Karen Wants To Adopt Cat Without Her Husband's Permission: Reddit Storytime

Author image for Ellie Dunn
Ellie Dunn
Feb 5, 2022 3:00 PM EST

What would you do if your partner brought home a dog or a cat without asking you? There are a whole lot of thoughts that would spin through our head if it happened to us. So here at I Can Has Cheezburger, we've seen our fair share of pets bringing couples, and families, together. From a heroic pet dog saving a baby's life, to a cat who saved a freezing baby, there is no shortage of stories about cats and dogs behaving like heroes. Unfortunately, there are also many stories about lovers, or family members, getting into quarrels over their pets. From a woman who stole her ex-boyfriend's dog right after they broke up to the husband who pressured his wife to adopt a third animal into the house. 

Today we have a dramatic story about a seventeen year long relationship, yes that's right, seventeen whole years, being driven apart by someone's decisions about their pet. You see, the protagonist of this story is a grown woman who wants to adopt a cat, but her husband is very against it. Her husband has forbidden her from adopting a cat, but she feels that she is a grown woman, so she's asking Reddit if she'll be the asshole for adopting the cat without her husband's permission. The question is, what does our audience of veteran cat owners think about all of this, what would you guys do in her shoes? Scroll to the bottom to hear the incredible details of this story:

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  • 01
    Font - AITA for insisting on getting a cat even though my husband is dead against it and out right vetoes the idea?
    via u/willow_wilshaw9

    First of all, most people would say that it isn't ok to make such a big decision without your husband. But also, we'll need to hear all of the details before making a decision. If you have strong opinion, make sure to leave it down below in our comments section!

  • 02
    Font - I (49 f) and my husband (45 m) are falling out because I have said I want a cat. We have been married 17 years and have one daughter (15) who lives with us and I have a daughter (24) from a previous relationship that doesn't live with us.
    via u/willow_wilshaw9

    Wow, 17 years of marriage and two kids is significant, it seems like they should definitely be able to work this out no? Especially if they have already had pet cats together. We wonder why it has come to such an ultimatum like this, hopefully this woman will explain it for us. 

  • 03
    Handwriting - When we met I had 2 cats. They lived to grand old ages of 21 years or so (both rescues) and the youngest only died 4 years ago. My husband loved the cats.
    via u/willow_wilshaw9
  • 04
    Font - Throughout our marriage we have also had dogs and currently have 2 staffy's who we all adore. I have had cats all my life until the last 4 years without one and I really want to get another one. The cat I want
    via u/willow_wilshaw9
  • 05
    Font - belongs to my eldest daughter who has a number of cats but the cat in question is being bullied by the others and is really unhappy. It is also a jet black cat, which tend not to do so well getting rehomed from rescue centres.
    via u/willow_wilshaw9
  • 06
    Product - We live in a rural area, no roads nearby and plenty of fun for a cat to be had as we live in the woods.
    via u/willow_wilshaw9
  • 07
    Human body - I have tried to discuss this with my husband and he has stated NO. We are not getting a cat. He doesn't want one and feels that his word goes.
    via u/willow_wilshaw9
  • 08
    Human body - AITA for putting my foot down and insisting? I am a 49 year old woman and I feel like he is being controlling in thinking he has the final say.
    via u/willow_wilshaw9
  • 09
    Font - It really is a cause of contention. Usually we can reach an agreement but I feel like I am being dictated to, but now I am questioning myself whether IATA for insisting on getting the cat.
    via u/willow_wilshaw9
  • 10
    Font - I feel like I shouldn't have to ask permission in a partnership for something I feel so strongly about.
    via u/willow_wilshaw9
  • 11
    Font - ThrowawayforMILBS · 1 day ago Colo-rectal Surgeon [35] getting a pet when your spouse is adamantly against it is a violation of trust and boundaries that is a lesser form of adopting a kid without consent. It aint gonna end well Look if both of you arent on board to a major decision like buying a boat or a cat or adopting a kid: it defaults to a no. YTA
    via u/ThrowawayforMILBS
  • 12
    Font - DiegoIntrepid - 1 day ago · edited 1 day ago Honestly, just from reading the title. YTA. If your husband is dead set against it, then that cat will know, and it could start acting out, which would make your husband even more against it. I also don't know what your husband might do. Would he just kick it outside, where it would be at the mercy of whatever predators you have or weather? would he send it back to a shelter? would he take it to a vet? would he just ignore it? would he actively
    via u/DiegoIntrepid
  • 13
    Font - willow_wilshaw9 OP · 23 hr. ago Thanks for your comments. I genuinely posted this because I did have reservations about my whole argument of getting a cat and the realisation that by pushing it IATA. When I couldn't get any real rationale from my husband on why he doesn't want a cat when his only response was NO which made me feel like a child asking for permission from a parent with no explanation other than 'because I said so' made me see red.
    via u/willow_wilshaw9

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  • 14
    Font - I have tried for weeks to have a sensible discussion on the issue to no avail, but getting everyone's perspective on here confirmed my AITA suspicions! Pleased to say that after confirming IATA I tried a different approach and he opened up after some encouragement on what his reservations are. I do get where he is coming from surprisingly and can even agree that he has some valid points. Looks like we won't be getting a cat any time soon!
    via u/willow_wilshaw9

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Cats relationship adoption drama kitten askreddit am i the asshole reddit thread Reddit
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