'My daughter isn't [your] practice child': Sister-in-law "Lila" uses 5-year-old niece as parenting “practice,” mom finally puts a stop to it after overhearing her say “come to mama”

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Ely Bulnes • Writer and Editor
Aug 21, 2025 4:00 PM EDT

When you take care of other peoples' kids, either as the go-to free babysitter at family events or as a paid full-time nanny, you gain experience in childcare that can come in handy when you finally have children of your own. However, it is a really odd thing to go into these experiences with the explicit intention of rehearsing motherhood, as one woman, Lila, did with her sister-in-law's child for a time. She fed the 5-year-old without asking, insisted on carrying her around in public, and even gave mom unsolicited parenting advice despite not having kids of her own. This all came to a head when Lila told the girl to "come to Mommy."

The mom, understandably, totally snapped, reminding Lila that she isn't the girl's mother. Her family told her she should've been gentler with Lila, but in my opinion, they should've been more understanding of the situation from the mom's perspective. She felt like her authority as a parent was being undermined right to her face. Sometimes saying no, even to family, is the only way to assert your boundaries. 

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  • 01

    AITA for telling my brother's fiancée that my daughter isn't her practice child?

    Baby walking towards woman with open arms
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  • 02
    My brother (29M) is engaged to "Lila" (28F). Lila is very excited about starting a family, but she keeps using my daughter (5F) as
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  • 03
    her "practice run." Every time we see her, she tries to take over, telling me how I should discipline, feeding my daughter without
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  • 04
    Little girl sitting on woman's lap, both smiling at a tablet
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 05
    asking, even insisting on carrying her around in public. At a recent family BBQ, Lila told my daughter to "come to Mommy." I snapped and said, "You're not her mom.
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  • 06
    Stop treating her like a doll to play house with." Lila cried, saying she was just showing love.
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  • 07
    My brother is furious with me, and my parents think I should've been "gentler." But honestly, I felt like my role as a parent was being undermined. So AITA?
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  • I think hearing someone else say that to your child would make any parent see red!

  • 08
    Upset woman with head in her hands
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 09
    Forsaken_Pick3201 NTA - your brother should have been the one to take care of his future wife and her boundaries. Mom could have stepped in gently and stopped it.
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  • 10
    You did it your way. I bet you have been saying things for a while but come to mommy just pushed you over. It is time to distance your daughter from her.
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  • 11
    DazzleBaby_ Yeah, "come to mommy" would've been the final straw for me too, that's way too far.
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  • 12
    _PoshSugar Right? That would've set me off too. There's a huge difference between being playful with a kid and outright crossing that boundary. Most parents wouldn't tolerate that for a second.
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  • 13
    Similar-Mirror-4464 Right, if they can't respect boundaries now, it's only going to get worse, protecting your daughter comes first.
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  • 14
    No_Text_4500 Nta. If someone told my kid to "come to mommy" and they meant themselves... yeah. Id tell them to back off as well. What a weirdo. Tell your brother to get a cape sp he can be super mad.
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  • 15
    Similar-Mirror-4464 calling themselves 'mommy' to your kid crosses a huge line. Your brother can be mad all he wants, but boundaries are boundaries.
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  • 16
    DivinaWilsoss NTA. She needs to get her own kid to practice on, not yours.
    via u/DivinaWilsoss
  • 17
    DazzleBaby_ Exactly. Someone else's child isn't a dress rehearsal for motherhood. It's one thing to be excited for kids, but another to use someone's kid to test run her parenting dreams.
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  • 18
    Mom and daughter walking on a path, backs turned to camera
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    Image is representative only and does not depict the actual subjects of the story.

  • 19
    PassComprehensive425 NTA- Lila is used to get whatever she wants. She cried and everyone came to her defense. You've been played.
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  • 20
    Tell your family that you and your daughter will no longer be attending any event that Lila will
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    be at. And if she shows up "unexpectedly," you'll leave. Your daughter is a human being, not a doll.
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  • It sounds like Lila learned to turn on the waterworks any time she had to take responsibility for her actions!

  • 22
    FantasticBoot7205 NTA - she has problems
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  • 23
    Polarbear_revolution NTA, your brother is allowing this behaviour and is letting her cross boundaries that shouldn't be
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  • 24
    crossed .If it wasn't so creepy, it would be nice to have a kind future aunt, but on this occasion, he needs to nip this in the bud for you and your daughter.
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  • 25
    PleaseCoffeeMe Lila is aggressively waving red flags at you, at everyone. Lila doesn't understand "gentle".
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  • 26
    Time to double down on that boundary. Remind them again you are the parent, and Lila referring to herself as the mother
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  • 27
    is weird and confusing for daughter. You could understand "Auntie Lila, but calling herself mommy is a non starter." NTA
    via u/PleaseCoffeeMe

Tags

family drama baby toddler married with children motherhood niece parenting aunt dad family boundaries daughter raising kids mom parents
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