Bridesmaid Demands Separate Table At Wedding, Leaves Bride Fuming

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juliamal
Jul 17, 2022 5:00 PM EDT

Wedding season is upon us, and with wedding season comes wedding drama. Like people who think they should wear a long white dress as a guest to a wedding, people unhappy with the food and bar arrangements, and in this case, a bridesmaid who is unhappy with the seating arrangements.

At the end of the day, you hopefully aren't sitting the entire wedding. It's really just a meal, but some people will always have a bone to pick. In today's Am I The A$$hole, this soon-to-be bride asks if she's an a$$hole for not letting her bridesmaid have her own sweethearts table when even she and her groom won't be having one. Would it be weird to let a couple have a sweethearts table at your own wedding? Is it appropriate to ask this of the bride? Read below for more context and let us know what you think. 

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  • 01
    Font - r/AmItheAsshole Posted by u/xSaffax 9 hours ago WIBTA if I don't have a separate table at my wedding for 1 bridesmaid? So I'm getting married in 3 months. I have 3 bridesmaids and 1 MOH. I was talking about seating arrangements with one of my bridesmaids and mentioned that there is only enough space for the bridal party at the main table and that we had a table near the front for all of their partners. She told me she wasn't comfortable with this, that if they couldn't sit at the main tab
    via u/xSaffax

    Sounds like a sticky situation, OP

  • 02
    Font - A) Our own sweetheart table isn't an option as my partner is very shy and needs the 'buffer' of having other people with him so that he doesn't feel too overwhelmed by the attention, and his comfort is more important to me than anything. B) So after speaking with my bridesmaids we decided on knee length or longer black dresses for them as most of them already have these, in styles they liked. I didn't want to make them have any extra costs by having to buy dresses they would only wear onc
    via u/xSaffax
  • 03
    Font - Mundane_Marsupial_61 - 9 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [7] ΝΤΑ Having the bridal party sit at a big table is normal for weddings. I mean the only part where they would actually have to be away from each other is during the actual diner. After that she's free to move around mingle and but her stuff next to his if that makes her happy. 3.8k Reply Share
    via u/Mundane_Marsupial_61
  • 04
    Plant - TeachingDazzling1018.9 hr. ago Tell her ok. Then put a child's table and chair in a far corner with some crayons and paper on it. ↑ 1.0k Reply Share
    via u/TeachingDazzling1018
  • 05
    Font - LisaW481 9 hr. ago Asshole Aficionado [19] NTA sweetheart tables are awesome but it's where the married couple would sit. Is your friend planning on getting engaged at your reception or something? Reply Share 619
    via u/LisaW481
  • 06
    Font - SheWhoIs Me 9 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA. Your bridesmaid is the asshole. This is your wedding, not hers. My husband was his brothers best man, and at that wedding, he say at the main table, and I didn't. I survived. 297 Reply Share
    via u/SheWhoIsMe
  • 07
    Font - Malibucat48 - 9 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [5] NTA If she can't sit without him, they both can stay home. I'm against bridezillas, but bridesmaidzillas are definitely not happening. Reply Share 203
    via u/Malibucat48
  • 08
    Font - bluegreentech 9 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [6] ΝΤΑ You are being reasonable; she's being selfish and thinks she should get special treatment. Maybe offer to let her bow out. (You don't want an unhappy person in your wedding party.) Tell her you wouldn't want your wedding to be an unhappy experience for her. 158 Reply Share
    via u/bluegreentech
  • 09
    Font - danigirl866 9 hr. ago Partassipant [2] NTA. It's one meal and then usually mingling and dancing. Sweethearts tables are for bride and groom. It would look odd and quite frankly, stupid to do it for just her. That could create issues if the other bridesmaids want it then too. Your wedding, it's not unreasonable, she's being a diva. 95 Reply Share
    via u/danigirl866
  • 10
    Font - joefitts63 9 hr. ago Funny, I thought weddings were about the bride. This bridesmaid seems to think it is about her. NTA. 82 Reply Share
    via u/joefitts63
  • 11
    Font - Mehitabel9 9 hr. ago Hot damn, I hate weddings. Or rather, I hate the way people behave at weddings. Your bridesmaid is being a bridesmaidzilla. NTA for holding the line on this one. Having just one sweetheart table for one bridesmaid who apparently can't manage to sit for an hour and eat a meal without being attached at the hip to her boyfriend is a ridiculous demand for her to make. Reply Share 67
    via u/Mehitabel9
  • 12
    Font - blackley_jones. 9 hr. ago Asshole Enthusiast [8] NTA and what the crap is wrong with her? The wedding party sits at a specific table, typically without their partners unless both are in one party Reply Share 47
    via u/blackley_jones
  • 13
    Font - Forsaken-Revenue-628 9 hr. ago nta. why the hell does she want her own table. you are the bride. if she can't sit without her partner she can sit at partner table like you offered. it's customary for only bridesmaids etc to sit at main. not always but friends in size of bridal party. weird that she wants her own bride table 42 Reply Share
    via u/Forsaken-Revenue-628
  • 14
    Font - ehumanbeing 8 hr. ago NTA. Sweetheart tables are for the bride and groom if they are used. 47 Reply Share
    via u/ehumanbeing
  • 15
    Font - CatJudgement - 9 hr. ago Pooperintendant [55] NTA, But it's an easy fix. She goes from bridesmaid to guest. Now there's room. 37 Reply Share
    via u/CatJudgement
  • 16
    Font - - 9 hr. ago No, a 'sweetheart' table won't draw attention away from the bride and groom at all....... alien_overlord_1001 NTA - this person is being ridiculous. Its a dinner - once dinner is over, everyone will start wandering around - it won't matter where your 'official' place was to eat. 35 35 Reply Share
    via u/alien_overlord_1001
  • 17
    Font - fromhelley 8 hr. ago Congratulations! Nta! For her to have a sweetheart table, without the same for the others, would be awkward. She should sit with the wedding party, as is tradition. I think the offer for her to sit at the couples tables was a good compromise. And I have to ask if the couples tables she is choosing are even available through your venue or caterer. If not, does she expect you to buy it?? I would just tell her the sweetheart table will throw off the balance of the seatin
    via u/fromhelley
  • 18
    Font - Quirky-Manager819 - 9 hr. ago I've never been a bridesmaid where the SO of the attendants sat at the bridal table. Either it was just the bride and groom or the couple and attendants. If it's going to be an issue, change it so only bride, groom, honor attendants are at the main table and all other attendants are at tables up front with their SO. But that's just my opinion. Nta, this bridesmaid is stressing me out. I can't imagine your frustrations 23 Reply Share
    via u/Quirky-Manager819
  • 19
    Font - TeachingDazzling1018 · 9 hr. ago It's your wedding and she's being annoying. NTA 4 18 ↓ Reply Share
    via u/TeachingDazzling1018
  • 20
    Font - poetic_justice987 - 9 hr. ago Partassipant [1] NTA-it's totally normal to have the bridal party alone at the head table. You've offered perfectly reasonable options the sweetheart table is reserved for the bride and groom. 19 Reply Share ...
    via u/poetic_justice987

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