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01
I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days.
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02
Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.
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03
Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.
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04
I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter none of them work.
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05
Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
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06
When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.
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07
I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.
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08
I am on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.
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09
Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!
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10
A book just fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame.
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11
I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter none of them work.
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12
A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are sketchy.
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13
I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.
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14
I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..
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15
I hate insects puns, they really bug me.
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16
What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.
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17
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
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18
Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.
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19
Friends are like boobs. Some big,some small. Some real, some fake.
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20
Friends are like boobs. Some big,some small. Some real, some fake.
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21
How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It's not hard.
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22
I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.
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23
What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic
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24
My math teacher called me average. How mean!
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25
I am so poor I can't even pay attention.
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26
I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.