Controlling BF Moves In And Starts Micromanaging GF's Dog Parenting, She Goes Off On Him

A little tip about offering free parenting advice- don't. This is a statement that can also be applied to doggo parenting. Look, if you see that a dog is clearly not being sufficiently taken care of, (is underweight, matted, or obviously ill) then that is a different situation. But if the dogs in question are happy and healthy, then there is simply no reason to insert one's opinion into the parenting matters of others.

The only redeemable quality we can see in this situation is that the boyfriend had just moved in with his girlfriend, OP, and perhaps they could have clarified prior to this move what each person's household responsibilities would be. For example, OP might have stated from the get-go that the doggos are hers and hers to care for alone. Though, we have a feeling that this controlling BF would have asserted his own opinions and dog parenting styles regardless. Sighs, it might be time to rehome the boyfriend, or have a very clear respectful conversation at the end of which he understands his role in the household a little bit better, and that it does not consist of dog parenting in the slightest bit. We would definitely like an update on this one, perhaps OP will let us know what ends up happening. Either way, we are only rooting for the health and happiness of the doggos, as always!

Author image for kalilacourban kalilacourban
SHARE
Advertisement
  • 01
    Rectangle - Posted by u/Rub5120 4 days ago 4 5 37 AITA for 'losing it' after my boyfriend sat me down for a PET intervention'?

    Nope.

    Via Rub5120
  • Advertisement
  • 02
    Font - I (f25) have two dogs. 'Abby' (15) and 'Sam' (4). Both were rescues. My boyfriend 'Jim' moved in with me three months ago and I'm losing my mind. Jim had pets growing up and is a self proclaimed 'expert'. Inherently I have no issues with this, but since moving in, he micromanages everything I do with my dogs. Some examples:

    "Inherently I have no issues with this, but since moving in, he micromanages everything I do with my dogs." 

    Annnnnnd that's where you lost us. Since when is it appropriate for one partner to micromanage the other in ANY respect. The answer? Never. Don't worry, controlling bf, your girlfriend will ask for your opinion on HER dogs if she wants it, if not, don't offer. 

    Via Rub5120
  • 03
    Font - • I feed my dogs two meals a day. The first meal is usually in the morning before I start work around 9am. When I'm in the kitchen, the dogs will sit near me and wait until I set the food down. Jim thinks it's selfish of me to make myself a coffee before feeding the dogs, since food > coffee. If I feed them a little later e.g. 9.30am, then he makes small snide comments. He thinks it's easier to feed the dogs first then make myself a coffee and says its an easy, small change.

    "He thinks it's easier to feed the dogs first then make myself a coffee and says it's an easy, small change."

    Well, HE CAN just go think that somewhere else, like at his friend's house where he should be staying for the foreseeable future. 

    Via Rub5120
  • 04
    Organism - Currently, I walk my dogs during my lunch break at 12.30 but Jim thinks I should also take the dogs for a walk first thing in the morning, because they have pent up energy in the morning and would be more relaxed. He cites Sams morning zoomies as boredom and lacking mental stimulation.
    Via Rub5120
  • Advertisement
  • 05
    Font - • I buy Sam toys twice a year (Abby doesn't like them), on her 'birthday' and Christmas. I usually buy them within 6 weeks and shop whatever deal is available, but Jim thinks I should buy them more toys. Since moving in, he's bought around 10 new toys and every time I tell him it's too much, he tells me it's the 'bare minimum' to get toys for your dogs.
    Via Rub5120
  • 06
    Font - I don't take his suggestions and I think it frustrates him. Yesterday, I came home and he tells me we have to talk. I sit down, and kid you not, he begins holding an intervention on my treatment of my pets. Honestly, I lose him. I began shouting and asked him to get out. He told me he was only looking out for me and my dogs, but reluctantly left after refusing for 15 minutes. Animal cruelty is a serious issue, but the micro passive aggressiveness and subtle digs are frustrated, especially

    "Yesterday, I came home and he tells me we have to talk. I sit down, and kid you not, he begins holding an intervention on my treatment of my pets. Honestly, I lose him. I began shouting and asked him to get out. He told me he was only looking out for me and my dogs, but reluctantly left after refusing for 15 minutes."

     

    SIS. You did the right thing, if you ask us anyway. Don't doubt yourself for a moment, you go above and beyond to care for your dogs. How many toys your dogs get, what time they are walked, and when they are fed are YOUR decisions to make and YOURS alone. If your boyfriend wants to assume a more parental role for your doggos, that's a conversation that you need to have together. And a conversation MUST be had before he begins to micromanage the dogs. It's just respectful.

    Via Rub5120
  • 07
    Font - Edit: I was unclear on the pets exercise schedule so here is a comment I replied to. We have a backyard which they have a doggy door and 24/7 access to, I don't make them hold their bladder until then. Apart from sporadic zoomies, the dogs are sleeping on the couch or in the backyard until their first walk. They get two other walks, one around 5 and one before bed. The morning walk (12.30) is about 40-60 mins for Abby and 1.5 hours for Sam. The evening walk we go on a trial at a park near
    Via Rub5120
  • Advertisement
  • 08
    Font - Edit 2: 1. Sam gets more than two toys a year! I just will typically buy them twice a year and shop sales such as buy 1 get 50% off and 'gift' them on birthdays/Christmas because it's fun. We average about 6 new toys a year, but she is a gentle giant and I've only had to throw 1 toy away because she threw up on it and the smell wouldn't go away. I'm not angry that he's buying them toys (though I think the quantity is too much), but because it always becomes a subtle dig to me and he makes
    Via Rub5120
  • 09
    Rectangle - A 15 28 Consistent- & 14 More Professor Emeritass [97] ago NTA. Rehome the bf. 26.4k Reply Share •..
    Via Consistent-
  • 10
    Font - Glass-Trade8008 · 4 days ago Can you imagine what it would be like to have kids with this guy? Yes, rehome him 47 452 Reply Share
    Via Glass-Trade8008
  • Advertisement
  • 11
    Font - GottaloveHim · 4 days ago Yes. You are feeding yourself first (even if its just coffee) then the pet. That is what our trainer said to do to establish pack leadership. If you are not having issues with the dogs, don't change. BF sounds a bit bossy. 4 1.0k Reply Share •••

    For a weekly dose of animal-themed community challenges - Subscribe to our Newsletter!

    Can't get enough of ICanHasCheezburger? Find us on Instagram!

    Via GottaloveHim

For a weekly dose of animal-themed community challenges - Subscribe to our Newsletter!

Can't get enough of ICanHasCheezburger? Find us on Instagram!

Tags

dogs aita thread controlling interesting discussion relationships parenting argument ridiculous reddit thread dog-parenting Reddit
Scroll down for the next article

Also From I Can Has Cheezburger?

Hot Now

20 Of The Cutest Itty Bitty Kitties That Can Easily Fit In The Palm Of Your Hand (September 14, 2024)

20 Of The Cutest Itty Bitty Kitties That Can Easily Fit In The Palm Of Your Hand (September 14, 2024)

01
A Fancy Feast of Feline Feel-Goods for Pet Pawrents That Honor Their Furry Friends (September 14, 2024)

A Fancy Feast of Feline Feel-Goods for Pet Pawrents That Honor Their Furry Friends (September 14, 2024)

02
Stupendous Sploots of The Feline Variety To Bring Some Quality Silliness To Your Screens

Stupendous Sploots of The Feline Variety To Bring Some Quality Silliness To Your Screens

03
28 Full Face Feline Funnies to Give You as Much Concentrated Cute Cats as You Can Handle

28 Full Face Feline Funnies to Give You as Much Concentrated Cute Cats as You Can Handle

04
Hilarious House Cat Escapes into the Neighborhood and Brings Home a Sassy Stray Friend For His Heartwarming Hooman: 'If you're allowed to have a cat, he's allowed to have a cat'

Hilarious House Cat Escapes into the Neighborhood and Brings Home a Sassy Stray Friend For His Heartwarming Hooman: 'If you're allowed to have a cat, he's allowed to have a cat'

05
This Week’s Heartwarming Helping of Newly Adopted Cats for Fresh Feline Pawrents (September 13, 2024)

This Week’s Heartwarming Helping of Newly Adopted Cats for Fresh Feline Pawrents (September 13, 2024)

06
Advertisement