The Fine Line Between Reasonable and Controlling: The Classic Tale of "I'll Be the One to Change Him"
Many people enter into relationships with the hope that their partner will provide the stability and security that they need. This goes without saying when pregnancy and child-raising are involved.
Communication is key to creating a successful partnership. However, there is a fine line between being a reasonable partner who requires healthy communication and being controlling and trying to keep tabs on every aspect of their partner's life.
In today's Am I The A$$hole discussion, a woman asked if she was being unreasonable for wanting her boyfriend to tell her if he was coming home late from work or if he was even coming home at all.
OP continued relaying a story of a brief eight-month relationship that resulted in a now four-month pregnancy and cohabitation. Her boyfriend forbade her from texting him while he's at work, even though she's been diagnosed with antenatal depression and has been feeling sick most of the day, and often goes drinking after hours with his friends, leaving OP wondering where he is and if he's returning home.
When she broached the subject and told him that, at the bare minimum, he should communicate if he's coming home for the night, she was met with what can only be described as gaslighting when he replied that she was being controlling by wanting to know his every move.
The real question is - why is OP so desperate to hold on to a relationship with a walking red flag? We suspect she still thinks she'll be the one who can change him, and we all know how that goes….
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