The Astrological Signs as Popular Fast Food Restaurants

We love to see people get into a tizzy over astrological memes and designations, so you can imagine our delight at coming across this Facebook post from Mela Golden's page assigning the signs of the zodiac to popular fast food restaurant chains. It's hard not to be opinionated where these restaurants are concerned: they're (usually) pretty affordable and accessible, so a huge percentage of the population has developed a preference (and sometimes hatred) for these establishments. For example, while I'll never be seen in a Chick-Fil-A, I have celebrated more than one anniversary chowing down on Popeyes fried chicken and sandwiches. These preferences definitely cause some arguments at parties. Now, thanks to Mela Golden's mind, we can argue over whether or not each of these chains actually represents our sun (or rising) signs.

Posted by Ada Elder

1
In-N-Out // Libra

"IN-N-OUT is a Libra. IN-N-OUT is one of the only fast food places where people go to take pictures. The vanity of it all is very fitting for a Libra. This restaurant is overrated but will forever be popular because it's a cool place and only has four things on the menu so it's easy to order. Similar to a Libra they are cool but not much goes on in their empty airheads so they are easy to talk to. Much like lying Libra's... everyone lies as if IN-N-OUT is good."
Shots fired! But we have to agree that In-N-Out is overrated - especially their fries!

Via Mela Golden
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2
Dunkin' - Aquarius

"This popular donut shop is a spunky Aquarius. Dunkin' Donuts is colorful and fun. Sometimes they give you the best donuts and iced coffee you have ever had then the next day they give you stale donuts and watered down coffee. Just like a mood swinging Aquarius. You never know what you are getting. It's always a hit or miss with them. You still always go because when it is good…. It's very good. Much like friendships/relationships with an Aquarius."
No arguments here! We've had that watered down coffee, but we've also had giant, icy cups of strong, heart palpitation-inducing goodness. And if you haven't tried the cornbread donut, you probably should.

Via Mela Golden
3
McDonald's // Gemini

"McDonald's is a Gemini. This is one of the most popular fast-food chains even though it gets a lot of hate and people claim to not eat there McDonald's still gets tons of business. This is the epitome of a Gemini. People don't eat at McDonald's because they have the best food or the best customer service they eat at McDonald's because it brings out their inner childhood. They remember as a kid they loved McDonald's and eating there gives them that childhood comfort. This is similar to being friends with a Gemini. They bring out your inner child and even if you hate their other qualities they will always have special place in your heart. When eating McDonald's you think you are getting beef but it may be horse meat. Same with a Gemini. You think you are getting the nice twin but the evil twin might come out."

Via Mela Golden
4
Waffle House // Aries

"The Waffle House is an Aries. Chaotic, disorderly, and wild. You never know if you are getting a nice time with them or a fight. Actually the fighting is what makes it a great time. The food isn't the best at all but the vibes is always there, just like an Aries. You get your food quick not much of a wait. Similar to an impatient Aries who likes to make decisions quickly and live a more fast paced life. To work in a Waffle House you have to know how to fight. Same if you are friends with an aggressive Aries. Be prepared to fight or deescalate a fight."
Aaaand this is why I don't go to Waffle House or date Aries dudes.

Via Mela Golden
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5
Taco Bell // Sagittarius

"Taco Bell is a Sagittarius because it's only good when you are drunk. Any other time It's too much, just like a sag. They are fun but they don't know how to chill out sometimes. Taco Bell always taking the best things off the menu. Just like a Sagittarius will literally disappear without a word then come back in your life out the blue ready to communicate and have fun. Anytime you eat at Taco Bell you start shitting for hours and regret it but you still eat it again because you had a good time doing it. Similar to being friends with a Sag. They will have you doing things you regret but you will enjoy it in the moment. "

Via Mela Golden
6
Chick-Fil-A // Capricorn

"Chick-Fil-A is a Capricorn. This popular fast-food chain is obviously a Capricorn. A perfectionist, traditional, and structured. Yes, much like Capricorns they may have stupid opinions that are outdated and offensive but everybody still fucks with them because they get the job done. You don't have to double back because they get it right the first time. Capricorns think God left them in charge and so does Chick-Fil-A."

Via Mela Golden
7
Popeyes // Pisces

"Popeyes is a Pisces! Make sense Popeyes is tied to Louisiana and Pisces are natural born psychics. Popeyes gives you comfort food but if you eat too much you end up with high blood pressure. Same with Pisces they will make you feel at home and comfort you but they can be overbearing. Popeyes is always out of something or forget to give you the extra Jalapeños you asked for. Similar to Pisces…It's like everything can be so good but they just make things difficult that should be an easy process."

Via Mela Golden
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8
Starbucks // Leo

Starbucks is a Leo because it is the most popular for doing the bare minimum. Starbucks is all about the aesthetic so it being a Leo is pretty self explanatory. Starbucks slogan is "It's not just coffee, it's Starbucks" gives very much Leo energy. Leo's think they are the ???????????? of humans and Starbucks thinks they are the ???????????? of coffees.

Via Mela Golden
9
Five Guys // Scorpio

"Five Guys is of course a Scorpio. It's very mysterious and secretive like a Scorpio. A lot of people have never been to Five Guys but have heard good things about it. People who eat at this restaurant love it but don't go often because it cost too much. Same with Scorpio's… if you want to get to know them it will cost you your soul. Five Guys fries is always salty and so are ScorpiHoes."

Via Mela Golden
10
IHOP - Cancer

"I-Hop is a Cancer all the way. Cancers are family oriented and I-Hop is a restaurant known for families to go to. Also known for pancakes with is comfort food and Cancers are comforting. Their slogan is "Come hungry, leave happy" That's what Cancers literally try do do. Make everyone happy. However, you may have a rude waitress that will kill the vibe which is fitting because Cancers are known for killing the vibes with their emotional crybaby asses."

Via Mela Golden
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11
Denny's - Taurus

"Denny's is of course a Taurus. This classic restaurant is old school, reliable, and boring just like a Taurus. At Denny's you really only like one thing and know what you are getting each time. Taurus love sticking to the same routine. They find comfort in structure. Similar to Denny's it gives the same thing every single time. Taurus friends are the parents of the group and Denny's is like the grandma of chain restaurants. Denny's and Taurus give the same boring old vibe."
Ouch.

Via Mela Golden
12
Chipotle // Virgo

"Chipotle is definitely a Virgo. They assume they are always right and don't compromise. Just like when you ask for extra chicken they won't really give it to you because they feel they know they are right and know what they are doing and don't need your opinion on how to make your food. There is no drive thru because just like Virgo's they love to inconvenience people. The food is great and they have some healthier alternatives which is right up health freaks Virgo's alley."

Via Mela Golden
Well, there we have it. These designations are obviously going to ruffle some feathers, so please remember this is all in good fun.