A Candidly Witty Collection of Unorthodox Conversations Held in the Unstable Part of Courthouses

Author image for Eleonora Bader
Eleonora Bader
Jan 16, 2023 12:00 PM EST

A courthouse tends to look immensely impressive on the outside, as it's usually an old building with large white pillars sitting in a busy location. The steps leading up to it are typically decorated with lots of men and women prancing around wearing black, coupled with a serious expression on their tired faces. This building is famously known for holding all kinds of innocents and criminals. The justice system is many things, but today we're gonna focus on the funny aspect of it.

A lot of people have seen the inside of a courtroom, whether they are a plaintiff, an attorney, a witness, an attorney, or a judge… and there is an Instagram account that is fully devoted to posting some pretty hilarious things overheard in there. We've compiled some of the best down below, so check 'em out. While on the topic of the justice system and verdict, click here for some criminally hilarious shower thoughts.

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  • 01
    Font - "Do you have any mental health issues getting in the way of your understanding today?" "Yeah I've got asthma."
    via overheardcourthouse
  • 02
    Font - Potential juror: "I am a yoga teacher and I pick up on energies and right now I'm feeling a deep painful energy from the victim."
    via overheardcourthouse
  • 03
    Font - Defendant's Attorney (explaining why his client wouldn't have understood an eviction process): "I'll even stipulate to the fact that my client is pretty stupid."
    via overheardcourthouse
  • 04
    Font - (domestic relations case) "This baby is very important to me, but I'm not sure if she's my daughter, my niece, or my cousin."
    via overheardcourthouse
  • 05
    Font - Defendant to judge: "I feel really judged right now."
    via overheardcourthouse
  • 06
    Font - Potential juror (claiming a hardship): "I'm an instagram influencer. People have already recognized me this morning." Judge: "That's what I'll do when I retire, be an influencer."
    via overheardcourthouse
  • 07
    Font - (Cross examination defendant regarding a prior hearing) of a pro se Prosecutor: "You swore on the Bible to tell the truth, correct?" Defendant: "No. It was on a video call.”
    via overheardcourthouse
  • 08
    Font - Judge: "How many in your home that you are financially responsible for? Defendant: "I'm going to say three. I have a dog, a lizard, and a female."
    via overheardcourthouse
  • 09
    Font - Legal Aid Attorney: "I'll grab the file from the office, do you need anything else?" Colleague: "The will to live, but you can't bring me that."
    via overheardcourthouse
  • 10
    Font - Court Staff: "Can the state hear me? Are you there?" State: "Sorry, my computer is working about as well as my first marriage. The State is ready."
    via overheardcourthouse
  • 11
    Font - Attorney: "Your honor, the parties do not have any children together." Defendant (angrily): "EXCUSE ME, WE HAVE A DOG!"
    via overheardcourthouse
  • 12
    Font - Judge: "How did you hear about your warrant?" Defendant: "My mother-in-law ran a background check on me."
    via overheardcourthouse
  • 13
    Font - Defense: "So, you're saying the victim won the fight?" Witness: "Facts."
    via overheardcourthouse

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quotes hilarious judge witty attorney lawyer Courtroom lies relatable truth criminal plaintiff courthouse dumb funny
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