19-year-old refuses to give his parents and 7 younger siblings money after having supported them financially since he was 12: 'It's up to everyone else to make it work since it was on me from a really unfair age.'

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Writer and Editor
Dec 18, 2025 11:00 AM EST

It's time for his parents and siblings to step up.

No parent wants to ask their kid to help support the family financially. The parents who ask this of their teenage children only do so when they're in the most desperate financial situation. They want to ensure the lights stay on, so they ask their kid to get a part-time job after school to make it happen. 

In less desperate situations, a teen will work to have a little more money to spend on themselves. Maybe their parents will make them save up for their own car or pay for their own gas. Perhaps they want more money to go out with their friends on weekends. The best part about being a teen with a job is that, in most cases, you will be fine if you quit. You might not have much pocket change, but you will be secure knowing you'll have a bed to sleep in and a roof over your head. That is, if your parents are financially responsible enough to provide those things to you. Unfortunately, not all parents are financially responsible enough to do that. 

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  • The parents in this story started having kids and never stopped. That has strained the family's finances, and the parents have pressured their eldest son to pick up the slack for the past 7 years. Now that he has moved out and is supporting himself financially, his parents keep crawling back for more. 

  • Man in black and red jacket smiling
    via Jakob Rosen

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • Am I the bad guy for not helping my parents and siblings out financially when I know they are struggling for food, cleaning supplies and other needs?

    My parents have a lot of kids. They had me (19m), Grace (17f) and James (16m) close together. Then a few years later they had Megan (12f), Alex (11m) and Jody (9f). Then another few years later they had Summer (4f) and Maisie (3f).
    via u/Ry6060606
  • My parents had more kids than they could handle and more than they could afford. I was the easiest of their kids and because | was so easy they found it better to burden me with responsibilities and let my siblings do what they liked. I had chores, my siblings didn't. I was told about financial constraints but not my siblings.
    via u/Ry6060606
  • My parents would ask me to spoil my siblings, they would get mad at me if I tried to get my siblings to help with anything. Even Grace and James who aren't much younger than me were allowed to do nothing and if I asked them to do stuff it angered our parents.
    via u/Ry6060606
  • I was asked to contribute money starting around age 12. My mom suggested I could babysit or do chores for neighbors. I did for a while but they got more demanding and I stopped and I told my parents I wasn't doing it again. They backed off for a little bit but started monitoring my every move and searching my room because they said if I made money I should let it go to the family.
    via u/Ry6060606
  • I got a part time job at 16 and had to do it secretly at first. I was working for 4 months before my parents noticed because I had a friend cover for me. When they found out they wanted me to stop saving and contribute to the household but I said no. At that
    via u/Ry6060606
  • point most of my siblings turned against me and treated me like dogshit for not paying for stuff so they could have more. At the same time my parents babied all of them and asked for nothing from them. Not even to pick up after themselves.
    via u/Ry6060606
  • I moved out at 18 with small savings and I started working full time. My education suffered because of my parents just didn't care about it and when I struggled they ignored it. No matter how hard I tried I wasn't able to keep up or do well in school. It was thrown around
    via u/Ry6060606
  • Man in brown sweater sitting on chair
    via Jeswin Thomas

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • before that I might have a learning but my parents ignored it and so IDK if I have or not but I don't want to go back to education at this point. I'm just focused on working and I work a lot of hours.
    via u/Ry6060606
  • I moved away from my family and went no contact but I didn't block them and that was a bad move, one I have fixed recently. But it meant they reached out when things got really bad and asked me for help with money. It was my parents, Grace, James and Megan who asked. They all said
    via u/Ry6060606
  • they can't even really afford food and they've struggled to afford other stuff. Grace told me I owed them a lot because I let them do without before so I could abandon everyone and she said it was my responsibility as the oldest sibling to make sure they have everything. After I got several calls and DMs about this I blocked them everywhere and shut down one social media account. I haven't heard from
    via u/Ry6060606
  • them since thanks to this. But I did ask someone back in my home town if it was true and it is. I decided not to help out anyway. I figure it's up to everyone else to make it work since it was on me from a really unfair age too and maybe my siblings will grow to appreciate what I did do for them if they have to actually figure stuff out themselves. Or maybe not.
    via u/Ry6060606
  • I'm beyond the point of caring if they do or not. AITAH?
    via u/Ry6060606
  • LanguageLoose149 NTA you've done enough for them
    via u/LanguageLoose149
  • OP Ry6060606 I think so too but then I wasn't sure if that was the right way to think of it. I just know I don't want to weight of my parents choices put on my shoulders again.
    via u/Ry6060606
  • NTA teresajs Your parents and your two teen siblings could be working to help with their own living expenses. There are government and charitable programs that could help with their food and other immediate needs.
    via u/teresajs
  • Young female volunteer in uniform holding ladle with cooked food over big pan before putting it into plastic container
    via Getty Images (Unsplash+)

    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • OP Ry6060606 They could but my siblings have been raised to do nothing and have everything done for them. My parents could even ask their church since they were so sure the church wanted them to have all the kids they did and follow the religious/godly way and other crap like that.
    via u/Ry6060606
  • Chilling_Storm Only you know the road you have traveled to get to this decision. Believe in yourself and your choices. Your parents will find a way or they won't. They are adults and there are agencies that can help them with food. I think you know if you open the door even a crack they will shove it open. You need to prioritize you and make sure you are financially secure - especially given your age and education level the rug can - be pulled out far too quickly and you have no safety net with
    via u/Chilling_Storm
  • OP Ry6060606 I know and that's the last thing I want. Then it will become harder to live on my own and if I go back there then there's a good chance l will never be able to dig myself back out.
    via u/Ry6060606
  • NTA busyshrew As a mother: It is your parents' job to house feed and clothe their own children!!! Also think of it this way: you will NEVER be able to make enough and give enough to satisfy your parents. AND IT IS NOT YOUR JOB TO DO THIS. Please OP, save yourself. Your parents (and possibly siblings), very sadly, are like drowning people who will clutch onto you and drag you under and you will drown yourself if you try to save them all. I am sorry you are wrestling with this guilt but you should
    via u/busyshrew
  • National-Plastic8691 and never, ever help them. there are social service programs for their help. they probably wasted money so they could ask you for basics. just take care of yourself and put all your savings towards learning and developing yourself, plus having a good time. These people are dishonest amd are trying to use you. This includes your siblings. I recommend grey rocking at least. if they say you owe them, disengage by walking away. you can't argue with crazy
    via u/National-Plastic8691
  • noaa94 NTA. You are 19 and they started financially exploiting you at 12 while exempting all your siblings from chores AND demanding you spoil them? Thats not parenting, thats running an indentured servitude operation and demanding you fund their poor life choices. They are punishing you for having boundaries now because you were the easy target who did all the work before. Stop sending them anything immediately, and if they resort to monitoring your room or demanding access to your money again,
    via u/noaa94
  • noaa94 NTA. You are 19 and they were financially exploiting you since age 12 while letting your younger siblings do nothing. This isnt about helping struggling family; this is about your parents treating you like an indentured servant and their personal ATM. They are weaponizing their financial struggles to maintain their entitlement over your income. Create distancefinancially and emotionallyimmediately.
    via u/noaa94
  • NerdySwampWitch40 NTA. Hon, you need to put your own Oxygen mask on first. You are 19 and now responsible for your own rent, groceries, necessities, and utilities. Your parents CHOSE to keep having kids. It's on them to fix this. And that means they need to be reaching out to social services for what options they can, utilizing food bank programs, and other community supports.
    via u/NerdySwampWitch40
  • NTA. QuirkyLibrarian17 I haven't read all the comments, but I will say this: IF you parents treated all the kids the same with the motto: Family Contributes, this would be an entirely different post. If ALL of you had been treated with the: you do chores, you all earn money to help with X thing, it's more palatable. I say this because when I was 12, I was told the same thing. And I was an only child. BUT, my money went for my school supplies and clothes we could buy me from thrift stores because
    via u/QuirkyLibrarian17
  • Buffyoh NTA! Tell your sibs and parents to paddle their own canoe! And with eight kids, they are getting all their taxes back anyway, so they should not be leeching off you. wish you the best!
    via u/Buffyoh

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brother teenagers siblings finances sister financial support adult children parents entitled people moving out
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