Couple Seeks Advice On Dog Custody Debacle After Recent Break Up: Reddit Thread

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kalila courban
Jan 17, 2022 4:00 PM EST

Breakups happen all the time, they're unfortunately just a natural part of life. When there are kids involved, things can get real ugly real fast. Custody battles ain't pretty, so we applaud this reasonable couple for at least putting their differences aside trying to come up with the best solution for the child in question. Oh, and the child is a dog. 

You would think that determining custody of dogs would be easy than children, but this couple is having an incredibly difficult time making a decision. Like many reasonable people, they turned to Reddit for some advice. Reddit users from near and far poured into the comments section to offer their own two cents and try to give the original posting couple some guidance. Everyone's on the same page though and only wants what's best for the doggo. 

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  • 01
    Font - Posted by u/figfoxz 6 days ago Dog custody in break up [Help] My live in boyfriend and I are breaking up, and moving out of our shared apartment. Our dog adores both of us, and we each adore our dog. Our dog likes routine and does not like moving between different locations.
    via figfoxz

    In a situation like this, we have to sit back, take a deep breath, and at least appreciate the fact that both options are good options. This dog will be taken care of one way or another and it will really just come down to OP's decision. 

  • 02
    Font - For a number of reasons I won't get into here, it would really be better for us to go our separate ways and avoid being in touch. Splitting custody of our dog 50/50 wouldn't be good for us, and our dog probably wouldn't like it much either, as we know he loves routine and predictability. He hates the car rides that would be required for us to pass him back and forth.
    via figfoxz

    We are much like this dog in that we appreciate routine and predictability so we know what you're talking about. 

  • 03
    Font - We both want the dog and also want the dog to be happiest he can be. How should we decide who gets to be his person? Ugh this situation is heartbreaking in too many ways.
    via figfoxz
  • 04
    Font - strange_dog_TV · 6 days ago Have been in this exact situation. What we decided was whoever had the most appropriate property for the dog got her. He ended up with a house that had an awesome yard. I moved into a condo with a friend - it was a bit of a no brainer - killed me at the time but she was happy with him in the house with the yard.. Gotta do what is right for the pupper.
    via strange_dog_TV

    It's all about the doggo at the end of the day, where will he have more room to run around? Does one of you plan on having outdoor space in your new home? Which neighborhood is more dog friendly?

  • 05
    Font - IsayIdo · 6 days ago This is a sad situation for all. No matter what happens the dog will have to get used to a new life. Some things to consider: 1. You already made a decision that its one or the other based on the dogs dislike of routine. 2. Depending on who paid for the dog originally they are the owners by the given standards. If it has been 50/50 for vet, food and grooming, then you both own the dog IMO. 3. Who can maintain the dog routine, vet bills, food, etc realistically for the
    via IsayIdo
  • 06
    Font - badwvlf · 6 days ago My ex husband and I had 4 dogs together. We each brought one in and adopted two more. Item 3 is what decided it for us. I made significantly more money and he was very financially unstable. So I took 3 and he took 1. It was hard for both of us but I have been able to consistently give quality senior care and cover accidents (totaling at least 15k in two and a half years) and I know he wouldn't have. We aren't in contact but when something big happens (like I decided t
    via badwvlf
  • 07
    Font - figfoxz OP · 6 days ago The dog is registered to both of us, and we have been both taking care of expenses. My question is more about are there other criteria to consider for the dogs well being. For instance, the dog comes to me for snuggles and to my boyfriend for playtime. I take him on longer runs, but my boyfriend has time in his work schedule for sniff walks. What human characteristics and skills are more important for the dog? We are not fighting over this and genuinely want what i
    via figfoxz
  • 08
    Font - RegularTeacher2 · 6 days ago Millie: APBT/Heinz57 mix, Elvis: Am. Foxhound I'd look at your long-term plans and decide whose plan is better suited for dog ownership. My situation was a bit different - I was definitely the owner of Millie, so it wasn't any question as to who would keep her after my ex and I broke up - but even if we had shared her while we were together, his lifestyle and future plans were definitely not ideal for owning a dog. Do either of you have a job that will require
    via RegularTeacher2
  • 09
    Rectangle - AnUnrulyLlama · 6 days ago Have you thought about consulting a rescue or someone with intimate working knowledge of dogs, but who would be impartial to be an arbiter? If you both love the dog, sometimes a third party will help see perspectives you might otherwise overlook.
    via AnUnrulyLlama
  • 10
    Font - she-wolf- · 6 days ago I don't think it matters who paid for the dog or spent the most on him in the past. The ONLY thing that should matter now is who has the most time for the dog, who can walk and play with him and can afford to take care of him. If one of you doesn't have the time or resources alone then the other should get the dog. If neither of you have the time or resources alone maybe he will be better off somewhere else with family?
    via she-wolf
  • 11
    Human body - WashuWaifu · 6 days ago Judge Judy says never play house in situations like this. Whoever bought the dog and has paid more into its care and life deserves the dog. If it's split 50/50, get a third party to flip a coin.
    via WashuWaifu
  • 12
    Font - No_Preference_5781 · 6 days ago The one who paid for the dog is the owner. U will put him out of routine when you leave, so maybe a 50/50 isn't that bad, dogs can adapt pretty good. Just try it slow or maybe a neutral party to pick him up between you two. And if it really doesn't work than one of you has to give him up, probably the one who leaves the house. The fact that you both want the dog to be happy and the one who paid isn't claiming, is pretty wonderful. My personal experience is
    via No_Preference_5781

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dogs thread pet dog discussion relationships doggo pet breakup reddit thread Reddit custody
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