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Vans Employees Guess What You Look Like Based on Your Choice of Shoe (July 20, 2022)

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    Country Club Douche

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    Although white shoes are traditionally reserved for women, men, particularly men who wear pastel colors, oftentimes will sport these charming looking low tops. As long as it's before Labor Day, every Chad and Preston west of the Eastern Seaboard is rocking these kicks. 

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  • 2

    Sorority Queen

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    As we mentioned before, white vans are for the ladies. However, there's a specific white van that every 18 year old that hopes to rush Alpha Kappa Kappa must get her hands on: The White Slip Ons. Jennifer said that if we don't all have brand new white slide on Vans, we're going to have to drop out of Delta Gamma Torahs end-of-the-summer party. Do you want that Vanessa? WE HAVE TO BE MATCHING. 

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    The Funky Child

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    There was always that one kid in class who got new shoes just in time for the first day of school. That child wore these shoes. The Van that's flashier then all the rest, while still being an affordable canvas sneaker is the top pick for every fashionable child who's parents loved them. If you didn't have these primary color patch-work wonders, you probably weren't that cool.

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    Dave the Dad

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    This man brings the Gatorade to every soccer match and embarrassed his daughter at homecoming by dropping her off too close to the entrance of the dance. Dave the Dad chooses a shoe that's easy to put on (and take off) and that goes with every blue t-shirt he owns. The medium blue slide-on Van is also a perfect match with casual cargos, grilling aprons, and a Budweiser. 

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  • 5

    The Scene-ish Emo Guy

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    Maybe he's a bassist in a metal band? Maybe he's a full-time gamer? Maybe he's a furry on the weekends? We don't know. All we know is that if you have facial piercings, colored hair, and copious black eyeliner on, you're going to have to go with the high top black-on-black vans. 

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    FULL VIDEO

    Here's the full video for your viewing pleasure. You can make up your own mind about Vans stereotypes, but Allie certainly would be the expert. She has seen far too many Dave's walk into her store and pick the same blue slider. 

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    Allie's Other Vans-Related Videos

    Curious about more Vans-employee opinions? 

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