Puns are Fun So Here's a Ton

• 1
  

  I'm emotionally constipated. I haven't given a shit in days.

  Via avanishprajapati
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• 2
  

  Thieves had broken into my house and stolen everything except my soap, shower gel, towels and deodorant. Dirty Bastards.

  Via avanishprajapati
• 3
  

  Did you hear about the Italian chef with a terminal illness? He pastaway.

  Via avanishprajapati
• 4
  

  I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter none of them work.

  Via avanishprajapati
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• 5
  

  Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

  Via avanishprajapati
• 6
  

  When I get naked in the bathroom, the shower usually gets turned on.

  Via avanishprajapati
• 7
  

  I'm glad I know sign language, it's pretty handy.

  Via avanishprajapati
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• 8
  

  I am on a seafood diet. Every time I see food, I eat it.

  Via avanishprajapati
• 9
  

  Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door? He wanted to win the No-bell prize!

  Via avanishprajapati
• 10
  

  A book just fell on my head. I've only got myshelf to blame.

  Via avanishprajapati
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• 11
  

  I have a few jokes about unemployed people but it doesn't matter none of them work.

  Via avanishprajapati
• 12
  

  A courtroom artist was arrested today for an unknown reason... details are sketchy.

  Via avanishprajapati
• 13
  

  I'm no photographer, but I can picture us together.

  Via avanishprajapati
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• 14
  

  I wanna make a joke about sodium, but Na..

  Via avanishprajapati
• 15
  

  I hate insects puns, they really bug me.

  Via avanishprajapati
• 16
  

  What do prisoners use to call each other? Cell phones.

  Via avanishprajapati
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• 17
  

  Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.

  Via avanishprajapati
• 18
  

  Why did the bee get married? Because he found his honey.

  Via avanishprajapati
• 19
  

  Friends are like boobs. Some big,some small. Some real, some fake.

  Via avanishprajapati
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• 20
  

  Friends are like boobs. Some big,some small. Some real, some fake.

  Via avanishprajapati
• 21
  

  How can you spot the blind guy at the nudist colony? It's not hard.

  Via avanishprajapati
• 22
  

  I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

  Via avanishprajapati
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• 23
  

  What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus? Claustrophobic

  Via avanishprajapati
• 24
  

  My math teacher called me average. How mean!

  Via avanishprajapati
• 25
  

  I am so poor I can't even pay attention.

  Via avanishprajapati
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• 26
  

  I saw an ad for burial plots, and thought to myself this is the last thing I need.

  Via avanishprajapati

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