Woman Calls Boyfriend Selfish After He Asks For His 20K Loan Back, Won't Marry Him If He Expects The Money Back

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for asking my GF to pay me my 20k. My girlfriend of 4 years; I love her but feel slighted. Long story short is she had no more money to pay for her tuition and needed the money urgently. I paid for her last two semesters of school (20k) she graduated winter 2021.
  • 02
    Font - It has been over a year since I paid her and I've gotten $0 of that money back. Bought her numerous “necessities" like a new MacBook, Backpack, purse etc. Big spender she is and put herself in a bad financial spot. She said she would try to pay me back. I did not want to stress her at the time... mistake.
  • 03
    Font - My financial portfolio is currently down, so I've been thinking about that $$$. Ok I have a few hundred k (around 300) so I don't NEED the 20k, but She's had a job so she could start giving some here and there.
  • 04
    Font - I brought it up to her recently and she turned it over on me. She told me straight up, just so I know if I'm waiting for her to pay me back before I ask her to marry me, then tell her now so she could end the relationship. (Yeah I am). According to her, I should be happy she has a degree and a career now, and if I thought about our future together I would see that is more important.
  • 05
    Font - She pretty much made it clear that if I expect any of that money back, we're done. It's pointless for her to pay it back now. Money isn't everything and her well being and happiness are more important. Also said she would pay me back, but if she does we're broken up cause "I'm greedy, and my priorities are fucked".
  • 06
    Font - Dropping it for now. I don't really want to deal with it. What do you all think?
  • 07
    Font - katamino · 3 hr. ago Partassipant [3] NTA, but seriously, don't marry her. She is financially irresponsible and if she is willing to end the relationship over paying back a loan as she promised to do, then she doesn't really love you. Plus she has now shown she can't be trusted.
  • 08
    Font - fraservcxvdg · 1 hr. ago NTA. She sounds manipulative. I would call her bluff and ask for repayment. If she breaks it off then you dodged a bullet.
  • 09
    Font - Yvonne_MacLeod · 40 min. ago NTA- she sounds like a user. If you have texts or anything to prove it was a loan and not a gift, it's time to pursue legal action to make her pay up. Talk to a lawyer anyways. The relationship is over, you just need the courage to make it official.
  • 10
    Font - irrelevantAF. 5 min. ago She's not only financially irresponsible, she also is entitled AF. Who takes a 20k loan from someone and then gets mad at them for asking it back? Some people...
  • 11
    Font - kspiterivxcdsgsdfg · 44 min. ago NTA. You weren't clear enough and personally, I go by the credo that "don't lend money that you can't afford to lose". However your GF's behaviour isn't very appealing and if I were you I would not marry someone who treats her finances that way
  • 12
    Human body - Ella_Abraham · 26 min. ago NTA... but you got rolled man. Unless you want to take this down a legal road, drop her now.
  • 13
    Font - pearshaped34 · 3 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA but if you had no contract to state if was a loan you're not getting that back. I'd say get out while you can and be lucky you realised she's greedy and doesn't love you before she's entitled to half of everything!
  • 14
    Font - DaisyInc · 3 hr. ago Pooperintendant [65] NTA. She is a manipulative AH who manipulated you for $20,000 before and is now looking to somehow spin her not repaying the money into manipulating you into locking yourself into a lifetime one-way commitment with her. You are not in the wrong for wanting your money back despite not being in dire straits right now.
  • 15
    Font - SparkMMX · 2 hr. ago Partassipant [1] ESH. You only suck because you didn't make it clear that it was a loan but she's way further in the wrong. You gave her 20k and then she tries to manipulate you and basically tell you you're greedy for sharing your wealth? Nope. Uh uh. Thats not how it works.

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