Man Ignores Introverted Girlfriend's Request For Private Proposal

People have different preferences, and that's okay. If someone's preferences don't align with someone else's when it comes to a restaurant, they talk it out until they come to a conclusion about what works for both of them so they'll both be excited about going out that night. A lot of the time, significant others have different preferences, but the key to working it out is proper communication, which is more complicated than we think it is at first. In today's 'Am I The A$$hole?' post, OP revealed that she wasn't happy with how her proposal went down. Apparently, she'd expressed to her significant other that she wanted a private proposal several times, and he didn't seem to have any issues with it. She described herself as an introvert, so she told him she preferred to celebrate with friends and family afterward. That's why when he finally proposed, she was shocked and disappointed to discover that he had invited his friends to the proposal, some of which she didn't even know. When she expressed to him that she was disappointed with how he decided to propose, he told her she was acting childish because it wasn't about her. We're super confused as to why he didn't express that he wanted people at the proposal earlier. 

Author image for abbyadler abbyadler
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  • 01
    Human body - Posted by u/jessie1091 21 hours ago AITA for not liking my proposal?
    via u/jessie1091

    When we first read this on Reddit, we knew there was going to be so much to unpack here. At first, it sounds like OP didn't appreciate all the effort her significant other put into the proposal for her, which paints her in a bad light. However, once we found out that he asked her what she wanted for the proposal only to disregard it for what he wanted, the true bad guy is revealed. We don't get what the point in asking her was if he wasn't going to listen. It's honestly a red flag in our books, but that's none of our business. 

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  • 02
    Font - My (29f) fiance (32m) recently proposed to me about 2 weeks ago. We've been together for about 3 years. I always told him that I wanted just the two of us there when he proposed, simply because I don't like the attention on me in public settings.
    via u/jessie1091

    Even though we wouldn't describe ourselves as introverts, we totally get where she's coming from. It's supposed to be a special, intimate moment between two people who are promising to love each other forever. There's no need for other people to be there. We get that the couple may want to celebrate with their friends and family, but they could always celebrate with them after the actual proposal. We have no idea why OP's fiance decided to take matters into his own hands without consulting with her first when she clearly expressed what her dream proposal looked like. 

  • 03
    Font - On the day he proposed, he had multiple friends there, some of which I never even met, and I was pretty upset about it. Yes I love him, but he disregarded my wishes and I really didn't get to enjoy the moment as I always imagined.
    via u/jessie1091
  • 04
    Font - When I brought it up after the fact as to why he didn't have just us there, he said that he always wanted his closest friends/family there to share the moment, and he was upset with me and said it was his moment too. However, I said when we spoke before he never
    via u/jessie1091
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  • 05
    Font - once said anything about it and said that I never asked what he wanted for the proposal. It got heated regarding who was present. I honestly felt like it was unfair to change what I always told him I would like to what he wanted, especially since he knew I am more
    via u/jessie1091
  • 06
    Font - introverted and prefer not being the center of attention. When I said that, he told me I need to grow up and that it's not about me.
    via u/jessie1091
  • 07
    Font - AITA for not liking how he proposed and for being upset about it? Edit He also had his parents there, and not mine.
    via u/jessie1091
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  • 08
    Font - He also asked me multiple times how I envisioned him proposing, and I always said private with us, and then celebrating with family and friends right after to announce. As a note, I never expected anything big or fancy. I always joked with him and said if we were running
    via u/jessie1091
  • 09
    Font - down the stairs, and we fell and were laughing, and he proposed right there and then, it would always be a yes bc all I needed was him. Not once did he say he wouldn't do a private proposal or something with just us.
    via u/jessie1091
  • 10
    Font - Also, just to add in, he has always treated me well. It's just difficult to navigate this because of our differing opinions, and him telling me I am wrong for feeling this way.
    via u/jessie1091
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  • 11
    Font - nousernamefound1 Asshole Aficionado [10] hr. ago You should seriouslý consider if you really want to marry him. Your communication as a couple seems terrible. And he knowlingly disrespected your wishes in an important moment for both of your lives. He should have told you his opinion when you previously discussed this, so you could have come up with a compromise together. So I'm going with NTA
    via u/jessie1091
  • 12
    Font - HeartpineFloors · 20 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [7] And why DIDN'T he speak up? He's obviously not a shy, sensitive soul so I'm not buying the whole "you didn't ask" nonsense. He didn't speak up because he wasn't interested in having an adult conversation or compromising. Nope. He was always gonna do what HE wanted to do and that will likely be his policy going forward.
    via u/jessie1091

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