Step-Dad Accused Of Stealing Son's Love And Attention Away From 'Real' Dad

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LiterallyLily17
Feb 4, 2022 12:00 PM EST

The world of step-parenting is a challenging one. You want to connect with your partners children but you have to be cautious. The OP im this story seems genuinely caring. He is a family man. Tragically, he is sterile and can't conceive children of his own. He is now married to a woman that he loves. His wife already had a son when they met. Her son was 12 years old then and he's 15 years old now. Her son and OP have become close and having a loving relationship. Unfortunately, the teenaged son has a strained relationship with his biological father. He's described as being emotionally distant, cold and irritable. He is always saying he 'needs to make a man' out of his son. OP found out that the bio-dad started trash talking about him to the son. He's trying to get negative ideas in the son's head. He told him that OP is just using him to get close to his mother and that he's not his real dad etc. The son came home crying and distraught. OP loves the teenager unconditionally and let him know that. The son decided he wanted to call OP 'Dad' publicly after that. Naturally, the bio-dad became furious and blamed OP for the current state of the relationship with his son. Help the moral judges of Reddit to decide who is in the wrong. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmItheAsshole · Posted by u/yinisbeg 3 hours ago 23 5 3 6 9 AITA for allowing my stepson to call me dad?
    via U/yinisbeg

    Interesting question to start. Usually when a step-dad is promoted to be called 'Dad' that's only a positive step. But this story gets very complicated. Buckle up. 

  • 02
    Font - My wife (39F) and I (36M) got married and moved in together last year after 3 years of dating. She has a son (15M) with her ex-husband (42M). He was never abusive to any of them but he used to be extremely cold, emotionally distant and easily irritable, so my wife divorced him when the kid was 8. Since
    via U/yinisbeg

    Shocker, another emotionally distant and cold man put into play. Irritable father's usually lead down the a$$hole trail pretty easily. 

  • 03
    Font - then he has constantly tried to be involved in his life but the child doesn't like him at all. He tries to "make a man out of him" but the son is a huge softie which is obviously an inherent incompatibility. He views his dad's approach as him not being accepting of who he is.
    via U/yinisbeg
  • 04
    Font - I met the kiddo when he was 12. I had already been dating my wife for a year at that point and we both knew that things were going to get serious, so it was the right time. I instantly felt a connection to him, my paternal instincts spiked up. I'm sterile and I love children which is an unfortunate
    via U/yinisbeg
  • 05
    Font - combination. From that moment on I started spending as much time with him as possible. The ex-husband really hated this and accused me of trying to "steal his son". After we all moved in together, I started taking care of him full-time basically, 'cause I work from home. I cook him breakfast in the morning, I pack him lunch, I drop and pick
    via U/yinisbeg
  • 06
    Font - him off from school, I help him with his homework, we play video games together, workout, do sports, watch movies, listen to music, go on trips, etc. He talks with me about anything. I love him so much, I consider him my own son. This week he came to me crying after a meeting with his dad. The father apparently started trash talking me and telling
    via U/yinisbeg
  • 07
    Font - him things such as: "he's not your real dad, he's just a stranger", "he's only being nice to you to get closer to your mom", "he'll never see you as his own child", etc. The poor kid actually defended me in front of his dad. I hugged him tight and assured him that I love him more than anything and that he is definitely my son. He calmed down in the end and let me know that from now on he wants to call me dad publicly
    via U/yinisbeg
  • 08
    Font - and in front of everyone (he called me by my first name before) 'cause I'm his male role model and real dad and he loves, respects and admires me a lot. I told him okay, whatever he feels the most comfortable with.
    via U/yinisbeg
  • 09
    Font - My wife's ex-husband called me yesterday to berate me for allowing this to happen, saying that because of me he'll never be able to rebuild the relationship with his son now and that I crossed some huge boundaries and I should be ashamed of myself for that.
    via U/yinisbeg
  • 10
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    via U/wellthatsucks

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aita askreddit Reddit marriage step dad parenting step father Parenting Fail children Father harsh
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