Irrational Grandmother Insists On Taking Her Terminally Ill Granddaughter On A Trip Without Her Parents' Permission

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abbyadler
Aug 11, 2022 6:00 PM EDT

Parents generally go above and beyond to protect their children. They say it's something you won't understand until you become a parent yourself, and we definitely believe them. One of the main points of parenting is caring and giving to someone other than yourself. It makes sense that people who intentionally became parents would. In today's 'Am I the A$$hole?' post, OP is extremely concerned over the fact that her mother-in-law planned a trip with her terminally ill daughter without consulting the parents first. When OP and her husband insisted on coming, her MIL got upset and said the trip was only meant to be for the granddaughter and MIL's husband. Even if OP's daughter wasn't terminally ill, it still should be the parents' decision. The MIL is engaging in some super shady behavior, and we want to figure out exactly what she's up to. Scroll down to see what the Redditors had to say about this family drama. 

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  • 01
    Rectangle - Posted by u/melodybeepbop92 28 13 21 15 hours ago 4 AITA for telling my mother in law my toddler will not be going with her on a vacation she planned without asking?
    via u/melodybeepbop92

    It's so strange that OP's MIL didn't ask for permission. Talk about controlling. 

  • 02
    Font - I have an almost three year old beautiful little girl. She's just a few weeks shy of her third birthday. My baby was out in hospice four weeks ago after having gone into remission late May. Unfortunately, the cancer has returned except it is now crushing her optic nerve and is about 8cm long. Multiple doctors recommended we make our daughter as comfortable as possible as they do not believe removing the tumor is a good option. I have so much to say in regards to her diagnosis but heartbro
    via u/melodybeepbop92

    This is absolutely heartbreaking. It's quite clear that the toddler should definitely not be traveling right now, especially without her parents. 

  • 03
    Font - My husband and I have been making tons of memories with her for the past few weeks. We've included family in some of these memories but we both feel that we want to spend as much time with our daughter as possible. My mother in law called me yesterday to tell me she booked tickets/hotel/airfare for a trip next month. I thought it sounded fun until she said she was taking our toddler with her. Just her, my daughter, and her husband. She did not invite my husband and I.
    via u/melodybeepbop92
  • 04
    Organism - My daughter isn't even three yet. She has never stayed overnight anywhere and mother in law wants to take her for one entire week across the country, alone. I suggested that my husband and I both go that way our daughter is comfortable and for gods sake in the event she dies? She can't be gone for a week. Her nurses are here. Her care is here.
    via u/melodybeepbop92
  • 05
    Rectangle - I suggested what if we all go for a shorter amount of time. I came up with various suggestions to which all were turned down. I should add that if my daughter was not in hospice I still would not be comfortable with our toddler being across the country for a week alone without her parents. My child being in hospice adds another layer of complexity to the situation.
    via u/melodybeepbop92
  • 06
    Font - I told my mother in law that her decisions that she made alone without consulting us was a solid no. She called me a few names and hung up on me. She then called my husband and called me a few names and suggested she would fight for rights before my daughter dies.
    via u/melodybeepbop92
  • 07
    Human body - I'm already grieving. My husband said we should acquiesce to his mothers trip to avoid drama (even though he agrees that our daughter is too young). But I want to spend time with her before the cancer takes her, she's too little etc. I said no for various reasons not just to say no.
    via u/melodybeepbop92
  • 08
    Font - Nyx_Shadowspawn. 11 hr. ago Partassipant [2] They've all gone insane. Hard NTA. Taking your toddler daughter away from her parents and comfortable familiar environment while she is literally dying would be downright cruel. I wouldn't let my perfectly healthy toddler go on an across the country trip in which I wasn't invited either, and that she's so adamant about the parents not coming makes me question her motives on the trip. Is she trying to take your daughter to some kind of treatment
    via u/Nyx_Shadowspawn
  • 09
    Font - Resting_Beauty_Face 10 hr. ago I would never be able to look at my husband the same way after seeing him be such a coward. Their daughter is dying and he's worried about not upsetting his mother. OP is right to not want her daughter to be far away and without her parents for the first time. The daughter could literally have her last day without her parents because her grandmother is selfish.
    via u/Resting_Beauty_Face
  • 10
    Human body - WhizzoButterBoy 13 hr. ago NTA. Your MIL wants to take 7 days Of the precious time your daughter has left away from you. No No No No
    via u/WhizzoButterBoy
  • 11
    Font - KrazyKatnip 12 hr. ago 2 2 32 I'd suggest discussing it with your hospice doctor. There's no way they would condone this trip, and would likely be glad to discuss it with your in-laws. Hospice employees tend to be super focused on the patient's well being, and supporting the immediate family through what is one of the most difficult times they will face. Sending positive thoughts to you and your daughter.
    via u/KrazyKatnip
  • 12
    Font - pineboxwaiting 15 hr. ago Professor Emeritass [70] ΝΤΑ 183 & 2 More Nope. Just no. She wants to take your terminally ill daughter across the country for 7 days? And your husband would rather go along with it than tell his mommy no? Has everyone in your life lost their damned minds ?!? Absolutely not. Your daughter isn't going anywhere without you. Period.
    via u/pineboxwaiting

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aita cancer mother in law family grandmother
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