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‘She Can Text Me’ : Selfish Girlfriend Refuses to Learn Sign Language in Order to Communicate With Boyfriend’s Mute Daughter, Says It’s ‘Unnecessary’ and ‘Coddling’

It's crazy how easily people settle for the bare minimum these days. We've become so used to mediocre efforts and half a$$ attempts that we've almost given up on expecting more from others. We like to think we deserve the world, but when it comes down to it our judgment gets clouded. 

But let's be real, accepting the bare minimum only enables people to keep doing the same thing over and over again. And once that happens, they begin to believe that the bare minimum is enough and god forbid you ever question it, they gaslight you until you think you're crazy. Welp, that's at least how it's going for this guy right here. 

We recently stumbled upon a Reddit story about a man asking Reddit whether he's an a$$hole for making his girlfriend learn sign language in order to communicate with his mute daughter. See, she gave it a quick shot but decided not to pursue it. Now he's wondering whether this is a deal breaker… 

Posted by elina lee
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  • 1
    Font - Posted by u/Throwawayaita8317 23 hours ago AITA calling my girlfriend selfish for refusing to learn sign-language daughter for my
    Via u/
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  • 2
    Font - My daughter Ruby was born mute. She can understand words, but we use sign language to communicate. While she can use her phone or write, obviously she prefers to sign.
    Via u/
  • 3
    Font - The issue is my girlfriend, Amanda. We've been dating for around 9 months, and introduced our children around 3 months ago. They don't know sign language so communication with Ruby was awkward at first, she hates having to write or use her phone at home. So I taught Amanda some basic signs beforehand, and I've continued teaching her and Mia more in this time. Mia is getting a lot better actually.
    Via u/
  • 4
    Font - But Amanda has apparently decided it's too hard and refuses to learn any more. She says that it's 'unnecessary' since Ruby can understand her and communicate other ways. While Ruby is usually willing to do that for them, she doesn't enjoy it and finds it frustrating. I told Amanda she's
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  • 5
    Font - being selfish and lazy. That it's not fair to put all the effort on Ruby. It's one thing if she doesn't get it after years, but it's only been a few months. It's just ridiculous. We got into a fight over it and she basically called me an asshole and said it's not her fault she struggles with it. But that doesn't mean just give up. If she wants to be in our life it's the bare minimum effort to put in.
    Via u/
  • 6
    Font - I clearly think she's just being selfish, while she thinks I'm an asshole and unfair. I vented to my brother and he agreed with Amanda. That I can't force her to learn and not everyone is good with language. And that Ruby doesn't 'need' it and I'm 'coddling her'. I'm honestly still pissed off but
    Via u/
  • 7
    Font - I do love Amanda. She's normally thoughtful and kind, and I guess it's possible it's just me being overprotective of Ruby. I think it's a reasonable expectation, but I'm starting to doubt myself
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  • 8
    Font - Pepper-90210 · 23 hr. ago Pooperintendant [64] NTA. This should be a dealbreaker for you.
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  • 9
    Font - Throwawayaita8317 OP. 23 hr. ago I've been thinking it might be. But my brother's reaction made me doubt myself. She's never been like this before so it took me by surprise
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  • 10
    Font - litt3lliOn - 23 hr. ago Pooperintendant [59] Your brother is an AH too. Asking for someone that I'm guessing you might see a future with to learn how to best communicate with your daughter is not coddling her and she does in fact NEED to be able to communicate but more importantly in a manner
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  • 11
    Font - she feels most comfortable with (your daughter I mean). Asking a CHILD to accommodate an adult is honestly one of the more entitled things I've heard. The fact that an adult is saying "This is to hard for me, do it how I want to" is troubling and something you should really consider before taking any further steps with Amanda.
    Via u/
  • 12
    Font - Dazzling-Raccoon-201. 19 hr. ago Yeah because if she becomes stepmom this is is a sign of things to come. Parents- all parents- should be willing to do anything for their children- she's already putting down a boundary- doesn't bode well for the future. NTA.
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  • 13
    Font - pinkflower200 13 hr. ago Agreed. Your daughter's happiness is important OP. Your girlfriend won't have Ruby's best interests at heart..
    Via u/

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