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01
LOADING: Jumanji Beard and Monkey Hoard
Honestly, compared to the real world, the board game horror come to life doesn't sound all that bad. Crocodiles might eat you and monkeys are constantly screeching outside, but at least you can be a homeowner.
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02
Drunk Guy Get's Removed From a Bar In The Most Embarassing Way
The security guard picks this little guy up like he's a two-year-old throwing a tantrum. Granted, isn't that exactly was a small, belligerent drunk man is? Time for a time out mister.
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03
Employee Appreciation At Its Finest
Wow thanks for nothing. Could we maybe get health care or a 401k ? We'll even settle for a pizza party at this point.
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04
Freedom Is The Ability To Die On Your Own Terms
I've never felt more free than when I received a $35,000 hospital bill for a broken pinky finger. God bless America
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05
I wanna go home
Life is just looking less like a baja blast these days and more like a baja bummer.
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06
Climate Change Prevention 101
We're all out here just trying to do our best for the Earth's sake, aren't' we? Oh wait, maybe I'm alone with my paper straw and my bamboo tooth brush, doing almost literally nothing in comparison to the mega corporations an 1% billionaires. At least my coffee cup is recyclable.
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07
100 is the new 30
Well, once you turn 30, your body starts reminding you of all the ways you would have died before modern medicine. Does your tummy hurt? Is your neck cranked? You have back compression again? That's just your body telling you that it's time to go. Pop some ibuprofen right now.
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08
Childhood Ruined
This childhood staple movie taught us that if we just stop giving a crap, the world and its horrors will simply work itself out. Doesn't matter that you're fatherless and fleeing from a power-hungry mass murderer, just chill out.
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09
No, I would not like to donate
Should we feel bad about this one? Definitely not. Most grocery stores and corporations take what people donate at the register and donate it all as a lump sum under the company's name so they can receive a huge tax write off. Faith in humanity NOT restored.
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10
Housing Crisis Drama
Can't afford to rent? Why don't you just suck it up and buy 6-figures out of your budget! No lowball offers, we know what we got.
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11
Stuart Little Hit Too Close to Home
Sure, it was a fictional movie, but if this is not indicative of modern society, I don't know what is. There's so many childless adults these days who would simply rather have a short-lived rodent that is easy to care for and loves you unconditionally, versus a screaming child that needs constant care, attention, and money for two decades.
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12
Christ is OTW
Honestly, at this point in humanity, maybe it's just Rapture time.
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