a girl"

Author image for Ely Bulnes
Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Jul 8, 2025 3:00 PM EDT

People tend to treat twin siblings like a single unit. Whether or not they actually enjoy being treated like this is entirely up to the pair of twins in question. Some really are joined at the hip, preferring to keep the same friend group. Others are way too different personality and interest-wise to actually run in the same circles. Either way, it must be difficult, as a person who shares the exact same genetic makeup as their twin, to deal with situations where they are favored over you.

Our story today involves a set of twins in this terrible situation. Not only do they have extremely different personalities, but one is a girl, and the other is a boy. While the 16-year-old girl is invited to her future SIL's wedding, her brother is all but banned from attending on account of his gender – at least, that is the excuse given. Luckily, he has an older sister who is willing to defend him. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling off my 'future' sister in law when she didn't want to invite my younger brother to her wedding

    Cheezburger Image 10526451456
    via LindaYolanda from Getty Images Signature

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 02
    123f have an older brother, Drew, 26m who is getting married at the end of this summer. To say it lightly me and his fiance, Lacy, 25f, do not get along. She's very stuck up and has made some
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 03
    snide comments to me and my younger brother, Max, 16m. For context Max has always been the black sheep of the family. He is very academically and artistically talented but my father and mother
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 04
    are disappointed in his lack of sports (cliche I know), not to mention they've favored my sister, his twin, Caroline, 16f. Max and Lacy were civil for awhile but I guess I haven't seen them speak in a long time for reasons unknown to me.
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 05
    The problem occurred last night when I was asking Lacy about the wedding and how the planning was going. She started telling me her seating chart and showing me what she had planned, I was looking at
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 06
    the chart and Max's name was nowhere to be found. I don't love Lacy but I'm not going to assume the worst of her, so I asked her where Max's name was and she got suddenly quiet. "He's not going to be there", she said. "You mean not in the wedding party?", I ask. "No, he's not invited", she said it so.
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 07
    calmly I'd assume she was talking about the weather. I kept asking her why she wouldn't invite him but invited Caroline. She just said that she feels Caroline is more mature because she is a girl.
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 08
    Cala Codolar Cala Carbo ala d'hort Cala Tanda Cala Craco
    via Joaquín Corbalán

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 09
    This wedding isn't going to be child free, Lacy has stated this multiple times. I have many little cousins who are being invited, since family is very important to us. Not inviting Max makes no sense. He is a very
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 10
    nice kid, and very mature for his age. Much more mature than Caroline. He never causes problems but like I mentioned earlier, there are some big issues with him not following Drew's and my dad's
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 11
    footsteps in football. I know Lacy is very desperate for my family's approval so maybe outlining Max is the way to do it for her but I have a feeling there's something more to it.
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 12
    After what Lacy said about not inviting Max, I stood up and started yelling at her for not including Max. She kind of just ignored what I was saying but when I escalated, Drew came over. As he was walking over she started to cry and make a bigger
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 13
    Cheezburger Image 10526451712
    via SHVETS production from Pexels

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 14
    scene about it. Drew knelt down to comfort her and gave me dirty looks. Once she was inside he turned to me and started yelling at me about being r de to her, when she is under so much stress from
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458

  • I know SIL is made out to be the villain here, but the twins' literal older brother is also excluding Max from the wedding.

  • 15
    planning the wedding and trying to get my family to like her. I understand that my family is closed knit and kind of not welcoming to newcomers but that doesn't excuse her behavior and I told my brother
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 16
    so. I asked him why he didn't want to invite Max and he just told me to stay out of it (Classic move of him). He called me an a h_le for treating Lacy like that, then walked out. We haven't spoken since last night.
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 17
    I understand that yelling at her was a bit much and i could have handled the situation differently, but i am. sick of seeing Max being left out and treated badly. I don't want to fight with Drew, but I'm standing my
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 18
    ground for Max's sake, Max also doesn't know about any of this yet and I'm hesitant to tell him. My parents have stayed out of it so far but Drew is still set on being mad at me. AITA?"
    via u/Accurate-Damage-7458
  • 19
    Bitter-Paramedic-531 NTA, but you're yelling at the wrong person. The person you should be having a go at is your older brother. He should be the one making sure Max is
    via u/Bitter-Paramedic-531
  • 20
    included. Frankly, if my family behaved like this, I would be standing in solidarity with Max, declining my wedding invitation and taking him on a nice day out the day of the wedding
    via u/Bitter-Paramedic-531
  • 21
    Cheezburger Image 10526452224
    via kkshepel from Getty Images

    The image does not depict the actual subjects of the story. Subjects are models.

  • 22
    Far-Nature862 This was my first thought F-them. Skip the wedding and go out with Max for a fun filled day and evening. Including turning off both of your phones so you don't have to listen to the barrage.
    via u/Far-Nature862

  • Skipping the wedding last minute to hang out with Max is the best slap in the face to the bride; it also shows him loud and clear whose side our protagonist is on. 

  • 23
    Mina_Girl NTA Def this- the issue is your older brother. I have a hard time believing your parents would be ok with one of their children being excluded from the wedding but maybe I'm expecting too much of them.
    via u/Mina_Girl
  • 24
    Niccon43 I would accept the invite, even accept being a part of wedding party, then the day before say sorry I cant make it. I forgot I have plans with max. I can be really petty when I want to be.
    via u/Niccon43
  • 25
    Iwabuti Agree with this take. Drew and his fiancée haven't invited your younger brother. It is their choice but they will take any consequences for it.
    via u/Iwabuti
  • 26
    But, I'm going to disagree with above and say YTA. Think about how differently you dealt with Drew and your future SIL. You need to apologise to her for how you expressed yourself and that you do wish them all the best for their wedding.
    via u/Iwabuti
  • 27
    Then let Drew know (at a different time, so it doesn't take away from your apology) that you won't be going because someone needs to be with Max when he is being excluded from a major family event.
    via u/Iwabuti
  • 28
    shadho He's not inviting HIS OWN BROTHER TO HIS WEDDING? This isn't even about Caroline. This is about your brother. Jesus CHRIST>
    via u/shadho
  • 29
    AggravatingAd9010 Agree. If Drew consider Max family, he would be there. These guys are trash.
    via u/AggravatingAd9010
  • 30
    III Tempered Old Woman Don't go. There's no point. You're a good sister and NTA
    via u/IIITemperedOldWoman

Tags

family drama bride groom wedding drama brother teenagers siblings family feud relationships raising teens wedding couples love family sister red flag
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