Favorite

Wildly Unexpected Tinder Pickup Lines That Spotlight Tinder for the Circus That It Is

The emotionally stunted, albeit pun-inclined, ever inappropriate Tinder pickup fiends (see last week's batch here) are back at it again this week to keep us entertained and a little bit discouraged with the state of the modern dating climate. Wonder if any of these clowns got the anywhere after 'breaking the ice.' 

Share
Tweet
Stumble
Pin It
Email
  • 1
    Product - I kinda thought pizza was enough compensation Pizza doesn't get me through college So that's how you usually work... so who's your pimp? I'm my own pimp, but I guess if we're speaking technically then Tinder is my pimp Active 9 hours ago Great ti.. Personality Is this part of the "adventure seeker"
    Pin It

  • 2
    Text - Jarett YOU MATCHED WITH JARETT ON 4/3/17 What is something you have tried, but will never do again? Apr 5, 2017, 12:24 AM Anal Mines probably fish.... .but yeah, yours is cool too
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • 3
    Text - Mackenzie YOU MATCHED WITH MACKENZIE ON 3/23/17 Hey do you want my AIDS? Sent Type a Message... Send GIF I'm lol 3 4 9 0 2 6 7 5 ) $ / & ? #+= X АВС return space LO
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • 4
    Text - Rachel YOU MATCHED WITH RACHEL ON 3/30/17 Hey Rach, super sorry but after a weekend of experimenting, it turns out I'm gay. I'm really sorry for the wasted swipe Although, a butthole is a butthole so if you want to go mudding, I'll rev my engine
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • Advertisement
  • 5
    Text - Taylor YOU MATCHED WITH TAYLOR ON 3/31/17 so the moon landing...real or staged? Real for sure alright cool just making sure thought it was ataged my ex total nut case Oh yeah she's gotta be a nut yeah i really dodged a bullet there so anyways you wanna meet up Sent Yeah sure Send Type a Message... GIF
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • 6
    Text - Susie YOU MATCHED WITH SUSIE ON 3/27/17 My Susie is bad and boujee I be eating her taco in my Gucci jacuzzi Mar 28, 2017, 11:10 PM Mar 29, 2017, 5:47 AM Phone number? Mar 29, 2017, 3:44 PM Snap chat? Mar 30, 2017, 10:01 AM AOL instant messenger? Sent Mar 30, 2017, 10:24 AM Snapchat Type a Message... Send GIF
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • 7
    Cartoon - K Linoy YOU SUPER LIKED LINOY ON 4/5/17 MEHOY MINOY *linoy Sent Apr 5, 2017, 10:09 PM You actually just won at tinder Type a Message... Send GIF
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • Advertisement
  • 8
    Text - Dan YOU MATCHED WITH DAN ON 4/5/17 I hate everything about your profile... but I might be in love Apr 7, 2017, 5:43 PM Excuse me? Sent Type a Message... Send GIF
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • 9
    Text - Olivia Feb 3, 2015, 9:44 PM Hey *insert personality* Hey *inserts penis* Oh *gives questionable/ surprised look* fingers butt hole* you like that baby? *takes fingers and sucks on them* yeah it's great Feb 3, 2015, 10:28 PM *Instantly cums all over your face* marry me? *clears cum from eyes* maybe Send Message
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • 10
    Text - Kallisti when are you sailing for westeros? Kallisti I had to look up that khaleesi reference I don't think this is gonna work Kallisti I hope you can understand my reasons for not watching? 1) too many idiotic people asking questions about my name and if my parents named me after khaleesi, when the show came out maybe 4 years ago and I was born in 98. 2) I currently don't have access to a program me provider through which I could watch the show. 3) I have heard it is extremely based on i
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • Advertisement
  • 11
    Text - Willow YOU MATCHED WITH WILLOW ON 3/14/17 So l'be had this fetish for the past couple years. I want you to dress up as a Clinton from Star Trek, and l'all be Captain Kirk, I want to set my phasers to fuck, then I drag your lifeless body back to the control room of the USS Enterprise and I rape the shit out of you, then Spock eats out your ass as I shit on your chest and cum on your face at the same time. Later, Scotty is fixing the warp drive as you give him a rim job delaying the job by
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • 12
    Text - Alyssa Because... that's prostitution Thanks wikipedia I kinda thought pizza was enough compensation Pizza doesn't get me through college So that's how you usually work... so who's your pimp? I'm my own pimp, but I guess if we're speaking technically then Tinder is my pimp Is this part of the "adventure seeker" part of your bio? Cause it definitely doesn't fall under the "christ follower" portion Jesus wants me to get through college Look best I can do is 100 for your college in exchange
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • 13
    Text - Miranda YOU MATCHED WITH MIRANDA ON 3/2/17 Do you like your In N Out fries like you like your men? ANIMAL STYLE? Mar 6, 2017, 12:40 PM Fck yeah Do you ever get extra Spread? Mar 10, 2017, 3:03 AM Guess not Sent GIF Type a Message... Send
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • Advertisement
  • 14
    Text - Hey Makena Makena Christian So I'll cut straight to it. My buddies are interested in an Eiffel Tower and want to know if that's something either of you are up to it? Makena Glad these are the men preparing to serve our country. Send Type a Message... GIF
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • 15
    Text - Kaitie YOU MATCHED WITH KAITIE ON 4/5/17 Both of my dads would go straight for you. Hahahah that would easily be my biggest accomplishment Apr 6, 2017, 1:26 AM What's your second biggest accomplishment? Sent Getting you to go straight for me GIF Type a Message... Send
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • 16
    Text - YOU MATCHED WITH ALLISON & ERIN ON 12/7/16 hey babies my friend Austin here is special needs and it's on his bucket list to go on a double date with his best friend (me) so what'd ya say Dec 7, 2016, 7:59 PM Austin Uahhh errgg ahh Dec 7, 2016, 9:07 PM he just said he wants to sleep at your place,no hobo Sent Dec 9, 2016, 10:22 PM Allison That's a terrible pick up line You shouldn't make fun of someone with special needs you asshole Send Type a Message... GIF
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • Advertisement
  • 17
    Text - Tori See when Tori answers Enable Enable push notifications YOU MATCHED WITH TORI ON 1/13/17 I see you like Star Wars? Mar 16, 2017, 9:02 PM Cause id love to fire my proton torpedo down your ventilation shaft then pull out at the last second... Sent Type a Message... Send GIF
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • 18
    Text - YOU MATCHED WITH AARCON ON 4/8/17 If I had Emily-on dollars for every girl who was as hot as you l'd still have $0 Apr 8, 2017, 7:52 PM Message me if you're free tonight Apr 8, 2017, 8:39 PM I just wanna cuddle with someone haha. Like, literally just cuddle Apr 8, 2017, 9:17 PM Sorry 'll leave you alone..
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • 19
    Text - Julia YOU MATCHED WITH JULIA ON 3/13/17 If I kiss your Huffelpuff, will you Slytherin? let me Mar 30, 2017, 20:41 Are you a dementor because you keep taking my breath away Please respond I'm Siriusly lonely. If you don't, I'll have to Ron Weasley my way into another DM. At this point I'm just entertaining myself... so number? Send Type a Message... GIF
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM

  • Advertisement
  • 20
    Text - Madison YOU SUPER LIKED MADISON ON 4/7/17 I'm Syria(s) when I say you're the bomb. Sent Send Type a Message... GIF
    Pin It
    Via H/T: TFM
  • -
  • Vote
  • -
Share
Tweet
Stumble
Pin It
Email

Next on FAIL Blog

26 Photos Taken Moments Before FAILure
Comments - Click to show - Click to hide