CheezCake

‘She Can Text Me’ : Selfish Girlfriend Refuses to Learn Sign Language in Order to Communicate With Boyfriend’s Mute Daughter, Says It’s ‘Unnecessary’ and ‘Coddling’

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    Font - Posted by u/Throwawayaita8317 23 hours ago AITA calling my girlfriend selfish for refusing to learn sign-language daughter for my
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  • 2
    Font - My daughter Ruby was born mute. She can understand words, but we use sign language to communicate. While she can use her phone or write, obviously she prefers to sign.
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    Font - The issue is my girlfriend, Amanda. We've been dating for around 9 months, and introduced our children around 3 months ago. They don't know sign language so communication with Ruby was awkward at first, she hates having to write or use her phone at home. So I taught Amanda some basic signs beforehand, and I've continued teaching her and Mia more in this time. Mia is getting a lot better actually.
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    Font - But Amanda has apparently decided it's too hard and refuses to learn any more. She says that it's 'unnecessary' since Ruby can understand her and communicate other ways. While Ruby is usually willing to do that for them, she doesn't enjoy it and finds it frustrating. I told Amanda she's
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  • 5
    Font - being selfish and lazy. That it's not fair to put all the effort on Ruby. It's one thing if she doesn't get it after years, but it's only been a few months. It's just ridiculous. We got into a fight over it and she basically called me an asshole and said it's not her fault she struggles with it. But that doesn't mean just give up. If she wants to be in our life it's the bare minimum effort to put in.
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    Font - I clearly think she's just being selfish, while she thinks I'm an asshole and unfair. I vented to my brother and he agreed with Amanda. That I can't force her to learn and not everyone is good with language. And that Ruby doesn't 'need' it and I'm 'coddling her'. I'm honestly still pissed off but
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    Font - I do love Amanda. She's normally thoughtful and kind, and I guess it's possible it's just me being overprotective of Ruby. I think it's a reasonable expectation, but I'm starting to doubt myself
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  • 8
    Font - Pepper-90210 · 23 hr. ago Pooperintendant [64] NTA. This should be a dealbreaker for you.
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    Font - Throwawayaita8317 OP. 23 hr. ago I've been thinking it might be. But my brother's reaction made me doubt myself. She's never been like this before so it took me by surprise
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    Font - litt3lliOn - 23 hr. ago Pooperintendant [59] Your brother is an AH too. Asking for someone that I'm guessing you might see a future with to learn how to best communicate with your daughter is not coddling her and she does in fact NEED to be able to communicate but more importantly in a manner
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  • 11
    Font - she feels most comfortable with (your daughter I mean). Asking a CHILD to accommodate an adult is honestly one of the more entitled things I've heard. The fact that an adult is saying "This is to hard for me, do it how I want to" is troubling and something you should really consider before taking any further steps with Amanda.
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    Font - Dazzling-Raccoon-201. 19 hr. ago Yeah because if she becomes stepmom this is is a sign of things to come. Parents- all parents- should be willing to do anything for their children- she's already putting down a boundary- doesn't bode well for the future. NTA.
  • 13
    Font - pinkflower200 13 hr. ago Agreed. Your daughter's happiness is important OP. Your girlfriend won't have Ruby's best interests at heart..

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