Single Father Ditches Sister's Wedding After She Repeatedly Deadnames His Trans Son
As trans visibility increases, one would think that the reception for people coming out as trans would be a little less negative. I've found that my trans friends have been met with loads of understanding and support after coming out. Unfortunately, it's not always easy for families of trans people to afford the same grace. While in the worst-case scenarios, trans people are abandoned or even attacked by their close-minded families, indifference or selective acceptance can be almost as damaging.
For every supportive parent, there's another (or a grandparent, aunt, or uncle) who can't bring themselves to treat their trans kin the way they deserve. One doting single father describes this exact situation in a recent post in the r/AmITheAsshole subreddit. In the post, OP asks the community whether he's "the asshole" for storming off from his sister's wedding after she deadnamed his trans son, Connor.
For those who are unaware, "deadnaming" is the act of using a trans person's pre-transition name. In this case, Connor's deadname is Nia.
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Dad explains that while his trans son has socially transitioned, he had not physically. And while much his family seemed to have mixed reactions to Connor's transformation, his sister seemed pretty indifferent about it. Until her wedding.
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When it came time to figure out wedding outfits, OP's sister asked where “Nia's” dress was. This was the first time she deadnamed the teenager. After her brother firmly stated that Connor would be wearing the same outfit as the rest of the men in the family, the bridezilla responded with a very brief “fine.”
Spoiler alert: It was not “fine”.
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The last straw came when the family realized Connor's seating card sported his deadname. Needless to say, Dad did not take kindly to this - or his sister's callous and uncaring response. OP ended up leaving with his sons, a move that makes even more sense when you know that his sister had retorted that “Nia can be a guy any other day.” In a total Chad move, he even called her out for being a bigot.
When his family told him that he'd ruined his sister's wedding, it seems OP began to doubt his actions. But there was no need. The findings of the community were a pretty unanimous “NTA,” with users chiming in to praise OP for his amazingly supportive actions.
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It's hard to be a single parent, and we'd wager it's even harder to be a single parent of a trans kid. This dude is definitely doing something right.
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