'Her response was he doesn't love his family': Entitled MIL angered when son won't have unexpected early-morning visit with her

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Remy Millisky • Writer and Editor
Feb 15, 2023 5:00 PM EST

This manipulative MIL chose an inopportune time to pop over for a visit, then had the audacity to get mad about it. Early one weekend morning, around 8 AM, this woman's mother in law decided it was the perfect time for her to make an unplanned visit. The surprise visit left the OP furious, and started a huge fight with her MIL, which she chronicled on r/JUSTNOMIL. 

U/qwerty46538 shared that one weekend morning, her MIL started blowing up her son's phone with texts and calls. Since it was a Saturday at 8 AM, the OP and her husband were trying to get some shut-eye, but the MIL just would not stop her tirade. She got madder and madder, and ended up having a fight with the OP, which she shared in an update.

In the comments, people told the OP to change the locks, which is probably a good start! She sounds like a nightmare MIL who definitely needs to learn a lesson about respecting people's privacy. 

Next up, read this story of a guy who won the lottery, and was really excited to share the news. Too bad he called the worst person possible (according to his GF)!

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    Font - r/JUSTNOMIL Posted by u/qwerty46538 2 days ago MIL shows up announced EARLY in the morning on a weekend Anyone Else?
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    Human body - i've been reading about parents showing up unannounced at their children's doorsteps and i never understood why anyone would think this is acceptable behavior.
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    Font - This happened to my husband this weekend where his mom called multiple times at 8 in the morning while we were both sleeping. My husband didn't pick up as we were both still sleeping and then got a text from MIL asking if she could be picked up as she dropped her car off for maintenance for the next couple of hours. Husband being annoyed told her no because he's still sleeping. we both tried to go back to sleep and an hour later we hear her shout outside our bedroom door announcing her ar
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    Font - needless to say husband and i are both pi and he went down to speak to her. her response was he doesn't love his family... d
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    Font - I can't wrap my head around why any parent would NOT think this is the most invasive & unacceptable behavior to subject your child to. she is absolutely insane.
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    Font - What hurts me the most was we gave her the keys in case of emergency and she completely abused it and lost our trust. There's really no going back after this especially with her refusing to understand our POV and no remorse at all. anyone care to explain this behavior?
    via r/JUSTNOMIL
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    Font - UPDATE: thank you everyone for your two cents and those who shared your stories! made me feel less alone and helped with fighting against her guilt trips and gas lighting. Quick update: she unsurprisingly sent my husband a long text message trying to gaslight the both of us. Said she did feel embarrassed by shouting outside our bedroom door (but did it anyway!) and proceeded to call both me and my husband INCONSIDERATE and IMPOLITE BECAUSE WE DIDN'T COME DOWN TO GREET HER.....she was mad
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    Font - Her justification for showing up unannounced was that husband didn't pick up her call at 8 in the morning on a WEEKEND...and that if he picked up and let her now she wasn't invited she would've not showed up....are u f king kidding me....not picking up and "No I'm sleeping" IS NOT AN INVITATION.
    via r/JUSTNOMIL
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    Font - Ended the text message by calling both of us selfish and also had to mention that we go eat at high end restaurants (not sure how that's relevant except a blatant display of jealousy ) and yes we do treat her to the same high end restaurants that we go to because we like sharing good places to eat with friends and family!
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    Font - she also didn't forget to drag me into her issues with her son and called me cold, rude and impolite because I never came out of my bedroom to cater to her needs! at least now I know this isn't just a boundary/communication issue - she's just bats crazy...
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    Font - WeepingSomnabulist 1 day ago My normally low-key mom did the "MIL busts in unannounced at awkward time", at least once, to her normally very assertive daughter-in- law. With me in tow. I lived far away and was just visiting at the time, and clueless. "Let's go see DIL and grandkid!" OK. We show up to the house and DIL is having dinner with a friend and very surprised. So we sit there awkwardly while they eat. I still have no idea if this was a usual thing or just a weird one-off. Some MIL
    via r/JUSTNOMIL
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    Font - Condensed_Sarcasm 1 day ago. edited 1 day ago Time to change your locks and not give her any keys. Parents that do this c are boundary stomping and think they have the right to do what they want because they're FaMiLy. It would've been different if she'd communicated about wanting a ride after dropping off her car the previous day/week and set something up with you, but no. She thinks that, as his mother, your SO should drop everything to help his mommy.
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    Font - Slow Sherbert_5181 1 day ago . Yeah, my parents have asked for rides for various reasons over the years (dropping their car off for maintenance, a lift to our from the airport, that sort of thing) but it's always been set up at least a few days in advance. That we should do everything we're doing for their convenience is nonsense!
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    Font - dezkutbay 1 day ago Yeah I can explain it. This behaviour is based on entitlement. Some people think having / raising kids means they owe them for the rest of their life. I think they see it as an investment into servitude. They need reality checks. Maybe their parents were like that with them, idk
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    Font - EvilMater 1 day ago There was a line drawn in the sand for her. She did this deliberately to show you that your boundaries do not apply to her. Only solution? Consequences. You ignored that we said we were sleeping? Your calls are now muted. You entered our home and abused the privilege of having an emergency key? No more key for you. (And, yes, definitely change the locks).
    via r/JUSTNOMIL
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    Gesture - NiobeTonks 1 day ago Replace your key lock with a code lock. You can give her the code if you want her to water the plants while you're away, but change it when you're back. How dare she?
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    Font - occams1razor- 1 day ago anyone care to explain this behavior? You know that thing you can do where you imagine how the world looks and feels like from someone else's perspective and imagine their feelings and care about them and feel bad when they feel bad? Imagine what it would be like to not being able to shift your perspective like that and not having any kind of compassion for others. Life is just "me me me me what I deserve me me what can I make people do for me me me" and that's all
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    Font - mercymercybothhands - 1 day ago This is absolutely true. She wanted something and she was determined to have it even after being told no. I have a friend whose mom is like this. She views him as an extension of her. Everything he does is a reflection of her and if he makes a choice that is what she wants, it is a problem because she views him as an accessory, not as person with his own needs.
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    Font - . URAYummy Potato - 1 day ago 1. Don't answer the phone. 2. Lock the door from the inside or get the keys back or change the locks.
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    Font - SeagullMom 1 day ago . Put her on your do not disturb list, so that she can't call you and disturb your peaceful mornings until a time that you are ok with her calling. Then change the locks and don't tell her. Get a key that you can hide somewhere on your property, or switch to a keypad lock. She needs a timeout both for being so rude with the multiple calls, and because she's proven that she has zero problem violating your boundaries and breaking your trust.
    via r/JUSTNOMIL
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    Mammal - foodfueled_nightmare 1 day ago It's called ENTITLEMENT. And your Mil had the AUDACITY to display it!
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    Font - MarvellousIntrigue 2 days ago. edited 1 day ago I'm think it must be a generation thing....? I have had family members do this too! It drove me insane as well! I would literally hide inside and pretend I wasn't home lol. We use to have a electronic lock on the front door. I told this same family member the code when they were over and watching the kids. Then low and behold!!! They started just helping themselves to come inside!! Wtaf!!
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    Font - What the h crosses your mind to think this is ok!! I ended up telling them not to do it. That it makes me feel very uncomfortable. That I rarely get time to relax and the last thing I need is to feel on edge that someone might just turn up! The response I got, 'we're family. I don't mind if you're in pjs or the house is a mess.' I don't care if you don't mind! I MIND!!! Also, if I wanted to spend the day with you, I'd ask you to come over! Like my time isn't important! Just because you ar
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    Font - ITSBRITNEYSB S. 2 days ago This is my husband's family!!!!! They either: 1. show up early with no notice (think... preparing to host a full-spread Thanksgiving dinner, but they arrive 3 hours early while you're still in the thick of it and loiter obliviously in front of the stove/oven: OR 2) set the date/time THEMSELVES but decide day-of (or mere hours before) that it needs to be moved up by 2-3 hours. This is so utterly bizarre to me; people either run a LITTLE BIT late or a LITTLE BIT e
    via r/JUSTNOMIL

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just-no-MIL wife husband mother in law entitled weekend bedroom sleeping
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