40+ People who shared their wildest confessions anonymously

Author image for Remy Millisky
Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Dec 10, 2022 5:00 PM EST

Would you confess your deepest, darkest, or most embarrassing secret if you knew you could do so anonymously? That's the idea behind Fesshole, a British Twitter page where people can submit their closest kept secrets without risk of anyone finding out. There are some absolutely insane confessions here - and we've picked 40+ of the wildest ones to give you a peek into these strangers' lives. Who knows, maybe you've even done some of these things yourself! 

Scroll down to lay eyes on these secrety secrets, then check out these pets who got the worst haircuts ever and are pretty confused about it. 

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  • 01
    Organism - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole : Every time I fly I tell the air hosts I'm allergic to nuts so no one eats them. Even though I'm not I just can't stand the smell of them.
    via Kristina Flour on Unsplash
  • 02

    With this Twitter account, people can anonymously submit their secrets.

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Badly scraped the side of my flatmates brand new, very expensive car when moving it to make room for my own car. Never told him and listened for days to him contacting all of the car parks he'd been in recently asking for CCTV.
    via fesshole
  • 03

    If it wasn't anonymous, no one would ever fess up to the insane things below...

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I work at a posh school that requires us to wear academic gowns on occasions. All the other staff spent hundreds of pounds on theirs. I bought a cape from a magic shop.
    via fesshole
  • 04
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole : We've lived in our current house for 2 months. My husband refuses to learn how to use the heating. If he's cold he just asks me to turn it on. I now refuse even if I am also cold.
    via fesshole
  • 05
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole An old woman sat in our pre-booked seats on train, wouldn't shift. Husband and kids got moved to First Class but I stayed as I'd noticed her shopping under table. Spent the journey from London to Peterborough chewing gum and disposing of it in her brand new clothes.
    via fesshole
  • 06
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole ●●● After being unfairly charged a £20 penalty for travelling without a train ticket - office closed, machine broken - I now go out of my way to take small ticketless journeys to recoup my loss
    via fesshole
  • 07
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole The letters "LP" appeared in yellow spray paint up and down our street one afternoon. My pal reckoned they were for new lamp posts and we wondered what would happen if we added a few more. 30 years later the street still has a ridiculous amount of lighting.
    via fesshole
  • 08

    This is so unhinged

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole A woman who always argues in the local FB groups posted her address looking for her parcel. So I clicked on her profile, found her partner's name & sent him a Moonpig greetings card thanking him for a wonderful night & couldn't wait to see him again
    via fesshole
  • 09
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Many years ago I nipped into our local Woolworths to buy a plunger for my clogged kitchen sink. They were only 99p, so I tested one out by plunging it on the shop floor. It stuck fast, and I couldn't get it off, so I left it there in the middle of the aisle and legged it!
    via fesshole
  • 10

    Diet hack

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole If I eat food with chopsticks I consider it in line with my diet because it takes me longer to eat and so I eat less. My latest accomplishment is a full English for dinner
    via fesshole
  • 11
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole My mom died owning a timeshare which are money pits and notoriously difficult to get rid of. So I called them and told them she died then logged on and changed the address to another lady with her same name living elsewhere.
    via fesshole
  • 12
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole ●●● I do stand up professionally. I don't like being on stage at all, even when it's going well. being a comedian makes me very anxious, stressed and unhappy. I just love being around comics, having loads of free time and not having a boss
    via fesshole
  • 13
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole : I have a secret code word that only I know, in case I meet my time-travelling future self and have to confirm my future self's identity. I've kept it secret for 20 years.
    via fesshole
  • 14

    WOW this one is shockingly devious

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I own a restaurant. When starting up I would make ghost bookings at all the restaurants nearby. They would turn away customers saving space for my fake bookings. Those extra customers might have kept me afloat in the beginning.
    via fesshole
  • 15
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I saw a young shop-assistant looking very miserable one time, she no lunch money. Her boss promised to pay for it if she could solve a Rubik's cube, which she couldn't hence her being sad. So I solved it for her. I always wonder if he ever did pay for her meal.
    via fesshole
  • 16

    Straight to jail

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Sometimes I'll go to the kitchen at work to make a tea. I'm not particularly keen on hot drinks, but it's an excellent place to let out all my accrued farts
    via fesshole
  • 17
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole If I realise I'm walking in the wrong direction, rather than just turn around, I stop, look at my watch, move my head from side to side like I'm weighing up whether I have enough time to go wherever it is I'm pretending to go, pull a face, nod my head decisively, and turn around.
    via fesshole
  • 18
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole The wife and I work from home, but in separate rooms. Every time I hear her door open I drop my phone that I've been casually browsing Reddit on for the last 45 minutes and pretend to work as if she's my boss.
    via fesshole
  • 19
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole My awful neighbour is an unregistered car dealer from his home address. Whenever he parks his cars for sale on the road I immediately report them to the Council as abandoned vehicles.
    via fesshole
  • 20
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole My wife bought a box of biscuits for Xmas. I carefully broke the seal and ate all of the top layer. When she eventually opened them she was appalled to see only half the biscuits there and stomped back to the supermarket where she received a full refund and another box. :
    via fesshole
  • 21
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole When I see people asking for money online and posting their Cash App details I will go and request $25 from them for the audacity.
    via fesshole
  • 22

    I'm dying to know what podcast it is!

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I once hosted a popular podcast. I found out years later that we were reading the listenership figures wrong and we actually had a small listenership, meaning our agent, book deal, sponsorship deals and my subsequent job in social media were all based on a fib.
    via fesshole
  • 23
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole While at college in the mid 90's I got a part time job in a local nightclub collecting glasses, armed every weekend with my maglite torch I made an absolute fortune finding coins and notes on the floor in front of the bars. I kept the cash to myself.
    via fesshole
  • 24
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Whenever I get onto a busy train and some inconsiderate b has put their bag on a seat, hoping that nobody will ask them to move it, I purposefully seek them out hoping I ruin their journey and make them hate me in their heads.
    via fesshole
  • 25

    This person probably gets so many accolades for being a morning person

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole After lunchtime I schedule most of my work emails to send at 8am the following morning so I have quiet afternoons. Some people reply far too quickly.
    via fesshole
  • 26

    My jaw dropped to the floor when I read this!

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole ... I save a fortune by always carrying a portable mobile-signal jammer with me. I go out for a meal, ask for the bill and when it comes I turn on the jammer. This stops their PDQ working, meaning they can't take payment with cards. After about 20mins they give up and it's a freebie.
    via fesshole
  • 27
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole When I interview people for positions in my company, I always ask if they are a cat or dog person. I've turned down excellent candidates because they prefer cats.
    via fesshole
  • 28
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole In April I started a job as a customer service advisor with a 25k salary. I worked two days then blocked their number and never returned as I hated it. Since then they've still paid me each month. Hope they never notice.
    via fesshole
  • 29

    "Saves money" um okay then

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Go camping once a year, everytime I go to the shower block, I take a carrier bag and keep the left behind shower gels and shampoos. Had 30 bottles of varying amounts left inside this August. Still got 25 left. Saves money.
    via fesshole
  • 30

    Actually sort of sweet

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole My husband is completely oblivious that he is too large for some of the shirts he owns and he looks ridiculous. So I've started tossing them in the trash, and buy him new larger shirts without telling him. I just cycle them into the laundry and he hasn't figured it out yet.
    via fesshole
  • 31
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Every time I fly I tell the air hosts I'm allergic to nuts so no one eats them. Even though I'm not I just can't stand the smell of them.
    via fesshole
  • 32
    FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I build custom wheelchairs. Recently had an incredibly customer who I overheard using racist language when he thought I couldn't hear. So I made one of his wheels slightly smaller than the other. F is going round in circles for the rest of his life.
    via fesshole
  • 33
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole In my late 20s I was seeing 7 different guys, they each had their own night. It all ended when I had to see Iron Man 3 five times in a week
    via fesshole
  • 34
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole ... Caught my mother-in-law giving the tattoos on my forearms a disapproving look. Went and got both hands done as well just to annoy her. I love her dearly but felt it was my duty.
    via fesshole
  • 35
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I told my boyfriend I dumped him as I didn't like the way he spoke to me. The truth is he told me he hates Kate Bush and it really annoyed me.
    via fesshole
  • 36

    Talk about petty breakup reasoning.

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I once dumped a perfectly nice girl because she sliced her toast vertically. Looked her up, shes now a rich lawyer. I am an idiot.
    via fesshole
  • 37
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole The biggest secret I keep in our house is that I have a secret wormery in the garden. My partner kept saying I couldn't have a wormery, so now I sneak out to feed them scraps when she's at work. Love my secret worms.
    via fesshole
  • 38
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole A few years ago Tesco used to print photos via bluetooth. I used to go to the Pitsea store every Sunday and sit in the shopper's cafe next to the photo desk and if I timed it right, they'd print my photos I'd just sent across from my phone instead of the now irate customer's ones
    via fesshole
  • 39

    I wish I could unread this sentence and now you have to read it too!

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I used to eat spoonfuls of gravy granules as a child, swiftly followed by a spoonful of hot chocolate powder. The perfect sweet and savoury combo
    via fesshole
  • 40
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole Threat of spiders are the best way to make teen daughter keep her room tidy. Told her they love hiding in stuff left on the floor. Been detritus free for weeks. Bliss.
    via fesshole
  • 41

    Some people come on Fesshole and straight up admit to crimes!

    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole ... Must have been about 2003, my best friend lent me his car whilst he was away. I didn't insure it and got pulled by the police. I gave the police false details then promptly drove to a nearby field and burnt the car out. My friend still believes it was stolen from outside my house
    via fesshole
  • 42
    Font - FESS Fesshole HOLE @fesshole I'm a nanny, but I HATE having to get the kids to do their reading & maths practice, can't stand the arguments. Sometimes I just give them sweets to tell their mum we did it. They get sweets, mum thinks they did their work, I get to work with happy kids.
    via fesshole

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